How is your QUALITY OF LIFE???

Ok, so I’m not saying we shouldn’t strive to meet our personal goals. That is NOT what I am saying here.

 

But here’s the reality of our present state.

Some of us will work hard, do all the right things, and not quite achieve what we set out to achieve. Some of us will stumble. Some of us will struggle. And along the way, we’ll all inevitably wonder if we could have done more, eaten less, exercised more, worried less and got a better result than we did.

 

Are we failures? NO!

 

I would empower you to consider the quality of your LIFE. And I know what you all are going to say. I’m going to get a bunch of responses from folks who say they DO consider that. And I love that you do that. But do you REALLY do that? When you get on that scale and look at that number, do you take into account the quality of your life and how it has changed since surgery?

 

If you do, great. You’re golden. If you’re thinking maybe you don’t always, consider this.

 

I didn’t make it to my self-prescribed goal. I continue to work at it but guess what? I am HUMAN. I like what I like and there are some things I am just straight up unwilling to sacrifice for this process. And it’s not about the food per se. It’s about how I get enjoyment in life. What I find important. The way I choose to spend my time.

 

So I endeavor every day to follow the basic rules of this process. I make my meals protein forward and moderate fats and carbohydrates. I take my vitamins. (God help me) I drink my water. And I exercise.

 

And I could choose to spend my time being bummed by the fact that I didn’t get traditionally “skinny" but here’s the thing: I only get this one life (that I know of) and I don’t want to waste it on regret.

Looking at my quality of life actually helps me a lot. I can RUN now where I could barely walk. Speaking of walking, I can WALK into any clothing store and buy clothing where I was once limited to plus sized only shops. I can stand to look at pictures of myself and let other people hug me. I smile at people and talk to them. I have energy. When I choose to sleep, I do so very well. I can frickin survive Body Pump class!!!

 

These things make me feel very triumphant about this process. At three years out, some days I need to focus on the triumphant things. Because it is very true that life is not fair. Look at three people posting on this board and you’re likely to get three different experiences. It’s almost always going to look, to you, like someone has done better, achieved more. But how is the quality of your life? Do you enjoy things now that you didn’t before? Can you DO things now that you couldn’t before? Are you healthier in your mind? Body? Spirit?

 

Those are the things I’d empower everyone to focus on. Like I said, there’s nothing wrong with getting to a goal. But the ability to put this whole process in perspective is so important. Because weight will always fluctuate (for some of us it will go down, for some it will come back up). But if you hold onto those quality of life changes that you really, really wanted, that’s worth fighting for…even on the days when you are seriously contemplating taking a sledge hammer to that damn scale!

Nik, I couldn't agree more.

So often I see posts where pre ops and newbies state a goal in terms of "I want to weigh 120 lbs." or "I want to wear a size 6."

And the truth is, there is a w-h-o-l-e lot more to the journey than that.

One of my early support group leaders coined the word "successing." (It's even on her license plate!) By this she means that success is not a single destination point in our WLS journey - but rather, we take a million small steps, and each one helps us in the process of "successing."

Did I take my vitamins today? That's successing.
Am I drinkig enough water? That's successing.
Did I get some exercise? That's successing.
Am I grateful that my coat buttoned on a chilly day? That's REALLY successing.

May we be truly empowered to look at those quality of life things that take us far beyond the number on a scale or on a clothing tag. My daughter knows that I can keep up with her 3 preschoolers and is confident in leaving them with me. My grown up son is proud of how I look and can't get over how it feels when he gives me a hug. My mom tells me that I look better than I ever did, and that I can do anything I set my mind to. I am not nervous when I get weighed at a doctor's visit. My bra and my socks don't cut into my skin. I can sit comfortably in a theater seat or on a plane. Exercise feels good. I am no longer embarrassed to be at a social function related to my husband's job. I'm not the fattest woman in the room...or even the fattest woman in the aisle at Costco.

Good thoughts!

