Horrid day yesterday (food and otherwise) need some encouragement for today

Be proud that you have over come what you have and that you have accomplished everything you have ...I hope this day gets better for you

 ::big Hugs:: and Happy Easter! You are an inspiration to ALL of us newbies and I want to say I am so sorry about has happened to you and I can tell you are a strong woman and WILL get through this!!! I know it seems as though you are falling off the wagon but it's just being human! We are all here for you and I hope  you start to have a better day!! =)

I'm sorry to hear that this awful anniversary i****ting you so hard. One thing you need to remember is that you're not hiding from how you're feeling, you're not in denial that your eating is feeling out of control. Knowing how huge a role denial has played in my own MO struggle, I think the fact that you're aware of what's going on is important.

My only advice would be to distract yourself. Get outside for a walk, go to the mall, find something that can keep your hands and mind occupied (knitting, painting, gardening).

Caroline

 Lora,
Please be gentle with yourself! You're going through some difficult stuff and it's wonderful that you'd prepared yourself for yesterday. It also sounds like you learned a powerful lesson in how hard old habits can hit..... You really are a valuable person (and not just on this forum!) so it pains me to hear you in pain.
Just because you recognize the slippery slope doesn't mean you'll go down it. You'll come to the moment where you snap back into your healthy patterns and be proud of how much you'd overcome. You can do it!!!
- Nicole

Thank you so much to everyone for the support.  I very much appreciate the kind and encouraging responses. 

I am having a turkey, cheese, lettuce, and tomato "roll up" (a wrap using the lettuce in place of a tortilla) and some fresh strawberries for lunch, so at least I am "back on track" as far as my eating (so far, anyway!).

Lora

Oh, I'm sorry you're going through this.  I hate to hear your therapist is retiring.  Mine retired a year ago and I still haven't found a good replacement.

One thing that helps me, and I'm sure you already  know this, is to try to remember that feelings are not facts.  It FEELS like everything is in jeopardy right now.... that doesn't mean it really is.  And yesterday FELT a lot like the day a few years ago when you were assaulted, and you know that's normal for anniversaries to be hard, but it just felt a lot a like - that doesn't mean it really was a lot a like.

I wish I knew something really helpful to say and I don't, but I'm thinking good thoughts for you and I'm here if you want to talk.

Lora - sorry you are having a bad time.  You know that feelings don't = truth.  You may have some negative feelings going on = but truth is: you are in control, you have overcome may obstacles, you are strong.

I try to think on positive things.  It is so easy to get into a "pit".  Just make sure you are not digging your hole deeper.

I don't know what works for you - but I'm sure  you know how to climb out of this pit.

Do whatever it takes - you are so worth it.  You are loved - we care about you.  Be strong.

Hi Laura... ((( HUGS))) It is tough. One day at a time.  I understand.

But what happened to you happened in the past.  As dramatic as it was you need to move forward.  Allowing that past experience dictate what you eat - means that you allow it to control the rest of your life.

Do you have a good friend you can call and go to see?  just because? And maybe next year you will plan to be with someone for 2-3 days around that time? 
Something like that helped me a lot.  Not being by myself on anniversary of something like that helped me to deal with the emotions...

((( HUGS ))).. BTW: if you have no-one. - either find some friends locally - or - come visit me next year.  We will cry and laugh together... my cat will be all over you - demanding attention... so you will have no time to thing about past.... or we may just talk about it... and cry together...

Lora... I'm so sorry you have to relive this year after year.  That must be horrible... and I can totally understand how that wreaks havoc on your piece of mind and how it makes you feel out of control.  It's a vicious cycle...

However, while I don't know you personally, I know you enough from your posts to know that you are a strong, smart and compassionate woman.  You may feel weakened in your resolve and ability to handle this right now, but I have total faith in you.  You will overcome...

You have come SO far on your journey!  Everyone experiences hiccups and bad times, but the measure of a person is how they respond to adversity.  You already know that it's completely natural to fall off the wagon from time to tim (so to speak), but you also know that in short order your new lifestyle and programmed behaviors will kick in.  You've come too far and worked too hard to let this beat you!

So you're having a down moment now... own it, live it, but then move on.  Tomorrow's a new day, with new opportunities to pick yourself back up and move past the bad days.  I wish I could take this yearly occurance off your internal calendar, but of course I cannot.  My wish for you is that each year you handle it the best way you know how (pamper yourself as you've done!), but then move on and don't let it consume any more of your life and piece of mind.  Refuse to give it any more power over you than it already has.

Until you can be strong for yourself, you know we'll always be strong for you!  You can always lean on everyone here...

My best to you....


tori

Hugs Lora!

You are a strong woman and an inspiration to many of us. 

Stacey