Common Courtesy

Like I have said in many of my posts, I had RNY in 2004 and mostly stayed in the CT forum when it was the old OH and not this new format. I have been on many forums and do not stir up trouble but it is my being that I always go for the underdog. One of the many reasons I became a clinical social worker. I don't believe DS'ers are mean or meaner than any other forum group but  I feel that we need to remember that a lot of people are at different stages in their life and this provess and sometimes can't take the harsh criticism that is dished out to them in the form of advice.  Many people are already dealing with insecurity issues about their self, their looks, and what gaining weight means for them. They don't want to go back to the heavy jane doe. We have all been there when we felt that our tool is just not working for us and should really do something about it. Some people start taking steps right away and others wait years before they approach a doctor about revision but who am I to say either way is wrong.  A 15lb weight loss may not seem like a lot to a person but we need to remember WLS is not only a physical thing, its a psychological one as well. 

I am posting this bc I feel the bickering has gone one long enough. I am not a moderator or adminstrator or shoudl I have to be since we are all adults but please treat your fellow posters with some common courtesy. I am not saying baby them but at least try to understand where they are coming from. 
 

"I am posting this bc I feel the bickering has gone one long enough"

You said you were done about 10 posts ago.  Clearly, you haven't had enough yet.

And no, a 15 lb weight GAIN is not much - and if someone thinks it is, to the extent that they would assume they are entitled to an immediate SECOND revision, it is indeed a psychological problem.  Which is what I said in the first sentence of my post responding to the person I was addressing, WHO WAS NOT YOU, Ms. Amateur Forum Nanny.

Clearly, you not only need to deal with your emotional issues but you should also review U.S. Code where it pertains to harassment by electronic means of communication.  Shall we count the instances?



Beachie

You are hilarial.

And ludicrous.

Not at all. I'm correct. Know the Code section, fought it successfully. 

I really appreciate what you are saying.  I hope I treat people the way I would want to be treated.  I can be kind of blunt when I feel it's appropriate but I try to be as sensitive as possible.
Like what it says in my signature, we are all fighting some kind of battle.  Some of us are just a little less combative then others.

 Well I just got chewed out over at the DS board so I guess they didn't understand what I was trying to say. I myself have been known to be blunt and have had to tone it down sometimes but I would want someone to offer assistance if I am asking for it, especially if they are in a position where they know more. I guess I will keep on trucking along on the boards. 

I wanted to thank you for what you said on the other thread about me.  I honestly didn't read that until after I posted here.
I have a history here and I have been the "victim" of some of that bluntness, at a time I was especially vulnerable.  I know how it feels.  I understand that people think they are helping by not pulling any punches and truthfully there are some people who need that approach.  But there are others who have been through hell and the emotional pain of regain after going through all the pain of WLS is a form of hell.  There are so many hopes and dreams when we have surgery.  It is such a drastic step and the fear of failure is huge.  It is very humiliating to have people know we  had surgery, who watched us lose and are now watching us gain, maybe, we're afraid, gloating.  And to have your biggest fear come true.  Now what?  We did the most drastic thing we could think of, having surgery, and it didn't work.  For many the hope comes back with the dream of a revision, to a better, more successful surgery.  For some of us that isn't possible and we are left without any hope at all to be relieved of this burden of obesity and all the things that come with it.
For some people, who feel like losers and failures and may be physically ill on top of that, it seems especially cruel to see people kicking them when they are already as down as possible, when they are kicking themselves more then anyone else could.  I don't understand how a person who is probably a very nice person IRL, who probably has a family and friends who see them as wonderful, is able to say some of the things that I have seen said.  Not all of us have thick skins.  Look at the people who have been bullied or cyberbullied to the point of suicide.  I couldn't live with myself if I was the person that pushed someone to that act of desperation, all in the name of trying to help them.
Maybe we can't always tell what a person needs to get it together.  Maybe it isn't our job to give someone "tough love" when they don't ask for it.  
Yes, this is a support forum.  But some people have different ideas of support.   They may feel that by being blunt and telling it like it is they are saving a person's life.  I don't know.  I just try to treat people who I hope to be treated when I am down and need help.

 No problem,

You have been beyond kind to me and always answered when I needed a question answered. I completely understand what your saying. I agree with all the cyberbullying going on all you have to do is same one wrong thing to the person that brings them to a place that they can never come back from. I will most likely need help in the upcoming months if I am approved for DS but I want someone to understand that people have their up and down days and its not supposed to be lets treat everyone the same and see who survives. 

I appreciate your post and agree with you 100%!! Everyone is here for support and it is horrible when people attack other people.  Thanks for speaking up for everyone!!!