Feeling Like A Failure

Your story sounds so much like mine, I am scheduled for a revision on 09-28-05. I have been told that they will remove a band that was placed during the orig procedure on the vbg and they will attempt the revision to DS. But, the procedure will be exploritory and they will do what they can. I am hopful the the Rabkins are successful. My orig weight was 268 lost down to 197 and have gained to 220. I am 2yr 4 mo post op. I stopped losing at about 6 months. I have been very frustrated for this entire ordeal. But, I have come to far, and gone through too much to stop now. My husband agrees and will be by my side for what ever this new chapter brings.

Rebecca, You are NOT a failure!!!! I had RNY in 87, kept it (168#) off for 7 years, then it started coming back on. Staple line disruption. Mine is totally gone. Doctor says sometimes it just happens, thru nothing you did. I gained a lot of the "new" weight when I was pregnant---what a shocker when I did NOT deliver bouncing 30 pound boy! I started the diet struggle again---lose--gain--lose--gain more.. I was reliving my nightmare. Because I was so miserable and desperate, I fell back into old patterns--food for comfort--made things worse. I second guessed myself a whole lot. Why didn't I REALIZE I was eating more? Why didn't I do this--or that? Finally I decided I needed to get my life back. So now I am scheduled for revision to DS on 9/12. Stop concentrating on the negative and focus on the positive. Bad things have happened, but there's no point on dwelling on that. Focus on what you want and your goals and go for it. Sounds like you have a lovely, supportive husband to stand by your side---that's 90% of the battle. Quit the blame game---they told you before you had the surgery that there was a small percentage whose surgery fails. Sucky as it is, you and I and a lot of folks on this board got "lucky" . Now take care of yourself---you deserve it! Good luck, Darlene

Thank all of you again for your words of wisdom and encouragement. I had a consultation with a surgeon who I trust very much - he made me feel comfortable right away, and explained a lot of the physical reasons the VBG fails. I go back on Thursday (9/15) for a laproscopic look at my tummy. If the pouch, staple line, or stoma are compromised it looks like I have a really good chance of being approved by my insurance for revision. I am very nervous about this visit, but excited also... You have all helped me a great deal to cope with my feelings of guilt and blame, and I think that because of all the support I have had - here as well as from my family - I am ready to move past that and go to a new phase in my life... Thank you all again...you can't know how much you mean to me... RL