Afraid that I'll fail at the bypass like I failed at the band

No acid reflux...yay!

Im in the same boat.  I was banded in 2008. Lost 90lbs and have gained back 50. I have restriction sporadically.  Some foods are fine one day and make me sick the next.  I got unfilled last summer and filled up to Max again and have gained almost 30 lbs since.  So it's time to take the band out.  I want to have rny but I feel like a failure.   I don't even want to tell anybody I'm so ashamed.  I'm going for my fist appointment to start the psych evaluation Monday and I can't even tell anyone. I do feel like a total failure.  

I'm in a similar situation, trying to get a band-to-bypass revision approved.  The way I look at it, failing with the band (I lost 90 pounds, but have regained most of it) makes me all that much more determined to succeed with the bypass.  Like someone else said, try to use the fear to motivate you, but don't let it control you.  Yes, we're probably going to have to work harder than someone who had bypass right off the bat, but it will make the success that much sweeter.  In my case, I know I'm going to be much more careful than I would have if I'd had the sleeve or bypass as my original surgery, since I now know how easy it is to slip and regain and how demoralizing the regain is.

I was banded in 2007 shortly after my first daughter was born.  I was terrified that I would be a source of pain and embarrassment for her; when other children would see me in the playground.  I've been heavy my whole life and I suppose hearing and feeling the negative karma on a daily basis - well I guess I was just used to it.  But then my daughter came and I wanted to change for her.  I was so obsessed with this, that I picked an awful company called Slimband (back then it was TLBC) as they boasted amazing results... Yeah - a little too amazing...  They took my $16k and I lost about 20 lbs for a few months, but since then I have put the 20 back on and added another 60.  I could never find the 'sweet spot' and all it's done is make me feel like even more of a failure.  I've been waiting for my appointment to come up for the Gastric Bypass for over a year and I am in the same boat.  Terrified.  I have another little girl and I'm over 330 lbs.  I do my best, but they deserve so much more.  

We can be terrified together I suppose.  I'm keeping hope alive for my two little girls.  They deserve to have their daddy walk them down the aisle...

I feel your pain.  Banded in 2009, lost almost 40 pounds, never found the sweet spot, regained, got gastritis from taking antibiotics and had it unfilled in the ER in 2011.  No fluids added since.

Like you, dense protein will occasionally make me stuck, but sliders always go down without making me sick.  I also see a therapist and was diagnosed with EDNOS (Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified).

Fear is a big thing--do I want to revise and possibly fail?  I know doing it on my own is highly unlikely.  But I have so much joint pain, I'm so tired, my sleep quality is awful…I just don't know.

When my doc brought up revision, suggesting RNY, I was like NOPE.  Now, I'm seriously contemplating it.  I dunno.  I get the band out in 2 weeks and then I'll have 3 months to think about it before he'll do a revision.  

Sounds like you're on the right path though--being realistic about the expectations and working with your brain and behaviors in addition to thinking about the surgical procedure.

Hi there - I'm also a failed band patient.  I was banded back in April of 2009 and lost a max of 30 pounds.  I have gained all of that back plus about another 10.  I too am currently jumping through all of the insurance hoops in order to qualify for a revision to RNY. 

I hadn't really thought about it but I suppose that I'm a bit embarrassed as well since I have only told my very inner circle, mom, and significant other about the surgery so far. 

Good luck to you, and hopefully this qualification period goes quickly for all of us so that we can be happier and working with a useful tool!

~B

Thank you for all of your kind comments. It's good to know I'm not alone in this process! I just want to be healthy and active again!  Also, looking better would be a bonus :)

I do hope all of you are also researching the Duodenal Switch.

I was banded in 2008, went from 325 day of surgery down to 240 in one year and then after I got gallstones I lost my sweet spot and my hunger came back and my "tool" was no more. I started researching surgeries in late 2011 (I think). I had my daughter in mid-2011 and with her came daily migraines , fibromyalgia, and cervical facet disease. All my doctors agree the weight loss could help and I figure it couldn't hurt. I was 275 when I got pregnant, 308 the day I had her, 311 the day I started jumping through the insurance company hoops to get my revision (Jan 2014) and am now 301. 

I researched all the major surgeries (VSG, DS, RNY) and decided on RNY. I just got approved Thursday after a long fight. I have told everyone I am having revision. If I fail I will be on display. Therefore, I can't fail. I won't fail. I have too much on the line. I am not ashamed. This is for me. This is my health. I didn't ask for diabetes or to be born into a family of obese people or with a grandmother who died 12 years before I was born of obesity-related conditions or to be raised on cheap processed food because we were poor or to continue bad eating habits because it was what I was used to.

BUT, I am an adult. I do control what I eat now. The lapband didn't work for me. I know what I did do to work it and what I didn't do to work it. I didn't have any major complications. I also didn't drink milkshakes all day. I also didn't eat salads and work out like a champ. You win some you lose some. I am not going to lose this one. I know I still won't look like a super model. I will never be 110 pounds. But that isn't my goal. I have realistic goals for me. I am not embarrassed for where I have been or for who I am.

Am I scared I won't lose weight? Yep. Get stuck on foods? Yep. Hit a plateau at one year? Yep. Run and hide from everyone like I did last time. Nope. I'm not doing that again. I refuse. That was the most embarrassing part of all. These people were here to help me and I hid. That hurt me in the long run.

I've been browsing all of the forums and reading most of the posts the last few days. I haven't spoke up until now. This is the post that has struck the strongest note with me. I feel the exact same way you do - like a failure. It is a miserable and shameful feeling. I was banded in 2009. I lost 168 lbs in the first 1.5 years. I began to get comfortable and started pressing my boundaries. Wrong move. I have since gained back 50 of those ugly lbs. I also developed a very bad case of acid reflux that led to the discovery of a hiatal hernia. My original surgeon was in Mexico. My local doctor, and the surgeon he referred me to, both gave me a stern talking to for going to Mexico. I still stand by that decision as it was my only option at that time. In fact, I'd go back to him if he hadn't been tragically killed in a  plane crash :(   ... ultimately, my new surgeon has told me he will fix the hernia if I allow him to remove the band. He will not remove the band without doing a bypass. Catch22, yes? I won the insurance battle and am scheduled for the repair/revision on June 2.  The only people that know are my husband, and the surgeon (who is in the next state- what are the odds I'll run into someone I know there?). I am just too embarrassed to admit my failure. The only thing my family and my boss knows is that I am having a hernia repaired.  I am praying I don't fail. If I can just lose that 50 lbs that I gained back, I'll be happy at 240. I'm a tallish, hispanic with hips...I know I won't be a twig! lol  I was very happy at that weight/size so it would be worth it to me if I could make that goal. Please keep us updated on what you decide. Good luck to you in your journey. Thank you for helping me realize I"m not the only person with these deep feelings!