Bad Therapist Thread (no disrespect to the good ones!!)

Tazz- You need to tell him that you need a referral. If his feelings get hurt, he will find a way to deal.

Just tell him that for whatever reason, you are not able to open up to him, and you feel it might benefit you to try talking to someone else.

Please keep us posted.... if you continue to waste your time with someone who is not helping you, then you are just going to "hate yourself more" for not doing the right thing by YOU!

It's not that simple... but at the same time, it is that simple!!!!! Take a deep breath and DO IT!!!

I was sexually assaulted when I was 15. The resulting media circus, being a witness in a court trial, international notoreity (it was a HUGE thing at the time, reported in ALL international newspapers, because there were MANY underage people involved).

The state paid for me to get therapy, but between the court trial, and my first therapy session my brother died. At my first therapy session, the only thing I could talk about was the death of my brother (I was home watching him - responsible for him - when he died). The state therapist declared that I did not need therapy for the assault, and so I only ever had the one visit.

Oh Lithia... you too??

No wonder we have transfer addictions.... some of us (so many who have posted on this thread) have been to hell and back.

Can you even imagine meeting a 15 year old girl who had been sexually assaulted AND just lost a sibling... and come to the conclusion that they do not require help??

YIKES!

Wow.  I was sexually assaulted at 15, too.  I just realized that is probably why I freaked out when each of my girls turned 15.  the youngest one is 15 now (only for a few more weeks, thank God) and I can barely stand to let her out of my sight.  Unfortunately I have instilled many of my fears on her and instead of being a self confident young woman she is like I am, full of fear of people and what they may do to you.
I never got help either.  My mother, *****fused to pick me up that night when I called for a ride and told me to hitchhike home, which I did, which lead to the assault, told me it was my own fault and to never talk about it again, so I didn't.  Nice memory to have of my recently deceased mother, huh?
That is when I seriously started using drugs, along with food, to deal with things.
I thought I had worked all that out after I became an adult and was diagnosed with PTSD but I guess it never goes away.

My first memories are of being my brother's sexual experimentation project (7yrs older than me). I was SA'd by 2 cousins and my dad. My one cousin abused me from age 10-14. One of his favorite things was to grip my arms, stare into me with those cold eyes and say "You gonna cry for me?".... I made up my mind if I could keep at least that pleasure from him I would never cry again.
Fast forward 15yrs and I am in deep, dark depression. I started counseling and became very dependent on the safety I found in her office. Over the course of 3 years she told me no less than a dozen times that if I wasn't willing to cry over what happened then she couldn't help me anymore, she would have to terminate sessions. As time went on, she used the "terminate sessions" threat for everything- if I didn't invite my sister to my sessions, if I didn't stand in the office parking lot and scream, etc . She moved away and now I have the #1 best counselor ever - and , gasp, it's a guy and he doesn't care if I cry or not(not that he doesn't care if I cry, I just don't HAVE to), as long as I know I have the right to.

I understand that she wanted to get to that deep spot where pain is stored and the conscious mind can't see it .... but bullying it out of you would be considered a "not highly effective technique"!!!

I am so very happy that you are in good hands now...

I hope you know 100% that you did NOT deserve what you endured.

My therapist of 2 years... she just listens.  I kept showing up week after week in the first year, wanting homework, wanting to understand the program.  My focus has shifted from out there, to in here - and there is never shortage of stuff to dig through.  I'm also in a support group for people with depression.  It is kinda funny that it is very hard for each of us to remember what is going on with the other person - the "all about me" effect of depresssion.

On a hopeful note, I've been reading much about anti-depressants and medication in general, and about neuroplasticity - the ability of the brain to learn new ways of coping.  I think the field of psychiatry/psychotherapy is experiencing some hugh shifts.

It is hard to find a good, professional therapist.  Very hard work when you're feeling so crappy in the first place. 

One thing my therapist recently offered that I found useful... people with alchohol addiction, or narcotics, or gambling etc - their addiction is shame based and all about behaving badly.  Food addiction on the other hand, is more about being shot through with self-loathing for even existing - shame based as well.  That was just an observation of hers.  It hit home for me.

Some of these stories shock and sadden me.  When I was in private practice, I did an initial nsession at no charge, so the clients and I would have an opportunity to see if we were a fit.  Sometimes we weren't, although usually I was the one to identify that I was not the best fit for the client and made a referral.  I also told clients when I felt we had accomplished the stated goals, we discussed and either set new goals, or started the termination process.  Part of my initial session with clients was to educate them on how to select a good therapist and how important it was that they feel comfortable with the therapist.  I also encouraged them to ask questions about education and experience.  Unfortunately, clients come to a therapist when they are hurting and vulnerable, the responsibility rests on the therapists shoulders to behave in an ethical and responsible manner.  I am sorry to all of you who have had "bad therapy" experiences.