Us vs. Non-ops...we're not so different after all

I  had this REALLY unfortunate misconception coming into my life as a post-op. I thought that by virtue of the fact that I’d had WLS, I would have some magical and special powers over food and eating that the non-op world (especially other obese people) simply would not have.

This, along with a lot of my early beliefs, proved VERY untrue.

 

The reality is that there are some ways that our behaviors and approaches to food are very different. But far more often, I find, as we get further out…we are not so different from non-ops in quite a few ways. I don’t know about you, but this initially freaked me out. Here are some examples:

 

I don’t eat much at a time. Neither do a lot of non-ops.

 

The way this plays out (that freaks me out) is that I can be at a meal with a non-op and actually end up eating MORE than them. Strange but true. And in my head I just KNOW they are looking at me thinking I am a glutton. It helps to remind myself that the sum total of what I eat is never more than a healthy sized portion and that we each eat differently. I find that naturally skinny beyotches (erm…women) are some of the biggest culprits of the “bird eating" phenomenon. Their little flat tummies can’t hold much at a time. But I’ve observed them. They eat very frequently. I’ve observed their grazing. In the end, rest assured that they probably consume more calories than you even if you can eat more in a particular sitting than they can.

 

After a good meal I can go HOURS without getting hungry again. So can a lot of non-ops.

 

And sometimes they’ve out waited me! For this, too, I needed a bit of a reality check. For me to get all my calories and protein for a day, I had to train my body to eat 6-7 times a day. If I don’t do that, I don’t get what I need. Plus the reality is that eating less food means it doesn’t take as long for my little pouch to empty out versus someone who ate way more than I did. And much as I can eat sometimes, a good meal for me is a laughable snack for some of my non-op friends. So it’s important to keep a sense of reality about this whole thing.

 

One place where our thinking is DIFFERENT that freaks me out.

 

I think about food a LOT. Non-ops don’t (seem to).

 

For this I had to think back to pre-surgery days. I didn’t think about food a lot either. And that was a bad thing.

 

I didn’t think about what I was putting in my body. I just ate it. Ew!

 

Secondly, when space in the pouch is at a premium your priorities change. I want to make sure my meals are protein forward and have a good balance of nutrients but I also want to make sure I enjoy my food. Because the reality is after a good meal I am not going to eat anything else for a very long time. A sucky meal for us can be devastating because we don’t get as much eating interaction as non-ops. While they can eat and eat and eat much of the time if they want, we simply cannot (well…on most days of the month anyway). So, yes, we think about food a lot. And they don’t seem to. But our mindfulness is part of our success. It’s what I’d call a “necessary evil."

 

Anyway, just some thoughts on a Thursday. I know you guys probably think I go on and on about these things but the bottom line is whether you acknowledge it or not, anything in life is about 10% reality and 90% the story we tell ourselves about our reality. The story you tell yourself about your new lifestyle is important.

 

If you tell yourself that because you aren’t so different from a non-op, you will fail, that will become a self fulfilling prophecy. If you tell yourself there are reasons why it may appear that you are similar to a non-op but that you are still doing ok…that’s  a different story, isn’t it?

 

I love your posts!
I was just on vacation with a friend and oh how true!  I think about food all the time, but not as far as what is going to taste good, etc, but what is giong to go down smoothly and sit well and what is going to give the most protein for the buck!

 Love your posts they always seem to help when im having a day where im like BLAH!!!! Thank you!!

Bingo!

I work with a group of young, athletic women (I'm old enough to be the mother of most of them, all but 2 are named Jennifer, and all but 1 is blonde. Save me!!!!).

They all were told about my surgery as soon as I started the process because my being out for tests and surgery and check ups would impact our scheduling, which is sometimes done 6 months out.

They have all be FABULOUS. One of the things I love about them is that when we bring foods in, I can say to any of them "How much of this would you want?" and "How much of this would you eat?" and get their answers. It's really helped me to understand the eating patterns of healthy people, rather than the disordered eating I did exhibit pre-op. Yeah, there are days that any one of them will eat something she normally wouldn't, or an amount she normally wouldn't, but there too NONE of them beats herself up, she just keeps things in check the next time.

It's kind of funny to think of these younger women as being role models, but they are great.

Yeap. Well said.
Also - the Non-ops don't need to eat as often as we do. That ****** me off.  If I don't eat every 3-4 hrs I get the sahkes. Non-ops can go on without food for 8 hrs and are fine.  Or they can grab a snack - any snack, while I have to make that I can eat things when I go out.
They do not need to carry food with them. I do
They can live on salads for a few days and be fine.. I can't
They do not need to make sure they have the vitamins with them.. I do..
They can drink when they want to - I can't, need to wait at least 30 min after a meal, any meal.

Please!  Go on!  I enjoy reading all your posts.  If nothing else, they get me to thinking!  But, most often, they are full of information that, if used properly, can only benefit me.  Thank you for being here and for supporting us new people every step of the way.  I look forward to your insight daily!

Good Stuff as Always!! Thanks Nik!!

Huggles!!
~Sarah~

Sorry but what is non-ops

Pre-ops are people who are awaiting surgery
Post-ops are people who have had surgery
Non-ops are people not planning to have surgery (the regular stomach people)

"regular stomach people" ....for some reason this cracked me up!  I say it all the time, but reading it struck me really funny!