Let this woman know that she is not alone with Band problems PLEASE!!!

I hate that when we have issues with our Bands that we are made to feel like the evil step child.  It was even implied that this woman was a troll - WTF!  I remember her when she was very active on the Lap Band forum.  She needs support not to be put in a position to feel worse.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/lapband/4356709/Have-you-had-problems-with-the-band/

Thank you

In case the "troll" mention above was in reference to my post (I think I'm the only one who used that terminology), let me be clear: "troll" is a term used in online communities to refer to people who visit forums with the intention of creating drama, starting fights, etc.and my use of it was NOT in reference to the original poster.

I was apologizing on behalf of the people on the board who met her post with suspicion (instead of the sympathy she deserved) as a result of their frequent need to defend themselves AGAINST trolls.  I wanted to point out that the person who posted questioning her motivation for sharing her story most likely did so because she was wary of having more anti-band people coming in who aren't interested in support, but are simply posting horror stories to scare away newbies.  They get a lot of them over there, so I'm sure you can understand where they'd start to get paranoid after a while.

Though I understand the drive to want to save people the heartache and difficulties of getting the lapband, those who are poking around there just to post links to horror stories are only angering the people who already have the band and are going in there for support.  As a result, they're becoming suspicious of new bandsters who actually ARE in need of support, which is sad

~Let me be clear: "troll" is a term used in online communities to refer to people who visit forums with the intention of creating drama, starting fights~

This seems to describe YOUR behavoir! Zee was not referring to you. You have told me to stay off the band forum...........what are you doing on the revision forum? You haven't had WLS right?

~Though I understand the drive to want to save people the heartache and difficulties of getting the lapband, those who are poking around there just to post links to horror stories are only angering the people who already have the band and are going in there for support.~

First of all..............I have as much right as any other bandster or former bandster to post on the band forum! Second of all.............IF THERE WEREN'T SO MANY BAND HORROR STORIES, THEN THERE WOULD BE NOTHING TO POST NOW WOULD THERE?! I don't make that **** up! It's what happened to me.............it's what happened to other bandsters! And so sorry you object to me posting stats as well! How horrible of me! lol

I don't care if it ****** them off when I post MY BAND EXPERIENCE! Others that are considering the band have a right to know that things like that happen!

Now just go get your band and stop worrying about what I post!

I never told you to stay off the band forum, Maria... you're putting words in my mouth.  I asked you, as others have, to refrain from the constant reminders about how the band doesn't work out for everyone on a forum that's intended primarily for people who already have it.  

If I had a band and frequented that forum for support, reading your posts would start making me nervous about the potential that mine was a ticking time bomb... it would stress me out, it would make me uneasy, anxious, etc..  I think the weight loss journey is difficult enough without having to worry that you made a poor choice that you're going to pay for (possibly literally) later on.   

It's one thing to chime in and share your own experience when someone puts up a post seeking support because they're going through something similar... that's when it's absolutely called for and makes sense; sharing your own story shows sympathy and empathy... that's when it would be appropriate and a welcome addition to the conversation.

It's another thing entirely to start new threads with titles like "Considering the band?" (clearly intended for pre-op newbies) and then proceed to warn about the horrors of what happens when the band goes wrong.  I understand wanting to help people avoid the troubles you and others have had and I'm even thankful that in a round about way, your posts sparked the conversation I had with Bubble that helped me dodge that bullet.

BUT even so, I don't know that the benefits of your confrontational methods outweigh the risks as it's the bandsters who are really in crisis who are suffering because of it. It's not fair to the people (like LaWanda) who go in there genuinely looking for support, but because of the constant negativity and paranoia from those who are already banded, people who are genuinely in need of support are instead met with suspicion and paranoia.  It's like the saying goes, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions".  There is an unintended side effect to your posts... paranoia is settling in to the bandsters in that forum and they're taking it out not only on you, but on others who post with problems.

To be clear, I don't think you're a villain or a bad person... I'm not on here to attack you or to turn you into an enemy, I'm trying to point out that the more confrontational you are, the more likely your warnings are to fall on deaf ears and the quicker you'll gain a reputation as someone to ignore or block.

