OT: Bipolar I is a ***** and this ***** ain't dying!
I am majorly stressed out and depressed and have been for the last month.
No matter what I do or say I just cannot get out of this little rut I am in right now.
I know that eventually I will, but right now it just has me in the deepest grip.
Therapy and medication is making it a little better to cope with, but it is not working fast enough for me and is not a miracle of any sort.
It is a work in progress though so I am still holding out hope.
I am stressing due to an upcoming apartment move that takes place on 12/16/09.
I am moving from one apartment to another and am in the middle of packing and the whole thing has just overwhelmed me to the core.
I know that it is not the end of the world, but it is totally freaking me out and no matter what I say or do I just can’t stop stressing.
I know the main reason is I miscalculated horribly the amount of funds that I would need to move and have gotten myself into a financial bind that I will have to get out of with the help of my family (Mom and Dad).
That in itself has caused me to be stressed as I hate hate hate asking them for anything because I never want to be known as the one who always ask for assistance.
I often hear them talking about other members of the family in that way and I never wanted to be that person.
This is one of those times though where I have no freaking choice and I have to ask for help and that is really not ok with me.
I also am overwhelmed by all of the things that I have to move from my 2nd floor apt to a 3rd floor apt up the highway from here.
I used one of those move for free companies in finding my apt, but did not read the fine print.
Since my new apt is not over $650.00 a month they will not move me for free, but are only issusing a $100.00 credit toward the move and I have to come up with $125.00 and that only covers 2 1/2 hours of the movers time. Any additional time is my responsibility at $22.50 per 15 minutes or $90.00 per hour with no minimums.
I did not realize how much stuff I had for a single person with a 4 pound Chihuahua living in a one bedroom 800 sq ft apt.
I have no attachment to anything except photos and the electronics and furniture so a part of me just wants to throw it all away so I do not have to deal with it.
I know deep inside that is not the answer, but it is how I feel.
I have two weeks so I do have time, but it just feels like it is all caving in on me today.
I feel better already just writing it down so I know that it will get better.
I am going to get through this, but I am going to have to work my ass off.
One of the reasons I am moving is because the apt I am in now is a financial drain on me as they are older and the ac/heater units are old as dirt and my electric bill was always $250.00 a month and the maintenance here never repair anything in a timely manner.
I am hoping that when I move I will be in a better place emotionally and financially.
A change of scenery will do the trick.
I hope you all are doing well and are in good spirits.
I also hope the weight loss is going well for all of you.
I am still sitting still at a 40 pound weight loss since 10-09-09.
I am slowly, but surely going to get to goal.
I just need to get past this depression hurdle.
I know that I can and I will.
I know that I am totally blessed to even be alive or have a family to even be going through this temporary setback with so believe me I know I am blessed and do not take that for granted.
No matter what I do or say I just cannot get out of this little rut I am in right now.
I know that eventually I will, but right now it just has me in the deepest grip.
Therapy and medication is making it a little better to cope with, but it is not working fast enough for me and is not a miracle of any sort.
It is a work in progress though so I am still holding out hope.
I am stressing due to an upcoming apartment move that takes place on 12/16/09.
I am moving from one apartment to another and am in the middle of packing and the whole thing has just overwhelmed me to the core.
I know that it is not the end of the world, but it is totally freaking me out and no matter what I say or do I just can’t stop stressing.
I know the main reason is I miscalculated horribly the amount of funds that I would need to move and have gotten myself into a financial bind that I will have to get out of with the help of my family (Mom and Dad).
That in itself has caused me to be stressed as I hate hate hate asking them for anything because I never want to be known as the one who always ask for assistance.
I often hear them talking about other members of the family in that way and I never wanted to be that person.
This is one of those times though where I have no freaking choice and I have to ask for help and that is really not ok with me.
I also am overwhelmed by all of the things that I have to move from my 2nd floor apt to a 3rd floor apt up the highway from here.
I used one of those move for free companies in finding my apt, but did not read the fine print.
Since my new apt is not over $650.00 a month they will not move me for free, but are only issusing a $100.00 credit toward the move and I have to come up with $125.00 and that only covers 2 1/2 hours of the movers time. Any additional time is my responsibility at $22.50 per 15 minutes or $90.00 per hour with no minimums.
I did not realize how much stuff I had for a single person with a 4 pound Chihuahua living in a one bedroom 800 sq ft apt.
I have no attachment to anything except photos and the electronics and furniture so a part of me just wants to throw it all away so I do not have to deal with it.
I know deep inside that is not the answer, but it is how I feel.
I have two weeks so I do have time, but it just feels like it is all caving in on me today.
I feel better already just writing it down so I know that it will get better.
I am going to get through this, but I am going to have to work my ass off.
One of the reasons I am moving is because the apt I am in now is a financial drain on me as they are older and the ac/heater units are old as dirt and my electric bill was always $250.00 a month and the maintenance here never repair anything in a timely manner.
