Well folks, it looks like I'm moving...

One way or another I must part ways with this house I've lived in nearly 13 years.

Sigh...

It's weird because the ONLY thing holding me here is tradition. It's sort of a crappy house. It doesn't look very nice (and I can't afford to fix it up). Something is ALWAYS breaking. For what I pay I could be living in a house I would not cringe to invite someone over to.

But it's also in "my neighborhood." Baltimore is a city of neighborhoods and if you grew up in a neighborhood that's a VERY big part of your identity. And I know the people on my block and they know me. They accept my UPS when I'm not home and looked after my kids for afternoons when I had to go grocery shopping. And there's the neighborhood street festival every year and my potted plants and...just so many memories.

But I know this has to happen. I know it. I'm posting this here because I know me. I am NOT good with transitions. I hold onto situations, kicking and screaming, until the last hope is gone. I NEED to push myself into this transition. But I'm sort of scared.

The mortgage company sent me a note the other day. I have been paying what I can pay for quite some time now (hey, they don't care about me, so why should I starve for them?), demanding that I bring my loan up to current in 14 days. It's more money than I have and honestly, for this house...I don't really want to fight for it anymore. It's like having the corpse of your loved one parked in your living room for years. It's not a beautiful relationship anymore. It's very,very distorted.

I know if I don't pay it we'll go into foreclosure. What I don't know is what happens next or who I should call about it. From you all's good advice last time it seems like foreclosure might be the only way to get out of this damn house. Nobody wants to buy it (the market is really bad right now), not even in a short sale. I have a few neighbors with nice houses who tried to short sell and ended up renting out their houses.

Anyway, I'm rambling. So I think it's partially fear of the unknown. I'm going to research some today to see what happens during a foreclosure. But somehow I feel like this is how it needs to happen anyway. I feel sort of like a Phoenix preparing to burst into flames. Somehow I always knew this would happen and there is re-birth and recovery on the other side. I just have to be brave and GET there.

Any advice, encouragine/admonishing words are welcome and appreciated. Once again, tapping my feelings out here as opposed to munching on them.

Sorry to hear you are having to go through this.  I have never had the "neighborhood" experience you have had, but have had good friends who did, and I always envied them that... a much different experience than a suburban street where you know very little about your neighbors and only communicate breifly over the fences in the summer when everyone is out working in the yard or playing with dogs/kids.  I can see why it would be SO hard to leave that.

For more and more people, sadly, the only way out IS to allow foreclosure.  Based on friends/clients who have found themselves in the same situation, I can tell you that the best thing they did (or one of the things they WISHED they had done) was to just stop paying the mortgage entirely once the handwriting was on the wall.  Not a penny, no matter how much the bank screams.  Keep that money for other necessities (food, moving expenses, apartment deposit, etc.)!

Hang in there, my friend.

Lora

Nic I just saw an item in the news yesterday that banks are now going after former owners of short sale properties to recover the difference - they still consider that an amount "owed."

I do know that foreclosure takes a while, so it's not as if you will be moving tomorrow. This gives you time and time is on your side. You will be able to...
....figure out where you want to live. City or somewhere else?
....research schools.
....get the girls ready for a transition.
....clean house and make some mega donations to goodwill.
....have the girls clean and donate outgrown toys and clothing.
....Start rounding up boxes and packing ahead. Honestly? My DH is a great source of boxes from his business and I would bring you a car load. It is EASY for him to kick out 100 boxes in a day. We could meet halfway and I'd buy you lunch.

Take care. Journal. Plan.

Lynn
 

I am sorry you are going through this Nik.  We all know or have heard of someone going through the same in this horribly economy.  It just stinks to see bad things happen to good people. 
I have to agree with Lora and don't pay another penny since you are leaving anyways.  It is not like it will help. 
I love your attitude about the entire thing and that is what will sustain in forever in life.  It sucks but it is what it is and there could be a great rainbow on the other side.  Life may be more wonderful for you in the new place, I am sure it will be. 
I was lucky enough to grow up in a neighborhood like yours.  Wow what amazing memories and what a great childhood it was.  The good thing is you can always go visit and take the time to do so.  I am sure everyone there would love it if you came back when they have their "street festival" so make sure you go. 
Chin up and know that you are turning a page in your life and how exciting that can be to see what life offers you next.  I have been turning pages for the last 1 1/2 yrs and so far I am happy and excited to see what is on the next one.  I should mention even afraid going in so far it has all been good.

