In the end only kindness matters...

Citizen Kim
on 4/7/17 1:55 pm - Castle Rock, CO

Ten years ago OH was a cess pool of mean, rude people who would insert themselves into your personal or professional life to "get you back" for not having the same views as them.

It's way kinder today than it's ever been. No rose coloured glasses for the old days here!

Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist

megange1
on 4/7/17 5:16 pm

That sounds awful! I'm sorry you went through that experience here. I'm feeling grateful that mine was different!

Citizen Kim
on 4/7/17 8:24 pm - Castle Rock, CO

Oh, I'm fine, I've stuck around for 13 years and am used to people posting about what THEY perceive everyone's experience is, or should be.

I think the OP on the thread to which you refer, was combative and rude to people who were telling her truth and facts. If you want to enable her victim status, you have at it!

Proud Feminist, Atheist, LGBT friend, and Democratic Socialist

rocky513
on 4/7/17 3:49 pm - WI

On the revision post the OP stated that she had already had an endoscopy and the professionals said that her pouch was still small and functioning properly.

She then asked about getting a revision surgery even though her original surgery is still working fine. I did address her diet and habits because, if she has functioning pouch, the problem is in her eating habits which caused the large re-gain.

I also addressed the insurance question and told her to get an experienced surgeon if she proceeds with a revision. As a revision patient myself, I know just how dangerous revisions can be.

I was not being mean, I was being honest.

HW 270 SW 236 GW 160 CW 145 (15 pounds below goal!)

VBG Aug. 7, 1986, Revised to RNY Nov. 18, 2010

megange1
on 4/7/17 5:27 pm, edited 4/7/17 10:28 am

I found you're response really thoughtful and full of information. She seemed to get put off by anyone who called out the diet issues, so that's where her sensitivity seemed to lie. My only thought on that was that she was asking questions about her revision options specifically, and it felt like because she admitted her stomach was still somewhat small, a lot of people began to assume that she simply needed dieting advice. Which she may need, but it wasn't what she asked for help with. By giving dieting advice, it automatically assumes she is the reason her surgery did not work. I was worried that might be hurtful to someone who already felt lost, and by her responses, it obviously struck a nerve. Maybe she needed "tough love," but I also feel that before any doctor allowed her a revision, she would get a whole slew of information on how to improve dietary choices etc. So, maybe the thread should have focused more on the help she asked for. I know I definitely have a dissenting opinion because people say that you shouldn't come here to just hear what you want to hear. I agree with that, but I do think we should try to help people with the issues they ask for help on. When someone says, "I was one of the people who called her on her BS..." that doesn't feel very helpful, and instead feels like some posts were motivated by negativity, instead of help. Yours didn't feel that way, but the negativity is what prompted my post. It might not have been the dietary advice alone that set her off, it might have been that it sort of took over her thread, instead of what she was asking for. I don't know. Just not wanting a single person to leave here feeling worse.

Gwen M.
on 4/7/17 7:11 pm
VSG on 03/13/14

But if someone is asking about having a surgery that works, helping them to make the surgery they already have work IS answering their question. Just not in a way they always want to hear.

VSG with Dr. Salameh - 3/13/2014
Diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder and started Vyvanse - 7/22/2016
Reconstructive Surgeries with Dr. Michaels - 6/5/2017 (LBL & brachioplasty), 8/14/2017 (UBL & mastopexy), 11/6/2017 (medial leg lift)

Age 42 Height 5'4" HW 319 (1/3/2014) SW 293 (3/13/2014) CW 149 (7/16/2017)
Next Goal 145 - normal BMI | Total Weight Lost 170

TrendWeight | Food Blog (sort of functional) | Journal (down for maintenance)

Mba78
on 4/7/17 5:34 pm

Can anyone who has had a revision give me more information? I want to know the good, the bad, etc. I'm also looking for a site other than healthgrades where I can research bariatric surgeons and their performance, which I did for my first surgery in 2004 but I can't remember the name of the site. Thanks

nedsmehlp
on 4/19/17 4:00 pm - Hutchinson, KS

I had a revision from VSG to DS April 7th. The best decision I have ever made! I had Dr Keshishian in Glendale California. He is a well known Dr. He does many revisions and virgin DS's. I will PM you with additional information. I think his website is dssurgery.com

Mba78
on 4/7/17 4:37 pm

megange1, I know exactly how you feel, and that is why I got off the old site. I had rny in 2004, and am now considering a revision as I have gained back about 1/3 of the weight I lost. I understand that about being made to feel worse about yourself, too. I had my psych eval today and the psychologist did just that to me. He told me I was too strong and too confident. Finally, and maybe this was his goal, he reduced me to tears. Great. Back to feeling like a failure again. I need positive comments and encouragement. I've come here to hopefully find it. Bless your heart for being brave enough to post this. I can relate.

megange1
on 4/7/17 5:11 pm

Im so sorry you experienced this today! The psych evaluation can be hard. I think they are definitely paid to scare you and shake you up. They probably just want to ensure you know all the risks and can handle them, but there has to be better ways. Congratulations that you are taking these first steps to improve your life. Never feel like a failure! There are a million reasons why surgeries are not successful. Simply by seeking help and trying again shows you're not a failure. I feel like as long as people are continuing to seek help, they haven't failed because they are still fighting to get better.

Thank you for your support of my post. I had a feeling it wouldn't win me any popularity contests, but I kept seeing trends that were upsetting and wanted to say something in case it helped even one person. Good luck on your journey! Let me know if you need anything.

Most Active
×