Weight loss to save marriage?

Well I can't say I had WLS just to save my marriage but I can say I really thought that it would help....boy was I wrong!  My husband and I are separating and filing for bankruptcy on the house.  I have applied for a rental and I am pretty sure I will be moving on the first of the month.  So what went wrong?  Well I thought our problem was my weight, he just didn't look at me the same, he didn't touch me as often.  So I went through the whole issue of blaming myself and wondering how I could let myself go like this.  I was able to have RNY almost 6 months ago and I thought for sure that he would want me more than ever if I lost the weight.....guess what, nothing changed.  Here I am 6 months later and down 71 lbs. and looking and feeling better than I have in years and he hasn't even noticed.  I am so hurt and confused.  I just want to be happy with someone who adores me, don't I deserve that much?  I work hard and am a good mother and I am still young, is it too much to ask for a little sweep off your feet once in a while.  Don't get me wrong, he couldn't be a kinder man who works hard for his family but behind closed doors we lack intensity and passion and I need that above all the material things.  Well I am just having a really hard day and wanted to vent so thanks to all who are listening with their hearts out there.  I rarely post but I do lurk every single day and I get so much support from this site, I just want to say thanks.

I'm sorry to hear about your separation.  He obviously wasn't interested in saving the marriage to begin with.  Now that you look better and feel better about yourself you will be able to find someone who adores you like you deserve when you're ready for it.  You've fought hard to lose the weight and you can get through this too.  Sending you hugs today! Julie

Julie, I can feel your hugs and thanks for that I really need it today.....never thought I would be in this place in my life but hopefully it is for the best....just hoping I am making the right decision.

HUGE HUGS and yes, you DO deserve to be swept off your feet!

Thanks Lisa, hugs right back at cha!

Well we all want to be loved and cherished. Have you communicated with your hubby that you need to be hugged, loved, cuddled and told you are loved and appreciated? He just may have a low sex drive to boot, if you still love him, find a good couple therapist to work out your troubles. If you are not in love with him and don't want to work on your marriage then it's time to move on. Relationships are hard, you have to constantly work on them and you have to communicate. I left my 27 year marriage because I was replaced by a computer and he just sat in his chair after work. He was a good man but I didn't feel loved. I know what you are saying. A divorce was very good for me and now I'm engaged to a man *****ally loves and cherishes me. I feel so blessed. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thanks for your words of wisdom Debbie....I have more than communicated my needs to him for the past 5 years.  He knows everything I need, he just took me for granted a little too long and I am ready to move on now.  I feel good about my decision, it is just a hard road to travel.

I went thru my divorce in 2006 after 10 years of marriage.  I did lose 40 lbs and it didn't change anything.  1 year later I met this wonderful, caring, compassionate man (9 years younger).  I am back up to 247 lbs and he still loves me.. We were married on 04/16/2008.  He is supportive and is behind my WLS 100%. 

So my prayer for you is you find your forever!!!

^5 sistah!

I got a man nearly 8 years younger and I'm loving it!

-Cynthia 

Thank you for your prayer.