Alana

I am not sure if this is true in b'more but here in MN some banks will give you money to move if you turn in your keys!!! My dad was in the same boat and didnt qualify for a reverse mortgage because he was current with his payments so he walked away from the house the bank called him and actually gave him a check for about $700.00

Nik, my husband works in Foreclosure with JP Morgan.  He said you can apply for a loan modification if you haven't already, depending on the lender.   He said if you are ready for it to be over you can do a short sale or a deed in lieu, but you won't get the full amount for the house that you owe.  If you need anything or have any questions I can relay them to him.  Depending on the investor you can get incentives for doing a short sale, something like up to $1500 cash.  

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  I can't imagine how tough this is for you.  You are a strong woman though and I have faith that you will get through this. 

Unfortunately the mortgage company will only do a series of short term modifications. Each time they say it's the last one but they won't permanently modify my loan and they say they don't do re-fi's.

I am part of a class action suit against the company because when I got the damn loan I TOLD them the payment wasn't sustainable. I said I could only really stay above water with this payment about 6 mos before I had to start to rely on credit to get by. But at the time my kitchen was in dangerous condition and needed to be renovated and I needed the cash out of my house to do it. Several loan officers told me if I paid on time for 6 mos I could apply to refinance the loan to a lower interest rate. After I got the loan, they said this has never been their policy. Come to find out I'm not the only victim of the "bait and switch."

My realtor told me there is a chance I'd have to pay some significant money if I did a short sale (and I truly don't have it. This loan has burned through my emergency savings and I am charged to the hilt for hustling to pay this loan) so I'm letting them have their damn house. I honestly think that even though it will mess up my credit for a while (which is already jacked) foreclosure will have the best outcome. I think.

Looking at what's available I'm kind of excited. Right now I have many inconveniences. I have no washer/dryer (no hook up) so I have to use a laundromat. I have very little closet space and there's only technically 2 bedrooms. Sigh...I think I'm going to go the foreclosure route especially since houses here are NOT moving. But I'm still thinking on it. I'll let you know of any questions that come up. Thank you for your generous offer to pass them along.

It sounds like you are making the only choice you can.  It's a shame that your mortgage company takes advantage of people.  I hope the class action lawsuit is successful.  Will you be able to find somewheere to rent with your credit?  I know most landlords use credit to determine if they will rent to people.  Stop paying anything and get your ducks in a row.  Research where you can live the cheapest until you get back on your feet.

My mom grew up in Baltimore (I forget what area).  We used to visit there alot until my grandparents died and my aunt sold their house.  I miss going there.

Laura

Start looking for some affordable renting places in your area or close by. Tell people - they know it anyway - that your were taken advantage off by the bank and ask them if they know about any rental place - so you can stay in the area. You never know, but sometimes, things may work out.

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel about being in the neighborhood..I'm trying to win the lottery to get back to my home...it's only 6 miles away but a world of difference!

My best friend is going through what you are going through We have spent days trying to understand what is going on legally and fill out correct paper work etc without a lawyer and all...

I may be sooo behind but can you try to get a different bank to take the loan? As for foreclosure, my friend was just served last night even though it's been ...let's see...about 9 months of no payment. She owes more than it's worth so she wasn't able to sell even though she tried twice with two diff realtors and then once with a short sale. When she called the help line on the papers they referred her to people to help her and when she said she just wanted to "be done" with it, the lady said she would have to file "uncontested" and apparently that means that she would still owe on the loan whatever wasn't paid after they do the sheriffs sale. Which is IMPOSSIBLE because it's like 100,000 or more. They are considering bankrupcy at this point :(

However, they contacted this group www.walkawaytoday.org that said they would help...IDK about these people...trying to figure if it's a scam. If they get any help from them I'll let you know but apparently they are supposed to help you avoid having a forclosure on your credity because they buy it and rent it out. Like I said, idk..but if they get help I'll let you know.

Good luck!

PS: The helpline lady from the forclosure place said it'll take up to a year of them doing paperwork before they will be kicked out so you do have some time even after the papers are served to figure things out.