To Tell or not to Tell, that is the question.

I'm having a revision from lap band to RNY on 9/19. I had my lapband in Sept. 2006. While I didn't tell that many people intially those that I told were supportive. My feelings than as well as now are that telling always feels humiliating and admiting failure. As in I was a failure at all the diets and programs I've tried over my life time that I had to resort to surgery.
  Even though I'm 2 weeks out from surgery at this time I've only told my boss and my bf. I've not told my family as they will not be suportive and just used it as ammunition to mock me. I've not told my staff and probably will only tell them I'm going in the hospital for a few days right before I leave.
  Logically I know I didn't fail at the lapband, it just wasn't the tool for me. Emotionally I feel like not only have I failed at diets I've failed at surgery. I think at this point I'm just looking forward to not throwing all the time excusing myself at luncheons and dinner parties to use the ladies room to throw up etc.
  Anyway, thoughts on whether you told or not and why would be most appreciated.

Personally, I told friends, close family, and co-workers about the original RNY, and now that I am looking into revision I tell people who are interested, my boss and my close friends and family again.  I also have a very supportive circle so your cir****tance may be different.  Only you can decide who to tell. 

Hi Annette

Just like alaja957 I told everyone when I got the crapband and now im doing the same thing for my revision surgery which by the way is the same day as yours.  To be honest I dont really care what anyone had to say about my personal decision.  Just like you I tried with the lapband and just got sick and tired of excusing myself from the table just to throw up.  Before I started my revision journey I use to beat myself up inside at how much I failed at this lapband but realize I didnt.  Its a piece of crap and just didnt work. (my opinion)  One day I was with my twin sister and admit how I felt about my lapband and told her I was thinking of revising and she was like I think you should.  She said actually she think I should have done it a long time ago.  After hearing her say that I went home and spoke to my mom and she said she will support me also.  That was music to my ears because that is when I decided that im going to do this all over again and this time pick the right surgery for me.  My family, boyfriend and job colleagues all support me and pass no judgment because they saw first hand what I went through.  I say do what makes you happy.  This is your life and you only get to do it once so enjoy. 

tell who your comfortable in telling.

i would keep my surgery private if family/friends were unsupportive or dared to mock me.

you need a positive vibe around you, not ones to drag you down - good luck on your upcoming revision.

I told everyone about my RNY back in 2002 but I told NO ONE except friends, some family and a few select co-workers about my revision to the lap band in June.  Bc the weight loss is slow with the band (I've lost 32lbs in 2 mos), its like a diet and no one is questioning it.  With the RNY, I lost 100lbs in 6 mos, so, you would have to have been blind to not notice. I didn't want judgement or questions or any BS this time. I failed.  While my pouch was made too big, I failed. I didn't keep up the exercise, I hurt my back, I ate bigger portions, I didn't fix my head and I drank soad, I failed and I don't need that judgement.

I ONLY TOLD MY CLOSE FAMILY MOM,DAD,GRANDMA ETC AND A FEW FRIENDS UT MY FRIENDS TOLD OTHER PEOPLE AND I WAS UPSET BECAUSE ITS MY PRIVATE BUSY AND IF I WANTED TO TELL PEOPLE I WOULD..I SAY THAT TO SAY I WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE BUT MY MOM,DAD AND BOYFRIEND THIS TIME AROUND IF ITS APPROVED FOR ME TO GET REVISION..I'M HOPING BUT WITH INSURANCE AND THE REASONS TO HAVE IT DONE may not be in my favor. WHAT KIND OF INSURANCE DO YOU HAVE? AND WHAT ARE SOME OF THE REASONS WHY A REVISION WOULD BE NECESSARY?

Hi ceedot, sorry I've been away on a business trip. I have Oxford, (United Health care) insurance. Aside from being almost back to the weight I was before my inital surgery, the biggest reason is the throwing up all the time. My Boss's husband died last year from Esophageal (sp?) cancer. The poor man suffered so much and all I can think is I'm irritating my esophagus so much that I'm putting myself in a positon to suffer the same fate. I have so much pain in my knees and I  seem to fall down an aweful lot probably from being top heavy. Anyway I need to get my weight under control I'd like to be a size 12 once in my life. As a child I went from little girl chubby sizes straight to a woman's 16+. I think in my initial post I put in about the fills and unfills. Fills being $200 a pop!
Good luck with your revision if you choose one.

I too am having a revision surgery on the 19th.  I have a big mouth, so I told many people.  Close friends are happy for me. Others not as close question why this time will be different. So I kind of wish I would have kept my mouth shut & only told a select few.  Funny things is I work with 3 people who didn't tell people.  Everyone gossiped behind their back. So in short people are gonna talk and gossip no matter what you decide.  It makes their day go faster I guess.

Good luck with your surgery!! Your right that people are going to talk no matter what, but I don't like the thought of giveing them ammunition.