"I am no longer embarrassed to be at a social function related to my husband's job. I'm not the fattest woman in the room...or even the fattest woman in the aisle at Costco"

Pre-surgery I was almost always the biggest woman at functions with our friends.  Not anymore!  I love that I'm not the only one that sizes that up (pun not intended--lol).  I look around the room now at every function.  Feels good to be normal.

I need to get better at this Nik, you know by now I'm 'one of those' number maniacs.  I'm taking steps with a counselor to overcome my skinny obsession.  I even upped my goal from 140 pounds to 159 pounds which is all I need for a healthy BMI.  So I'm making strides to appreciate the quality of the life I now have.  It is still an everyday struggle for me.  There isn't much time that goes by where I'm not thinking about my surgery.  I think that thought process brings both positives and negatives...I never want to forget what I once was, but obsessing about getting back to that size is counter-productive.  I'm trying to find the balance.  I'll get there one day.

Thanks for always sharing your thoughts.

Give up on the BMI and go for Body Fat %.

Right now my BMI has me pegged in the middle of overweight but my body fat % has me at the top of normal.  By working out and gaining more muscle the body fat will drop and make me more in the normal category but maintain the same weight.  I'll take that any day

But so you know you have made amazing progress in your attitude and your outlook over the past few months keep up the great work.

I'm only 27 days out and I can say that my quality of life has already improved!

I'm in that dreadful early stall and the scale hasn't moved in 12 days, but you know what? I've noticed that my feet don't swell anymore! I can wear shoes that I had not been able to wear in a while because they were too tight on my feet! And today I put on a pair of pants for work that I generally only wear if I have to meet a client (they are the only ones that match my suit jacket) because they are so tight and uncomfortable, and today they FIT!

Yes, those are size related things, but they are also self-esteem related things and they make me smile. They make me feel good about the way I look. No more fat-lady-flats! No more elastic waist pants! Soon I will be able to dress more fashionably.

And I so feel you ladies on the "fattest woman in the room" thing. I dwell on it all the time. I live in a neighborhood of skinny stay-at-home moms who work out all day. I am the token fat chick. Yesterday at the pool I actually got excited (this is so awful) when a woman larger than me walked by. Inside I was doing a little victory lap that I wasn't the fattest one there anymore. So sad.

The "fattest woman" inventory is indeed sad.  But it is part of the reality of being morbidly obese.

I've been the fattest woman at a wedding - and the most inappropriately dressed, because I couldn't find anything to fit.

I've been the fattest woman at work and it has compromised my credibility - it's very hard for me to give myself credit for things I do even now.

As the fattest woman at social functions, I became a master of secretly eating more than anyone else, while in plain sight! A small plate, a few munches while walking by the table, another plate while standing in a different part of the room....

There are a lot of sad, sad realities of life when we are obese. If we are able, we just adjust to them and pretend they don't bother us. For me, it bothers me more now that I have lost weight.

At 13 (14?) weeks out, and 'only' 42 pounds down, I can tell a huge difference in my quality of life.  Pre-op, I was only able to take the stairs one at a time, with the right leg first, both up and down.  It took forever to climb stairs, let alone take out the trash or go to the laundry room.  Last week, I took a mini-hike in my neighborhood to find the river that I live near.  I had to climb a big hill to get over the levee, and then, walk through uneven terrain to find it, but I did it without any trouble.  Just those two things alone make it worthwhile.  I'd be pizzled if I were done losing at only 42 pounds, but I'm sure I'm just a slower loser than others.  And that's OK!

This site should give out Guru/Veteran STAMPS on profiles. Your posts just uplift me.

Thanks, Nik.  I needed that.

Thanks Nik. I so very needed to read this post. i hav been a little down on my self and so worried that I won't lose as much as I need to lose . I have been stuck ina stall it seems forever . You made me see the quality that I have gained and the small nsv that occur everyday. thank you for the words that boosted my motivation and stenghthen my  drive to live life to the fullest!!  God bless you and your words.