I am hoping that when I move I will be in a better place emotionally and financially.
A change of scenery will do the trick.
I hope you all are doing well and are in good spirits.
I also hope the weight loss is going well for all of you.
I am still sitting still at a 40 pound weight loss since 10-09-09.
I am slowly, but surely going to get to goal.
I just need to get past this depression hurdle.
I know that I can and I will.
I know that I am totally blessed to even be alive or have a family to even be going through this temporary setback with so believe me I know I am blessed and do not take that for granted.
Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Dear Tina, you really poured your heart out in your post, and while I hear the stress I also hear an incredible amount of insight. It sounds like you are making sure you are taking your meds, but it is possible with your bipolar that the stress is knocking you into a mini-cycle. As you know getting enough sleep and eating right will help but sometimes you just have to be patient with yourself and wait out the cycle. You also mentioned not wanting to be like those other people and not wanting to be known as "someone who is always asking for assistance". First of all you are not like those other people because you are aware of you actions. Asking for help because of real need is not a weakness but a virtue. Accepting bipolar is just as important as accepting having diabetes. Sometimes you need help, its just a fact! You made a $125 mistake... at least you didn't sign over you next female offspring!! LOL. You have two weeks .Make a list of what absolutely needs to be done, then ASK for all the help you need. Forget about weight loss, the body holds on when stressed. Once you're settled it will start coming off again.
NEVER TOO LATE TO BEE HAPPY!!!! 
Hi Teena. I've been watching your posts and wanted to wish you luck and encourage you to stay strong. I hate moving too.
It can be nerve racking. Have you thought about asking the new apt manager/leasing spec if another apt has become available on a lower floor? Or even asking your current apt manager if you could stay put or move to another unit in complex? No harm in asking. 
Women sometimes feel safer on higher floors but if you find an area where you feel safe, maybe a lower floor will be okay. If all that doesn't work, ask some friends over to help you or just get rid of some things. You've already mentioned there is no real attachment to some of your things. Might be a great time to de-clutter and save for a different look later. Donate some things to charity, call a few friends/mom to help you pack and sort.I know you do not like to ask your parents for help but they would not want to see you suffer. Just make it a point to pay them back if it is really a thorn in your side. Or later this summer or next fall, give them a vacation or equal value gift (Vegas vacation, short cruise from Galveston, weekend vacation to the third coast-Port Aransas/Galveston, etc).
As far as the weight loss, maybe your body is adjusting to the new surgery and is in starvation survival mode. Maybe you can reassess your menu/diet and exercise regime, if you have one. Maybe it will ease your mind.
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you to hang in there.
ThaFatChick 
I so prefer the thrid floor for my safety.
See my post below
See my post below
Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Thank you all so much for the support.
I am happy to report that last night I went to parents for dinner and we talked.
I did not want to ask them for help, but I did and it is all resolved and they will be able to help me out with paying the movers.
Woosah!!!
I am now relaxed and back on track.
Depression is still here, but it is a lot better since the major stressor is resolved.
I go see the Psychiatrist on Thursday for possible medication adjustment.
I also wanted to add that I did make a comment about my current weight loss, but it was merely to update everyone as I just had a revision on October 9, 2009.
I by no means am concerened with my weight loss at this time as that was the least of my issues.
I know I am loosing and my droopy ass titties and booty and clothes know that I am loosing.
How fast or how much is not an issue at all for me as I am going with the flow as this is my 2nd Rodeo.
I just wanted to add that because some people were emailing me thinking I was depressed over the weight loss and that was not the case.
I want to thank all of you for sharing and for supporting me.
I truly appreciate each and every one of you.
I hope you all have an absolutely fabulous day.
See ya on Face Book!
I am happy to report that last night I went to parents for dinner and we talked.
I did not want to ask them for help, but I did and it is all resolved and they will be able to help me out with paying the movers.
Woosah!!!
I am now relaxed and back on track.
Depression is still here, but it is a lot better since the major stressor is resolved.
I go see the Psychiatrist on Thursday for possible medication adjustment.
I also wanted to add that I did make a comment about my current weight loss, but it was merely to update everyone as I just had a revision on October 9, 2009.
I by no means am concerened with my weight loss at this time as that was the least of my issues.
I know I am loosing and my droopy ass titties and booty and clothes know that I am loosing.
How fast or how much is not an issue at all for me as I am going with the flow as this is my 2nd Rodeo.
I just wanted to add that because some people were emailing me thinking I was depressed over the weight loss and that was not the case.
I want to thank all of you for sharing and for supporting me.
I truly appreciate each and every one of you.
I hope you all have an absolutely fabulous day.
See ya on Face Book!
Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
Facebook Contact Info/Email address:Skyedan[email protected]
10/09/09 - Distal Gastric Bypass (ERNY) Revision - Common Channel 90
"Never Let People,Places,Or Things Stand In Your Way Of Fulfilling Your Goals And Living Out Your Dreams." Teena Adler
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