I think I am ready to give up

There were many reasons I chose to have this surgery. The main reason was to look and feel healthier. I really didn't have many health related issues prior to the RNY but I knew I was on the fast track to them if I didn't get my weight off. I was in my surgeons office on Feb. 28. I weighed in at 240 lbs. I started at 273. My surgery was on Feb. 5. I also did a 2 week liquid diet prior to surgery. My weight has been fluctuating between 235 and 237 since then. I don't get it. I am exercising moderately. Many days I do not eat more than 400 calories. How can I not lose?  One of the things I don't understand is anorexia. When we don't lose many times we are told to up our calories. They don't eat and yet they lose. How does this make sense? (No fears of anorexia here. I guess I am just talking out of my butt) My mom had RNY almost 4 years ago. She only ever lost 70 pounds and could still lose about 90 more. I am so fearful of this happening to me too. I know many post on here about feeling like they will be the only one to never lose the weight. But I have a real, living, breathing example and it terrifies me.  I see the surgeon again in May and I am already fearful of going. I don't want to be a failure to him, my family that has supported me so much....but most of all to myself. They just got a new NUT here on base. I am making an appt. with him but have not had any nutritional direction other than here since surgery. I could use some advice and support but could do without the flaming. I am just feeling really fragile at the moment. Dimple

Hang in there, it will get better.  Don't compare yourself to your mother.... the surgery itself has changed tremendously in four years....  Remember, too, that our hormones go through some major roller coaster ups and downs.... It sounds like you may be experiencing a "down-time" right now.

Good for you for being proactive.... get in with a good nutritionist... read up as much as you can... rely on support and advice from successful OHers....  You're going to be great.  :o)

Chin up!  {{HUGS}}

Hang in there.... I had many of the same feelings. I started very close to the same weight you are now.  I have been told by others that some people need more cals than others to loose. I don't count cals at all- just eat within the guidelines of my NUT.... and recently have really upped the exercise to 5 days per week 30 min per day. Before that I was more hit or miss. I do know that I eat more than 400 cals- heck the protein bullet alone is almost 200 cals (IDS New Whey). Strange as it may sound you may not be eating enough.... your body will go into starvation mode and hold on to every calorie. Go visit the NUT but hang in there until then!

I find it helpful to break down large problems into smaller parts to try to deal with them that way. As far as your recent weight loss goes, stalls are not uncommon at this stage.  When I hit a stall like yours, I quit weighing myself and limited weigh-ins to once a month.  Even so, there were times when waiting a month resulted in disappointment.  Still, most months, weight came off well.  Weight comes off in fits and starts and sometimes the body needs time to adjust.  Theories on why stalls happen abound, but the fact is that they do and if you read messages going back on this board, there's probably at least one post about a stall at one month post-op or so virtually every day.  That's how common it is, so please don't feel it means that you'll never lose enough, because the one thing is not connected to the other. Overall, your weight loss so far is fantastic.  You are down to 235-37 from 273 in a relatively short time.  Just look at your weight loss graph in your signature block.  You have already covered a lot of the territory that you planned to cover in a short time, you really have.  It took awhile to put the weight on, and it will take awhile to take it off, even with WLS.  It's hard to accept that when you don't see weight loss every week, but that doesn't make it less true.  It's part of the messed-up relationship we have with weight (and food, and diets, and the whole obesity thing) that we want results faster than what is realistic.  Everybody notices the posts about people with rapid weight loss and they all think that's "normal" and that anything less is failure.  Thinking like this, while common, just makes the WLS journey and the obesity battle so much harder than it has to be. The fact that your mom didn't lose as much as she should have is troubling.  I can see where that would be an enormous stressor in the back of your mind every time you face a stall in weight loss (this probably won't be the last one in your journey).  Did your mom do follow-up with her surgeon (or another one perhaps) to see why her surgery produced such disappointing results?  There are so many reasons why her weight loss may have stopped at that point.  It would be important to have an understanding of what those reasons were (or what reasons were eliminated) in order to know just how concerned you should be about the risk of having a similar outcome.  The fact that she stopped at 70 pounds doesn't mean that you will.   Can you encourage her to see a doctor to explore everything from whether there has been a surgical failure (staple-line disruption, enlarged stoma, need for repair/revision) to whether eating/exercise habits have played a role?  Does she eat and exercise differently than you do? How does her medical state otherwise compare to yours? Suzy C.

