now my kids don't want me to have surgery

i was talking with my daughters age 13 and 17 about possible wls....they both said they were against it. why?
1. it's dumb lol
2. it's unnatural
3. they would look at me differently than if i did it "naturally"...my oldest actually said she'd be PROUD of me if i did it naturally.
4. they don't want me to have saggy skin
5. they say i'm not fat even though i have 100 pounds to lose

yet last night i sat in a plastic lawn chair and cracked it. i wanted to be angry at them...how selfish! lol i gained weight and got stretch marks and saggy belly flaps caryying them plus another sister and brother...why shouldn't i deserve to be happy? i think they think i'm goin to turn into a different person? i'm disappointed....

Since when did you let your children tell you what to do? You are the mom, it's the other way around.  It's your body and you have to do what's right for you. If it was that easy to do it "naturally" wouldn't it have been done by all of us? If you have a way of helping you for the better, go for it! 

If you want the support of your children. try taking them to a support group or to your dr appointment but seriously, it doesn't matter if they agree or not, you have to do this for YOU. YOU are a person with feelings, you are the MOM, and if you want a kick start to a happy healthier life than your first step is to stand up and say, I deserve to be healthy, and HAPPY!

Maybe hey're really worried about you dying but couldn't bring themselves to tell you that. #1 and 2 are silly. #3 is a moot point.  If you could lose it wiothout surgery, you would have done it by now.  And I think the odds of losing it and keeping it off are maybe 5%.  #4 You'll have saggy skin regardless of how you lose weight. #5 is them being sweet. You have great kids and you need to be around to watch them and your grandkids grow up. Take care of YOU!!

One of my reasons for haivng surgery, after wanting to be healthy for my kids, was so that they were not made fun of for having a fat mom (the fattest mom of their classmates). Kids are so cruel and I did not want them to suffer because of my weight.

Laura

I am with Laura. I too did this for my son, so that he could grow up with me and so that I wouldn't die of a heart attack or diabetes.  I did it for him, so that his buddies won't have a chance to call him the kid with the fat mom. So that he has a chance of growing up in a healthy home and not fixated on food. You will do it so that your daughters can respect you for making a difficult choice, for having the courage to take on your challenges and rise to meet them, and so that your daughters can themselves have a positive body image and learn to be healthy people with you as an example.

You are in charge.

Wishing you good luck with the surgery and a speedy recovery!

Well, it's a good thing they're not the grown-ups! I also had about 100 pounds to lose, and my kids were also nervous about me having the surgery. Fortunately they're younger than yours, so they're easier to overrule. :)

This is not their decision to make. You can just tell them that straight out. And you probably already know that very few people can lose 100 pounds "naturally" and keep it off. I certainly couldn't; I tried for 20 years and ended up bigger than ever. I've lost about 2/3 of the weight I'd like to lose, and I can tell you, if you already have saggy skin from pregnancy, and you have 100 pounds to lose, it's really not going to get worse with weight loss. My "post-prego pouch" is much less noticeable now than it was when I was at my top weight. I'm nearly to the point where I can tuck in my shirt and it won't show. My arms aren't too bad at all, and any boobage issues are easily solved with a good bra.

Good luck! Your girls will eventually come around; when they see your progress, they'll know you made the right decision.

first of all, thanks to all of you for the pep talk. i suppose i just assumed they'd be on my side and go along with me. y'all are absolutely right...it isn't their choice and i'm certainly not doing it for vain reasons. i brought the issue up again and my 13yo brought up something that i think is the real reason she is against it...she thinks i'm going to evolve into someone else..a person she won't recognize inside as well as on the outside. perhaps i'm scared of that too.

I have only lost half my weight; but I can tell you that WLS is the best thing I have EVER done for myself - and I spent the last 15 plus years doing everything for my kids, my husband, and my boss...in that order....and it didn't buy me anything but stress and weight. I don't regret it, I've always wanted to be a mom and a good one, but you lose yourself in that scenario at times.

Losing weight and having the surgery MAY change you but mostly for the better. I'm just a happier version of me right now, and I've gotten so much better at not sweating the small stuff. It helps with your outlook on life and your attitude.

Kids don't and can't understand. Just like people who haven't been there don't. My husband and kids were vehemently against the surgery but none of them have ever been fat or struggled with food. They all agree now that I am happier, healthier, and I feel like I treat everyone SO much better because I feel better about myself!

@scarlett_s what you said..said it best. anyone who hasn't struggled with food and weight...and i mean extreme weight issues will not understand. i sat down and made a list from when i was about 16 or 17 to now..and i'm 36, of all the diets or programs i had tried. It was sad. On one hand i'm very glad my children don't have these issues...or at least..not yet and the other hand i just with that they supported me..maybe not understood just supported me.

i think what i'm coming to realize is that it's okay for me to make this decision based on what i want and need not on what THEY want or need from me or for me.

dont be afraid of change , if its good changes. other than that , if your already a good mom .. then dont ever change for anybody or anything. the wls enough is a change . just make life happen, be happy and no matter what , go on with your happy self. u can not make a decision of any kind if you just wait on everyone elses approval.
if you think wls will make you a better person, then you have nothing to worry about . either way , i wish you great happiness.

you are right...it's a decision that isn't going to make itself. lol
i was starting to think that perhaps i made the wrong choice...then i opened a book and read the following statement directly in regards to fear...

"If our instincts and path have led us there, it's where we need to be".

how cool is that?!?!?

thanks to all of you guys..really