Dating for the first time - do men care about loose skin, batwings, etc?

I am having my surgery next week- I have to lose 170 lbs  just to make it to "normal" aka 130#-ish.  People have said that a huge change after surgery will be the way people look at you.  I haven't dated in almost 10 years, not because I don't want to, but because men never approached me at 300 lbs.  My friends are all married with kids, so I never really went out to try to meet people & I have no single friends.

Where do you start after being dateless (I am 49 y.o.) for so long?  I am so used to being ignored or even treated rudely by men (snickers, laughing with their buddies while pointing at me) that I am not sure where to begin to get some self-confidence as I start my journey.  Is it easier to look to date a man who has also had WLS? 

ive found that if a man truly likes you that the extra skin and bat wings dont mean anything!! for most of them they are just happy to be "getting some" they dont care lol.

Funny, cuz Im dealing with something like that.  Im 3 months out and almost down 70lbs.....and men are starting to look at me and giving me "that look".  At first, I felt....."OH geez, they are teasing me again...laughing at me".   But after while, I came to realize they wanted me. HA HA
What a shock...and a booster. 

My DH better watch out....Im loving this attention.

I think that the other poster is right, men don't care....some of them just wanna get laid.  Others...if they really care and love you...won't make a difference.

Good luck to you and your journey...its a hell've ride.

LoL... im with the post above - men are happy with a nakey woman :-) heck men are happy a woman even wants them! We are much more critical as women... men dont look at things the way we do (ever hear a man ask if something makes his butt look big?). You will find the right person and they wont care about whats underneath your clothes.
As for looking for a WLS man.. personally I did not want to date another WLS person.. I didnt want to have somebody over my shoulder asking if I should  (or shouldnt!) be eating something.. I also didnt want to have to try and deal with somebody elses issues while trying to deal with my own. If I met somebody and it worked out then good for us, but I didnt good seeking a WLS person.. thought about it then decided nah. I just wanted to be normal, my BF is supportive of me and my crazy eating/food habits and respects what I do and dont want in the house etc... its worked out well for me.

My hubby doesn't seem to SEE the flopping skin. What he sees is a healthy, sexy woman who can do things she couldn't before.

If a man can't accept me as I am, he's not worth having!

I have to say I agree with the last post that says if a man loves you...he loves you.  You will find people more interested in you I am sure...I am not yet post op and have yet to celebrate those joys...but I would say take some time for you to enjoy the new more healthy you for a bit til you gain some of your lost selfconfience.  If it is ment to be than the man can wait.  I know even though I am married I will have to adjust to my new me as much as hubby will.  I am excited that you are beginning your new journey - good luck with your surgery.

If I'm reading this correctly you are asking about DATING whereas most of the responses mention LOVE.

It takes time for 2 people to get to know eachother and LOVE eachother, but here's my 2 cents worth for the DATING part...

I'm dating and having the time of my life. I did have men in my life when I was overweight, but the QUALITY and QUANTITY of man/men has gotten better/increased greatly AND NONE OF THEM SEEM TO MIND THE TUMMY SCARS (yes, I go around like a kid showing them off in a hey you wanna see sorta way lol), SAGGY SKIN OR FLAPPY ARMS. Don't get it twisted, I AM NOT intimate with all the guys I'm dating...just with one of them...but I am being hugged and nuzzled and catered to and getting GREAT attention from a handful of suitors (big cheesy smile).
 
It has just recently gotten cold here in ATL, so my arms were out this summer and not one guy I dated told me to put my "wings" away lol. And when I finally undressed and did the grown-up with my new "friend" he didn't flinch and he has returned for more and repeatedly. Guys are comfortable if WE are comfortable. If you feel good about you - NO MATTER YOUR WEIGHT OR WINGS, they will too. 

Some men are all about the visual, so not every man will be totally accepting (just being honest here), but most guys are totally ok with it and won't even give it a second thought. 

I will add that all the guys I'm dating (and the one I'm sleeping with) are totally aware that I've had Gastric Bypass surgery and are very supportive. They ask questions, make me feel good about my decision and love the fact they they only have to order ONE MEAL (and no liquor) when we go out, because I will eat from their plate and drink water LOL. 

I'm no psych doctor, but I'm sure your confidence will rocket once you've lost a few pounds and the way you feel about yourself is how others will feel about you. As long as you're smiling and happy they won't notice your wings, saggy skin, what have you.

Everything does not work for everybody, but I've found the internet a great way to meet new people. It's a form of "speed dating" and it's free (depending on the site). If you haven't dated in 10 years I'd be VERY CAREFUL if I were you - things in the game have changed and you don't want to get taken advantage of, which could possibly happen if your self esteem is low and since this unfamiliar territory for you. But once youre feeling ready to mingle you might try it slowly WITH CAUTION.

I'm 39, 5'6, almost 80 pounds lighter and loving every freakin' minute of this.

Hope this helped. 

Nic

  

CORRECTING myself on something I said. Only 2 peeps here mentioned "love"...I was mixing up my boards/forums. My bad folks. Nic

Being that I live in Florida I have found dating can be pretty difficult find a man who is willing to date you with lose skin. I get constant questions.. some of the men who normally like bigger girls date me... and seem more accepting than the ones who see me and be like wow shes fine then get to know me and find their not attracted to the lose skin I have. It's always brought up. So my experiences arent all positive.

funny... i am dealing with this now... all of it and plus the hottest man alive (to me ) is pursuing knowing i am a fat butt and will be skinny soon and all he cares about is me .. this is the first time in years  that a man felt this way about me .. i am having a trippy time receiving it all... true.. all guys want to get laid.. lol