wls seminar made me lose my appetite

It could be a greiving process because things from this point forward (especially after surgery) will never be the same. You will go thru more than 1 greiving period. I had mine before surgery when I was on the liquid diet (because EVERYTHING looked so good) and you know the old addage the more you can't have it the more you want it. I remember when I came home from the hospital seeing a commercial on TV for the endless shrimp fest at Red Lobster. I would have to literally turn off the tv when it came on. Granted I can have shrimp now but, the way RL offers it would not be good for me (too much fat). You will go through a gammett (sp?) of emotions due to the WL. I always compared it to an addiction (i.e drugs, alcohol etc) I always looked at like it as a carb addiction. Before surgery I never in million years would've thought carb addiction was even possible.

Trust me it will get easier as you go along though. Just stay focused the "big picture" (end result)

Lori

oh yes...addiction can be to anything including carbs which essentially is a sugar addiction. i feel ya on that one. my thing is i don't ever feel full. to have that feeling would be something new to me. that is one of my biggest fears...that it wouldn't work for me.

 I don't think I cried after the seminar, but I know I broke down in tears several times leading up the surgery. I cried for what could be and I cried for what I was and, at times, because I was scared of the surgery.

Finally, I came to conclussion that this was a life saving surgery for me and that it would help me a great deal. I finally stopped being scared of the surgery and stated being scared of not having the surgery. 

i know i'm not scared of the surgery. labor and delivery scared me more and i've had worse surgery. i don't think scared is what i am although i cried for the exact same reasons....yep.

I must say thatbi have cried but not until just recently. I have cried because I am so happy for what I have done. I had to wait 6 months for my insurance approval I did cry then because I thought this would never happen. I cannot believe how happy this has made me. To be able to walk in any store and grab something off the rack. To be able to bend over and paint my toenails. To sit down on the floor and then just hop up. To go sit in a chair with arms in a waiting room and not worry if I will fit in it. To put on a belt that fits around my waist. To eat a few bites of something and be satisfied. To be in a room of people and not think I am the biggest person here. To buy a large top and not a 3x. I think I am going to cry now. I hope you will be this happy and I wish you tears of joy. There is so much more.

yes...thank you! lol i suppose i'd like to not be taken aback by catching my reflection and being in denial about just how bad i look and feel. maybe that's why i haven't FELT...i've been in denial about just who i am right now at 238 pounds. I know exactly how and why i got here i just haven't been too honest with myself and allowed myself to forgive myself, accept myself and then move on. i think that may be important or i may get stuck in fat mode no matter what weight i'm at. does that make sense?     

i notice that you mentioned Your mom not reacting when you told her you were going to have this surgery,that may be a part of your crying,, my family would never understand me having this surgery so i haven't told anyone,, it does make me want to cry at times not having that support,,so i know where your coming from on that,my surgery is on the 16th,I'm so glad i found this site the people here are so cool,,it's a great place to reach out. good luck on yours.

you know what my plan was going to be? to pin a note on the inside of my hospital gown that said something like..my mom doesn't know i'm here...please call her and let her know what's going on. LOL. she'd probably have a reaction then, huh?  for example father's day we are having a turkey dinner and i said oh YAY i get to have turkey dinner with everything before surgery....nothing...no response...i could have said i was buying wall paper...and she promptly changed the subject to something else. it's her way. i recently told her a HUGE secret of mine that i've carried since childhood and her reaction was to stand up and start spraying febreeze everywhere and ignore me. i suppose i just needed to tel her and get it over with. maybe part of me was hoping for a hug and a typical happy mom supportive reaction?

so your surgery is right around the corner! wow. congrats! did you know right away that you wanted to do it or did you need time to sort things out? i'm glad i found this site too. i want to document everything in a journal and on my youtube channel. look at how many of us are struggling with the very same things. it is amazing....

i just wanted to end on a positve note...read this on my fb walll and i had to share...

We don't have to let our past hijack our present & our future. The emotional wounds of childhood which create self-criticism & self-doubt can be healed & released. When we face the truth about ourselves & our lives with ruthless honesty & great compassion; when we grieve our losses & forgive ourselves, we'll be able to put the past behind us, engage fully in the present & build a better future.