UHC approved Revision...Family disapproves

It's been a while since I've posted on here, but I'm so glad to see that this site is still here.
 
I had the open RNY in 2003, and have lost a total of 78 lbs.  Currently, I weigh 22 lbs less than that I did the morning of my RNY..9 yrs ago.  I never thought that I would ever see this size again.  I know how and why I fell down, I know that I need to start over, but I also would like a little help..surgically.

To make a long story short, I was approved for a revision, I had my surgery date set for Sept. 5th, and I  was ready mentally to do this again.  My new husband (since Nov. 2011), was supportative in the beginning, went with me to the doctor's visits, sat with me while my dates were set up, but over the following days he had a change of heart and decided that he did not want me to go through with the procedure.  WHAT?!   My adult children and the few family friends that I've discussed this with are expressing the same concern.
I was a single mom when I had the RNY, so it was a decision that I made alone, to benefit my life and the lives of my children.  So it was an easy decision for me to make, and I had no regrets.

As you can imagine, I'm devastated.  This was not what I was expecting.  I understand their concerns... about loosing me.  I get it.  I don't want to loose me either. 

In the meantime, I've cancelled my surgery date, I'm back to sleeping with my CPAP equipment nightly, I'm trying to watch what and how much I eat and I'm walking again.  So, why then is my weight still climbing? 
Just stepped on the scale this morning and I've added another 5 lbs since my last dr's visit.  This is very depressing and right now I don't know what to do.

Is it selfish of me to want to go ahead with this surgery inspite of my husband's and family's wishes?  I've met my total out of pocket deductible for the year, so that means 100% covered..next year that will be a diferent story.  This is another reason why I would like to do this now vs. taking the "wait and see" approach that my husband is asking of me.

Any advise?
Disappointed & discouraged in Dallas..

I would say do it for yourself. Your family means well they are probably really worried about your mortality. but you must do what you need to do for yourself. If you are firm in your decsion to do it I am sure they will come around.  I am seeking a revision from Proximal RNY to Distal RNY because of weight gain. No other reason. My pouch size is still acceptable size but I have gained all of my weight back. Not sure what to tell the surgeon as to why I allowed myself to gain it all back, don't want to admit to him that I am just a loser who ate myself out of my surgery. What reasons did you give your surgeon to get approved?

 Do it for your self sweety which will in return be a huge gift for them in the long run. Cause then you can LIVE again and enjoy both your new hubby and family again. I am having my revision on Monday and yes I'm scared to death and so are they but they see that since I've gained my weight that they too have lost out on things cause it's harder for me to do. I wish you the best.

Grrrr it just irks me to no end when other people seem to think they get a vote in my life. You will for sure die young without the revision. I just lost a friend this week who was very obese and was denied surgery years ago so she just kept gaining. Her funeral is next week!!!! Over the last few years she developed heart problems, diabetes and severe arthritis. She was in her 40's! Is that what they want for you??!! Because that is where you are headed!
Since you regained, you might want to get some counceling to make sure you have dealt with that aspect of regain. Then go right ahead and get your surgery because it is YOUR surgery and your life. No one else gets to make the decision for you, it is your choice. So get that surgery scheduled and get it at no cost to you, you deserve it! Tell the naysayers to go pound rocks!

No one can possibly know how you feel but it seems to me that you are the only one who can control your health and well-being.  I am going from band to RNY next Wednesday regardless of what anyone thinks.  My family is scared but supportive and are looking forward to me enjoying life again.

It sounds like you know what you want and should do.  Your husband will come to understand if he loves and cares about you.

Good luck!  Life is short!

 
You are a grown woman.  It is YOUR decision to make, no one else's, not even your husband's.  

I don't think having a life-saving surgery is selfish.  I think if you want it, are approved, have no expenses and are in the mental capacity to have it, it would be foolish not to go through with it.  

That's like you being in the ocean drowning, someone throwing you a life preserver and you pushing it away and saying "nah, I'm good". . . .without the help, at some point, you're going to drown. 

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would do.  I would be on the phone first thing in the morning getting me a new surgery date.  I would also be telling hubby, friends, family and any other naysayers that while I appreciate and understand their concerns, it is my life and my choice and I choose to extend my life by having the surgery.  

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide!

Turtle Lynn


Ditto all the above.
You have to do what is right for YOU!  This is your only life and you need to live it as healhy as you can.

The 100% covered is a great reason to do it NOW.  But YOU are the reason to do it.  You have to let Hubby understand you love him BUT, you have to do what is right for you.  If he truly loves you he has to understand this is your choice.

Best to you and stay strong with your convections.

Thank you all for the words of encouragement.  It is such a relief to be able to discuss my problem with people  who can underdstand exactly what I'm going through. That is why I love this website, it has been a blessing throughout the years.

I've decided to discuss the surgery again with my husband and hopefully I can help him to understand that this is what I feel and believe is best for me. 

I was very surprised that UHC approved my surgery as quickly as they did.  I had a sleep study and a endoscopy done first.  My doctor said he wanted to see what condition my pouch was in.  My pouch hasn't stretched, but my stoma is large.  I have a strong family history of diabetes, both my mom and sister died from diabetic complications before the age of 43, so I guess that probably helped my approval move along faster?  I don't know, but I feel that I have been given another chance to get this right, and I want to be able to try.

And yes, I agree with the counseling suggestion.  Maybe it's a combination of being in a blended family, having a new spouse or life in general, but I need to get a handle on my weight because I know what's waiting for me if I don't.  And that has always been my fear..I don't want to die young like my mom and my sister.

Thanks again to those *****sponded..it really helped. 
And to those who are about to have the revision, I pray for a speedy recovery and much success to all of you.  I will be watching and gathering my courage to hopfully join you soon.

God bless!

I went through the same opposition when I decided to have my revision and you know what?  I could care less.  I decided by myself.  I was miserable and no one got a vote but me.  I did not ask for anyone's permission or approval.  I informed not requested.  I understood their misgivings but I was miserable and I wasn't about to not take any chance to improve my life.  There was no option to me.  Yes, I know it was a risk and that night in the hospital when I was afraid I made a big mistake and that I was possibly going to have major complications I realized what a big chance I took and I regretted it because I my daughter needed me but as I got better I knew I made the right decision.
As others have said, your body, your decision.  Good luck.

 This is your decision, not thiers.