I need a new life

My goodness - wish I could be "little miss sunshine", but the dark cloud has been over me too.  I do think it is temporary and a result of recent "traumatic/painful" surgery and the resulting open wound and knowing the slow process of healing.

Sorry you (all of you/us) are going through this.  I am working "overtime" on positive affirmations, healthy eating, generous sleep, and knitting like a feind!!

I know that OH isn't as appealing as it used to be.  It seems most posts are "pre-ops and newbies" and I find it hard to relate or get tired of saying the same things over and over.  I miss those that are further out and realize that I am now "further out" as compared to where I was 2-3 years ago.

Where do the RNY vets go to get support?  I still attend my local support group - but am now one of the few vets attending.

I will include all of you in my prayers.  One thing I know - when you find yourself in a HOLE - stop digging!

I've tried in earnest to get us to post more on the grads board. I think it's the "retirement home" mentality. The newbies make us feel young at pouch...

Penny,

The "vet" situation has been discussed before amongst a group of my WLS friends.  As new post-ops there is a LOT of information available to them (from OH, the vets, other WLS sites) to help them along the path.

I'm not sure exactly what the vets need but I do believe we need something different to help us maintain, lose regain, incentive to keep on, keep'n on. 

I know the Texas OH Convention last year had a grad panel, I didn't get to attend but we made our voices heard to Kim that "we" need something.  I do read the grad board here on OH but there isn't much posted, mostly what the menu for the day is.  Not a bad idea but that isn't what some of us need/want.  We can cheer on those struggling with regain (and do) yet again it doesn't apply to many of us either on staying focused and remaining optimistic about our lives as a post-op.

There definitely is a VOID for vets.

Our local support group ended recently (but it was almost all newbies anyway)... and many of the people who had surgery around the time I did or within a year of me are now out of state... so I definitely DO feel that void (but didn't fully realize it until you brought it up). 

I do sometimes hesitate to post particular things here because the vast majority of people do seem to be pre-ops or less than a year out these days... and the difference in perspective between 4 months out and 4 years out can be like night and day... and it's hard to put up a post with an "only those 2 years out"  request on it because some people's feelings get hurt... but sometimes if you don't ask for only replies from other vets, the post ends up taking an entirely different direction than intended because of that difference in perspective. (I hope that all made sense!)  The couple of times I have posted on the "grads" forum, though, the silence was deafening, LOL.

So now I'm wondering how much it would help to be able to voice some of the weight/food/post-op life/etc. things that I have NOT posted about...  a way to "chip away" at things as one of the other respondents said...  because, as anyone more than 2 years out knows, the journey is NOT over once the weight loss stops...

Lora

You know what..I don't care if what I say scares/offends/bothers new surgery patients. This is my board as much as theirs. I feel like I need to be honest about what's happening in my life. I'm grateful for veterans before me that showed me what it was like in the "after" world.
While early post op is difficult and there is a huge learning curve, I do think its the long term living that's the big thing. How do we, as formely morbidly obese people live in this world? How do you deal with feelings? What about long term physical complications? How do we learn to BE in this body? Big stuff I think.
Deb T.

Yes, you're right, of course...  it doesn't matter HOW we navigate that first year or so if we cannot make our lives "work" with these bodies afterward.  I just get weary (and EASILY so when I already feel like this) of the occasional stones thrown at vets for being insensitive/judgmental/unsupportive/etc.

Lora

Just want you to know that you are an inspiration to me....I check into this forum almost daily and I occasionally post something, but there are a few people who always say something that I need to hear or that makes total sense...You are one of these people!!  Wasn't going to read this post until I saw that it was from you.   I always read what you post.  Hang in there...you are worth more than you think to a lot of people!!

Hey Lora, I do appreciate all the words of wisdom you offer to us all. I am sorry you aren't feeling better right now but I am certain this will pass in time and you WILL feel better.  You are one smart lady and seems that maybe your well needs filling.  I am glad you posted what you are feeling here and I am very glad you have that contract for safety. 

Do what you can to relieve your stressors, they can really take a toll on you as you well know.  It sounds like your job is really draining you of energy and I haven't a clue why they could make you feel incompetent but you are not!!!  Do what you have to do to fill your well!!  You are very important and you deserve the BEST!!! 

It is so hard when it all comes at you at once and from various sources. Just chip away at those stressors and you will come back to normal.  Give your dogs some hugs and they do hug back!!!   I don't have any magic words but I hope all of us have helped is some way.

OOOOOOooo.... lightening storm right now!!! I better log off!!

             

Hang in there and when you get to the end of the rope... tie a knot and HANG ON!!!! :)

Thanks for sharing your story, Lora. I think too many people here believe that once they lose the weight, their lives will be perfect. It's important that people hear the good, the bad, and the ugly. I, too, was in a dark place not too long ago, but lately the clouds have lifted and things are pretty good for me right now. I was trying to post a reply to Nik's perfect day post and all of mine are pretty darn good right now. I don't know that I'd change a thing.

Have you thought of volunteering somewhere? Maybe a Children's Hospital? I know you have so much to offer and maybe if you were helping other people you would get your mind off your troubles. Just a suggestion. 

Keep the faith. Things will get better!

Laura

Lora, clinical depression is the worst....you just feel stuck and that is a hard place to be.  I know with the added PTSD, that also makes things even more difficult.  But remember, you have so many healthy tools in your pocket.  You give so much to this board and in your profession.  One of the things I try to recall when life feels overwhelming is that this feeling won't last and you WILL get better.  Hang on, reach out when you need it (especially if you are having SI) and please know that you are am amazing person and a true gift to others.



Blessings to you!!!!