completely OT - but need some support

It does feel like being betrayed by my brain.  And I always considered myself to be a pretty intelligent person.  Feeling like that is gone is devastating.

Odd are,it's not gone, just "resting" for awhile.

I can't offer anything concrete, because I deal with these issues myself (I didn't have ECT - they are a result of long term use of a particular psych drug that has memory loss as a side effect.) I agree with you, it is awful. I just keep holding on to the fact that it may/does get better. But it IS very depressing when my daughter comes up to me and says stuff like "Mom, when you don't remember what I told you yesterday about XYZ, I feel like you're not listening because you don't love me." She knows I have this issue, but at 15, doesn't really understand.

I have taken to writing everything down when I think/hear about it. I always have directions with me, always have a grocery list, a list for the day, a list for the month, etc. Appts are put on one specific calender in the kitchen as soon as I even think they are a possibility or as soon as I hear of them.

Establishing a routine has also helped me greatly. I get up at the same time everyday, whether I want to or not, and I've forced myself to develop a certain order for each day which also helps.

I so totally understand your frustration and fear. I too went and got tested for dementia, like the other poster, because I was so afraid I had it (I don't). I will literally walk into another room and forget why I came there. I have to put my keys in one specific place or they are lost for days. I've lost cell phones and left $50 in the cash return at the grocery store self checkout. All of this stuff is really, really scary and frustrating.

All I can say is be good to yourself and like one of the other posters mentioned, learn to work around your present limitations as much as you can. Hopefully they are temporary.

Take Care Kelly. Thanks for all you do here, in spite of what you are going through. You are an incredible resource.

I have been through ECT and can assure you that your writing ability and short term memory WILL RETURN. There are pieces still missing for me, but I am able to function and do my job, etc.

I was like you though. I couldn't remember names, dates, things I'd just been told, medicine...really couldn't hold much in short term memory at all. Try to read or write? Forget about it!

It gets better, Kelly.