to tell or not to tell
I did it differently. I told my husband and sister (she's already had surgery) I didn't tell my kids and the rest of my family. Two friends who work at a store we frequent have had the surgery too and have been very supportive and happy for me.
I figure the less explaining I have to do... the better I like it!
I figure the less explaining I have to do... the better I like it!
That is such a personal decision, and I would think that it would depend from friend to friend. I have not hidden my surgery from anyone, and I would never lie about it, but there were people who I did not tell unless they asked specifically. I told those who I knew would be supportive. If I thought they would argue...or try to talk me out of it...I did not tell them unless it came up specifically.
In my case, I told my immediate family I was having surgery but didn't tell anyone else until I got a date. I announced I was having surgery on my facebook page only because 99% of my family and friends live on the other side of the country, that's how we keep in touch. My friends like hearing about my progress and I NEED the support. It's been great, but it's really a personal desicion. I would tell people tho, just to avoid all the questions about how you lost the weight so fast.
I told very few people. Some of my friends know, most do not. If anyone asks me, I will tell them, otherwise, it is my business.
I do not really have much family anymore, so it wasn't a big issue. I do not tell friends about my gyno visits, or other medical information, and that is kind of how I see my weight loss surgery.
If you are comfortable, tell. If you aren't comfortable, don't. When you start losing weight, they may ask questions, so be prepared. In my case, I spent over a YEAR losing weight before surgery, so it has been a long process, not just the four months since I had my surgery. Most of my friends know I am in some kind of support group about weight loss, but none have asked what the basis of the group is. I am prepared to tell any of my friends about the surgery - if they ask me.
Hang in there, I am sure you already know YOUR answer - wink wink!
Brenda : )~
I do not really have much family anymore, so it wasn't a big issue. I do not tell friends about my gyno visits, or other medical information, and that is kind of how I see my weight loss surgery.
If you are comfortable, tell. If you aren't comfortable, don't. When you start losing weight, they may ask questions, so be prepared. In my case, I spent over a YEAR losing weight before surgery, so it has been a long process, not just the four months since I had my surgery. Most of my friends know I am in some kind of support group about weight loss, but none have asked what the basis of the group is. I am prepared to tell any of my friends about the surgery - if they ask me.
Hang in there, I am sure you already know YOUR answer - wink wink!
Brenda : )~
It is very very important to have a great support system so I told anyone who wanted to know or had questions, I figured it would be esier to weed out the non support system while I still had the strength to deal with the bs.
Post op your thoughts and emotions and focus will be all over the place and when you have a "man I screwed up i shoulda never done this surgery " day you need someone beside you pointing out how far you have come how strong you are and that it's just a bump in the road kind of moment , not someone who is going to say"well see this is why i told you NOT to do this i just knew you couldn't handle it or it was gonna be to hard or whatever self rightious speach they have in their head.
Post op your thoughts and emotions and focus will be all over the place and when you have a "man I screwed up i shoulda never done this surgery " day you need someone beside you pointing out how far you have come how strong you are and that it's just a bump in the road kind of moment , not someone who is going to say"well see this is why i told you NOT to do this i just knew you couldn't handle it or it was gonna be to hard or whatever self rightious speach they have in their head.
I told very few, only on a need to know basis. My kids, my sister (who had WLS 9 years ago), my daughter told my neighbor or I wouldn't have told her.
I am a revision and I told everyone who would listen. And then proceed to regain most of the weight I lost. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I didn't want anyone to judge me. I just figured they would assume I would screw this up, too.
I have lost and gained weight so many times in the past that most people really don't know what to expect at any given time.
If someone asks I go into detail about what I am eating and that usually shuts them up.
I am a revision and I told everyone who would listen. And then proceed to regain most of the weight I lost. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I didn't want anyone to judge me. I just figured they would assume I would screw this up, too.
I have lost and gained weight so many times in the past that most people really don't know what to expect at any given time.
If someone asks I go into detail about what I am eating and that usually shuts them up.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
This was a very personal decision for me, so I did not tell anyone but immediate family.
At work I said I was having surgery. They did not ask and I did not volunteer what kind. (They assumed it was a gyn procedure, I think.) I don't really socialize with co workers so there was no issue and n o need for added information.
Obviously I was losing weight but simply said I had some health issues flare up and was working closely with my doctor, a nutritionist, and had a personal trainer. All true.
Now, 20 months out, I realize that people have VERY short memories and just accept the way I eat now as "normal."
My support group is my family and those at the support group I attend. Others simply wouldn't get it. I was NOT in the market for uninformed opinions, negative input, or judgement.
At work I said I was having surgery. They did not ask and I did not volunteer what kind. (They assumed it was a gyn procedure, I think.) I don't really socialize with co workers so there was no issue and n o need for added information.
Obviously I was losing weight but simply said I had some health issues flare up and was working closely with my doctor, a nutritionist, and had a personal trainer. All true.
Now, 20 months out, I realize that people have VERY short memories and just accept the way I eat now as "normal."
My support group is my family and those at the support group I attend. Others simply wouldn't get it. I was NOT in the market for uninformed opinions, negative input, or judgement.