If you truly want to make a difference in convincing people that the band is a poor choice, then I would recommend taking the one-on-one approach that Bubble did with me.  If you see a newbie on the forum that you feel hasn't done their research, send them a private message and share your personal story that way... give them the links to the research there, keep it personal, keep it on the down low and you won't give the already banded folks any reason to criticize you and hopefully after not feeling put on the defensive regularly, they'll let down their guards a bit and will be less paranoid of folks who come in looking for advice on complications.

Again, as I said, I have nothing against you, Maria... I'm a lover, not a fighter .  I see the merits to the message you're trying to get across, but I think you need to revisit your strategy for getting it across in a way that's less upsetting to those who are already banded.  Make it a one-on-one conversation and I think you'll find you're more successful more often.

And no, I haven't had WLS yet... I'm canceling my band surgery on the 29th and am attending a seminar that will include info on the sleeve on Wednesday.

Actually u did tell me not to post on there............then u changed it to "asking me not to".

Now u want to criticize me me for starting a post saying "considering the band?" and posting a study.  I could care less. Most OTHER pre-ops appriciate reading that info!

Then u want to blame ME b/c OTHERS trashed some poor lady that posted with her band problems! REALLY?!  Lol. I did not trash her. Someone else did and there was NO excuse for that!

Furthermore...............If u read her post..........U know that she had her band a long time. She also stated that she knew how others had gotten trashed when they posted THEIR band problems on the BAND forum! So it took that poor woman years to post her band problems b/c she knew how hatefull some of the bandsters on there can be. Then what happens.................She gets trashed! By me? NO! But yet u blame ME! And btw...................the bandster bashing has been going on for years on this forum from what I have been told. It was occuring when I started.................and it occured long before. I did NOT cause it! It is b/c some morons don't want to hear anything they don't agree with on the band forum! The other WLS forums on OH are NOT like that. They may fight with OTHER WLS'S but they don't fight amongst theirselves.

Oh and btw................I was exactly like that OP yesterday that posted with a problem! I had a legitimate band problem and went to the band forum for support and was **** on!

And as far as your note about what I should do (love the way u know everything I SHOULD do!). U stated that I should take a one on one approach and PM them. Well let me tell u what happens.................THE OTHER BANDSTERS TRASH ME IF I DO THAT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a NO win situation on the band forum! So what's your next suggestion for me now?!

*sigh*

Okay, Maria... you win.  Clearly you have no interest in accepting my olive branch and moving on, so perhaps it's best if I do.

Good luck with your revision.

No, I was not referring to you at all.  I did not even see your post.

You need not explain that forum to me, I've been around for about 7 years.

Good luck  with whatever surgery you are getting or have.

Zee it breaks my heart that bandsters come there seeking support with their band problems and ppl like that ATTACK them! There is NO excuse for that!

That poor woman was already reluctant to come on there and post b/c she had seen how previous posters were treated when they had band problems!

If only ppl on the band forum realize what the post would look like if so many ppl WEREN'T afraid to post on their own forum!

The band forum is the reason I deactivated my first account on here, and did a mass exodus from OH completely when I was having band issues, and was chronically "blamed" for failing my band, and was point blank told that it was all in my head ! ! ! I can't for the life of me understand why the few that love their band have complete disregard for the true statistical information out there on the band, and the slew of complications that come with band life.

I personally refuse to post on the band forum anymore. I'll be honest, I'm a pretty good poster child for VSG, and personally thinks it ****** people off that I have it easy with my sleeve. Weight loss was effortless, quick and hard loss, maintenance was a little a tricky to get down but that's because I continued to lose for another 4 months. Well, here I am nearly a year into maintenance, and have zero issues with my sleeve. I'll take the effortless maintenance over puking on water and chronic pain any day of the week that I experienced with the band

I know what u mean. I am constantly blamed as being the problem on the band forum. They refuse to aknowledge that the band IS the problem. Wish NO restriction.........HOW THE HELL DO THEY GET THAT THE BAND IS WORKING??? (And that's after 16 fills!)

If we post problems on the band forum we are told we are "scaring newbies". Well perhaps they should be scared! I would have been scared too if someone told me in advance what the band was really like!