Not doing so well today

Hey Peeps,

I'm not usually the weepy type but this past few weeks has been challenging in my world. I feel like my life is just not progressing the way I want it to. I can't be everywhere and do everything and over the last few years I've spent a lot of time doing something I'd never done before. Tending to MY needs, to MY life, to what gets ME through the day. It was selfish. Necessarily selfish but still selfish. And selfishness has its consequences. Boy am I experiencing them right now.

While I don't like how I'm feeling right now, I am happy that my first inclination is to tap out a note about it here instead of diving head first into a bucket of ice cream. But that still doesn't make any of it feel much better.

I don't want to go into nitty gritty details (mainly cuz it'd bore you but also because I just have this big sense of insecurity about my online presence at this very moment), but I am feeling unsafe (in an emotional sense, not physically unsafe), sad and like I'm not very successful at anything that matters to the quaity of my life. Not a great feeling.

Sorry to depress you all but I had to get these feelings out of my head and onto some other venue.

Thanks for letting me have my "moment."

I'm sorry my friend.

*hugs*

I do hope you get to feeling better, but just let me say ......YAY....for thinking of yourself...you deserve it!!!! Boy does there ever come a time in our lives when that is exactly what we need!!!!!!!!

I am sorry to hear that Nik.  Life really can hit you hard sometimes.  Been there, done that, and probably will again someday.  If you need to chat, feel free to drop me a message. :)

Hi Cleo,
We all need to have our moments. Congrats that you typed them out instead of stuffing them down with some kind of food. I hate that you are in a funk today, but the best thing about this is we get to start over whenever we want to. I say, start right now. Your selfishness, like mine, probably saved your life and I say its worth saving. Keep on keeping on, don't let  this bump in the road become a mountain. You ARE successful, youv'e lost weight and reclaimed your life. That is success! Hugs to you and keep doing you.

Nik-
You are always such an inspiration to those of us on here, I hope that in some small way we can show you support when you need it!!!!!
Thoughts are with you! 
BTW- great new pic.
Michelle

Michelle, I was going to type almost the exact same thing when I read your post.  Hang in there Nik.  You mean the world to all of us here.  We have so much respect and admiration for all that you do. You have made a difference in so many of our lives. And while I may not know all the details of your life or your situation, I can tell from your posts and your blog that you're a great mom, on top of everything you do to support the people here.  Please don't let yourself feel unsuccessful!!!!!

I have to agree with the previous two posters....you may not realize how many of us you reach on this board!  I hope that that knowledge means something, because you are a true inspiration, a leader, and someone many of us look to for support!  Glad to be here for you in any way I can!

HUGS

It's a fine line between taking care of yourself and being selfish and I know you well enough to know that you are NOT a selfish woman. That being said, you continue to take care of yourself and try not to beat yourself up for it too, too badly. 

I know you have heard this before but it is not being selfish to take care of ourselves.  If we don't take care of ourselves we will have nothing to give anyone else.  Have you been on a plane when they are giving the speech.  Where the stewardess (or whatever they are called now) says that the first thing a mother needs to do is put the oxygen mask on herself or she won't be able to help her children.
Never doubt your value, to your kids, your family and friends and to those you help with your blog.  You have been an important part of my post op life.  If it weren't for you I would still be hating those nasty protein drinks instead of looking forward to them.