BOB Conversation with Mom & Sister; Mom against, Sister indifferent

heathercross
on 5/22/11 5:04 am - New York, NY

I need some positive reinforcement especially after the conversation I just had with both my Mom & Sister.  My mom is dead set against it and my sister is indifferent which ****** me off just as much or more.  My sister, the nurse, who sees everything as black & white and no gray, still doesn't see obesity as a surgery and the first thing she says to me is, "what will you do in 5 yrs when you regain weight".  My mom is more scared about complications.  I think if they can guarantee its done lap, she is fine, her concerns are more about if they open me up to do the band and if I have to spend time in the hospital as hospitals are breeding grounds for infections.  I understand that.  She also feels this surgery, over the RNY, is much more rigid and I won’t be able to follow the guidelines.  Right now, I'm just really really low.

nkara
on 5/22/11 6:16 am
 My mother and grandmother are in the same boat.  They weren't happy that I had the band surgery in the first place and want me to just have it removed. I want a revision.  I told them it is my decision and I have to do what I feel comfortable with.  I'm sick of being overweight and uncomfortable and I know after 42 years I can not loose weight and keep it off on my own.  I'm starting the process of revision and if I am approved by my insurance I will go forward with it. 
Stick to what you know is best for YOU not them.  

 Realize Band 11/2009 ... revision to RNY 12/27/11. 

     


Holly O.
on 5/24/11 10:54 pm - Bradenton, FL
 I know family can be difficult.  I had the band 5 yrs. ago and my family no that I am having a revision....period!!  I am simply going to leave out the part of having the RNY.......just having a revision because there was a problem with the band.  They worry...........and I don't want them to worry.  My husband and in-laws are very supportive and I am very very close to them...........so I will have them for support.  My mom died of many, many complications 3 yrs. ago due to diabeties.........diaylsis, blind, amputations.........you name it........heart disease.  So they support me...........but my siblings.........all 5 of them just worry..........they want me to be healthy.....when I said revision they were happy about that.  It's hard.........I pray that you find an inner peace with your decision...because ultimately it is your personal decision.  -Holly

  
 

heathercross
on 5/24/11 11:03 pm - New York, NY
Hey Holly....That's my sisters name, the non-supportive one!  LOL.  When I had the Gastric Bypass back in 2002, my sister, mom and husband (now ex) were all supportive. I also spent a lot of time on these boards and going to support group that I found support in many different places.  Thankfully, I've kept in touch with close to a dozen people locally who had surgery at Lenox Hill in NYC and they are still a big part of my life.  Some have kept the weight off, others have not.  In addition, apparently, I was a big support to others (calls, visiting them in the hopsital, etc) that I got the pay if forward in spades and now people are coming out of the woodwork to help me (I was a regular on these boards from 2002-2005).  While not religious, I thank  God for those people in my life.  This time, I wouldn't have the support of a spouse (he was amazing post surgery and post plastics) but I hope to rely on my friends who are my family.  I also know that what made me successful for the first 6 yrs was that support from friends, family and support groups, so, I will take advantage of anything and everything I can get my hands on.

Thanks for sharing your story.  We collectively are more than anyone can ask for
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