DH is against revision
I am in the process of having a revision to my RNY. My insurance will pay for it, and I have started to do the necessary work that the program requires.
My husband was very supportive of my RNY three years ago. He has been just great ever since then. He has even tried to calm me down when I freak out about not getting near goal and then gaining back almost 50 lbs. over the last year.
He has told me that he does not want me to have the revision. In his opinion, the risks just aren't worth it. He is (very delicately) saying that I have lost some weight before with surgery, and proved I "couldn't stick with it" so this time will be no different. He is also concerned about the elevated risks.
We don't have the kind of relationship where either one of us tells the other what to do, so this is new for me.
Has anyone else experienced this?
My husband was very supportive of my RNY three years ago. He has been just great ever since then. He has even tried to calm me down when I freak out about not getting near goal and then gaining back almost 50 lbs. over the last year.
He has told me that he does not want me to have the revision. In his opinion, the risks just aren't worth it. He is (very delicately) saying that I have lost some weight before with surgery, and proved I "couldn't stick with it" so this time will be no different. He is also concerned about the elevated risks.
We don't have the kind of relationship where either one of us tells the other what to do, so this is new for me.
Has anyone else experienced this?
On October 15, 2009 at 11:22 AM Pacific Time, Brenda M. wrote:
I am in the process of having a revision to my RNY. My insurance will pay for it, and I have started to do the necessary work that the program requires.My husband was very supportive of my RNY three years ago. He has been just great ever since then. He has even tried to calm me down when I freak out about not getting near goal and then gaining back almost 50 lbs. over the last year.
He has told me that he does not want me to have the revision. In his opinion, the risks just aren't worth it. He is (very delicately) saying that I have lost some weight before with surgery, and proved I "couldn't stick with it" so this time will be no different. He is also concerned about the elevated risks.
We don't have the kind of relationship where either one of us tells the other what to do, so this is new for me.
Has anyone else experienced this?
What a sweetie pie of a man you've got! YOU are his main concern and he obviously doesn't want to risk losing you! ..... But, you know that ultimately it is YOUR decision; your body and your future.
Education is power and is the key to feeling peace with any decision. Drag him along to all your seminars, doc appts, etc Have him read the same literature that you get ahold of. Research all of your revision options so you know which would be safest and best for you. Get opinions from at least a couple of surgeons or at least from some post-ops who have had said surgeon and said procedure!
Perhaps, once he learns the actual stats and sees how important your personal feelings about your weight are, then maybe he'll jump on board for the total support package he has offered you in the past?!!!
Good luck! Study, study, study!..... Maybe a more malabsorptive procedure would be better for you so that it balances out with a "few" poor food choices? Get on board with support groups and possibly some therapy. Then your head can be completely in the game to help you realize your success!
Joyce Rny 2/11/03-> ERny 12/26/07-> Duodenal Switch 5/12/2010
www.dsfacts.com , www.dssurgery.com , & www.duodenalswitch.com
Hi Brenda,
I am in the same boat. I have an upcoming revision on the 27th, and my husband isn't on my side. I have been discussing it with him for months, but I don't think he will ever be 100% ok with the idea. My first surgery took no convinsing at all. But because I gained the weight back, he thinks this time is a total waste and I will be right back here 2 years from now. I am going through with it anyways, and he is coming too. He just wants me to be happy (as your husband does as well) but our husbands have no clue what it is like and can't relate to how we feel. All we can do is ask for their support, not their permission.
I am in the same boat. I have an upcoming revision on the 27th, and my husband isn't on my side. I have been discussing it with him for months, but I don't think he will ever be 100% ok with the idea. My first surgery took no convinsing at all. But because I gained the weight back, he thinks this time is a total waste and I will be right back here 2 years from now. I am going through with it anyways, and he is coming too. He just wants me to be happy (as your husband does as well) but our husbands have no clue what it is like and can't relate to how we feel. All we can do is ask for their support, not their permission.
I am having my revision from LB to RNY tomorrow and I didn't say anything to my husband until last Friday because I knew wwhat he thought. Well needless to say ho freaked out wouldn't talk to me said I should have told him long before I had a surgery date. He thinks there are too many complications but doesn't understand how I feel everyday, he would rather me have the LB. I hate the LB this is my second and it just is not working for me, between slips, infections and overfills it just is too much maintanence. I can't wait till tomorrow, he now is OK with it and were at least talking about it, they just need to understand how we feel. I know he cares and loves me but please let me make this decision I'm the one that has to live with it.
Marie485
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