Ok, I'll try to explain it to the best of my ability, anyone else, feel free to correct me.   Calories aren’t the only thing the body uses to determine if 'fat' should be burned up.  It's a combination of calories AND protein.  So, if you've been eating 400 calories a day and very little protein, your body thinks it's starving and basically holds onto those 400 calories as much as it can. Currently, I'm on a 500 calorie/60-80 grams protein per day diet and I'm steadily losing.  When my surg/nut told me my daily limits, I didn't even think such a thing was possible.  Get that much protein with that few calories????  Well, it can be done, and I do it every day. As for Anorexics, their situation is different.  Of course they lose weight,  their bodies have nothing to hold on to, even in starvation mode.  But that is an extremely dangerous option for weight loss.  The fact is, if you don't give your body enough protein every day, it has to get it from somewhere, so it will take it from your muscles.  And yes, your heart is a muscle.  Continual days of protein deficiency can and will cause IRREPERABLE damage to your heart.  My suggestion:  *  Track what you eat, not just calories, but fat, protein, and carbohydrates.   *  Make sure that you’re getting enough liquid every day.  Some people forget that since a lot of the liquid we get every day is from food, when we’re eating less we need to up our water intake to compensate.  *  Make sure that you’re getting your vitamins and minerals every day.  Imbalances can really affect your weight loss and your overall body chemistry. I hope that helps . . . DON'T GIVE UP!!!

Dimple, first you cannot compare your WLS journey to any one else. We're all different, even your mother.  Second, to me it sounds like you're not eating enough, especially if you're exercising. Are you getting at least your minimum water and protein? I'd go to the nutrition board on OH and ask one of the 'resident' nutritionists to look at your daily diet and exercise and see what could be adjusted. Don't give up! Cy

Thank you all for the quick, well thought, supporting responses. My mother continues to see her doctors. They don't seem to have concerns with her relatively small weight loss. She is a bit disappointed. But she is also happy with the 70lbs lost. She feels a ton better and has no weight related health issues. I have discussed the possible need for a revision with her and she is not interested. She went through one surgery and that is enough for her. You know, I really am happy with the weight I have lost. I can see a diffence in my clothes and the way I feel. Just getting up off my chair is easier. I don't feel the roll of fat under my neck when I turn my head. I also had a hiatal hernia repair during my RNY and have no heartburn of sour stomach. I have already reaped many benefits. I would do it again just for these benefits even if I never lost another pound. But in my heart I do want to lose. I want to feel good ABOUT my body and not just IN my body. It is a vanity thing I suppose. I feel like this was a LOT to go through if I don't succeed. And again I mention what a failure I will feel like and already do in some ways. It does feel good to not obsess over food now though. I never realized just how much food was an intregal part of my life until after RNY. Now I choose things that are appetizing and healthy versus the biggest thing on the menu.  I just need to get my head on straight. Dimple

Don't give up...this is temporary. With that said, I think 400 calories really sounds much too low for being 6+ weeks out. If I had to guess, I think I was between 750 and 800 calories a day at that point, and also exercising several times a week. Also, put the scale away except for one day/time per week. Really...people agonize over the numbers. If you're doing all the right things, try and trust that the weight loss will follow, because really it will unless there is some sort of mechanical failure (which I haven't heard anything suggesting there is).

Some people's bodies truly fight to stay obese ... Some thin people could eat what a MO person eats and never gain an ounce.  Life isn't fair sometimes!  All I can say is that I have read many, many posts from people who lost weight soooo slowly ... BUT, they still lose the weight.  Keep doing what you should be doing, and the weight will come off.  Try to focus on anything other than the scale ... Speaking of which:  Measure yourself!  Some people lose inches rather than pounds.  It's crazy, but it's true. Hugs, Annette

I just wanted to add that I do shoot for my minimum protein and water requirements. Many days I meet them. Some days I do not. I do take my vitamins. Prior to RNY I swear I needed a nap after every meal. Now I rarely take a nap and even have problems getting to sleep on most nights. This was an unexpected benefit. (Although I do wish I could get to sleep at night a little easier) I have tried Tylenol PM but it leaves me really groggy for most of the next day. I don't want to sound ungrateful This has been a wonderful opportunity I have been given and I want to reap the rewards of it. FULLY.  I know that giving up is not a viable option. The surgery won't physically let me. But mentally......I am really struggling. I know I should be happy with the weight loss thus far but not seeing the scale move this early out........I am not afraid of the surgery failing me. I am afraid of failing the surgery. Dimple