home after a lapband revison to RNY...

Lapband revision was on 9/6 was supposed to come home from hospital on Monday but because of so much scaring and swelling I didn't get to come home until Tuesday evening.  Wed was still a blur but feeling pretty good today.  Most of my pain is around my old lapband port sight.  My lapband failed (basically created scar tissue so it wasn't adjustable).

When I had lapband I was wasn't ashamed at telling friends what was going on, but this time around I am worried about what kind of negative responses I'm going to be expecially since the lapband fiasco.  I have confided in a few about the lapband removal but not the conversion to bypass so now I am feeling guilty about it...

so just would like to hear how other handled the questions. 

I understand what you are feeling.  I had my band removed in May and hope to have RNY surgery in October.  I was very public when I had my band surgery because I figured it would help me be accountable with all eyes upon me.  Now with the trouble I had with the band and the weight I've gained back it's really hard to not feel that everyone must be talking about my weight gain behind my back.  *****ally knows and you know what?  It doesn't really matter.  However, I'm also debating whether or not I want to tell people when I have RNY surgery.  A few people know that I'm headed that way and who knows, it may leak out, but I'm not going to advertise that I had my band removed and another surgery.

The thing that concerns me most is that maybe I'm not willing to tell people this time because I fear failing...again.  It's a self defense mechanism that isn't really healthy.  Kind of like, if I don't tell and I fail, no one will know but me and I don't have to worry about being gossiped about.

You raise a really interesting question beyond being able to admit failure and worrying about what others think.  The question is, what do WE think.  That's what really matters.  I'm going to do my best through therapy to deal with the shame, fear of failure and every other negative emotion I have regarding my weight gain.  My head knows that it's my journey and what others think doesn't matter.  Now I just need to get my heart to believe it.

How are you feeling in comparison to what it was like to have the band surgery?

Lisa O.

Oh my goodness you hit the nail on the head with me and I too have been working with my counselor about the shame portion of failing "again"  On top of this we moved to a teeny tiny little town where everyone knows everything.  I have a few select friends that are sweet people but they do tend to "chat" a bit much.  I am glad to hear that you are working with a counselor, I think that plays a larger roll in success than I previously thought.  Yes the important question is what do WE think, I need to focus on that. 

I am currently doing well.  Pain much much less than I expected.  The issue I had was with Meds.  I have been dealing with anxiety attacks for about a year now which kicked in right away.  Let say I was having anxiety about anxiety!  I made sure my surgeon knew about my issues and my medication needs and he made sure that the orders where in my charts.  The floor nurses- well if they experienced me in a full blown anxiety attack knew from then on she ain't playin'  Again as with any surgery the key is to walk, walk, walk, and walk some more.  

Because my stomach was already beaten up by the band I did have to stay "nothing by mouth" an extra day until the swelling went down.  The hurtle after that was learning how to sip slowly and constantly. 

Jen W

I completely understand where you are coming from I had Lap Band in 2008 failed miserably and Im also debating whether I should bring up revision from LB to RNY Im in the process of going through all the steps for RNY.

I also scared since I failed miserably with LB will I be ok for RN? but I am not going to give up.

Hope all works out and remember who cares what other's think it's all about you getting healthy and sometimes we need the extra help their is no shame in that at least we are trying.

I hadn't told anybody about my band until some family member started talking about getting one and than I felt I had to "save them" and came clean.  Sure enough they used the info to backbite me.  I hadn't told them as I heard what they said about my sister when she got a DS in '06.  I didn't tell others as I don't share other medical issues with people either.  That's me!

One good thing came out of it.  My DD didn't get the band that she had been approved of before me but came up pg.  So she got the sleeve.  My one sister didn't get the band because of my coming clean and she got the sleeve, telling nobody but us with WLS.

I so understand how you feel.

So glad you were about to keep someone from making the band mistake!  I when I finally found a doc that would see me (my lapband sergeon left the state), my current surgeon told me that 7 out of 10 of his new clients are lapband revisions.  7 out of 10! 

I am 5 weeks post-op revision Band to Bypass.  Everything is going perfect.  Sincerely.  I too had the most discomfort at my port-site and even though the incision is mostly healed, there is still a hard knot of scar tissue so it feels as if the port is still there!  I know it's out because they gave it to me in a plastic bag!  

I did the opposite of you - I didn't tell anyone aside from 4 people - that I was having LapBand in 2006.  This time around I am telling everyone who needs to know or who asks.  It is not a secret for me and this has been the most liberating and freeing experience.  Not a single person has been anything other than incredibly supportive and genuinely happy for me.  It allows me to be who I am and to rejoice in my success and look forward to the future in a way that I don't have to hide.  Since I spent so much of my time hiding (what I was eating, my body with masking clothes, not going out with friends because I was embarrassed, the list is endless) I didn't have any pleasure except for food.  Now because it's all out in the open I can talk freely about anything.  No secrets, no lies, no hiding.  It is more incredible than losing the weight. 

Of course you must do what feels right for you.  But don't let fear rule your life!  I truly believe that this time around with this specific tool I am going to succeed.  You can too!

Good luck with your journey - Ashley

I agree that port spot is the most tender. 

Hi Ashley,

I am so glad that you are feeling well. We are so much alike!!! The only people that knew I have a lapband were my immediate family,,,husband, kids, and DIL. This time I'm jgoing through the 6 month program and have already told everyone that would listen. How funny we are!

Keep me posted on your progress. By the time my surgey comes around in late February, you will be completely healed and have lost most of the weight that you want to lose.

Its funny actually as I am a very very private person.  I just remember how when people would ask me about my weightloss (when I was Banded) and I would lie and say oh I'm just paying attention to what I eat and blow it off.  This time around, my psycologist (who I am required to see every 3 months for 2 years in my Bariatric program beginning 2 months prior to surgery) told me that over 8 out 10 patients who come back for revisions kept their surgery a secret from everyone but their immediate family, and that for her the very best thing I could do to ensure my success was to be open and honest about it with people I came into contact with every day.  So while I didn't put up a sign in my front window, I do just answer honestly when asked and I have found the support to be quite helpful.  It's fun to share in the excitement and to share the small victories as well as the obvious ones.  Everyone is different and what works for me doesn't mean it is what other should do of course. But from someone who has done it both ways I've got to say this one is by far the best for me!

I really hope that your surgery goes well for you too - though February seems like a long way from now it'll get here sooner than you think.  It gives you lots of time to prepare.  If you are interested in knowing some of the things I did to prepare for surgery - food prep etc - I'm happy to share.  Just PM me :)

Cheers!