7yrs out and I'm a failure again

Alright , this is the story. I had a Roux-en-y done 7 years ago an now I'm regaining the weight. I can't believe it's happening again. I actually thought Ihad this obesity stuff beat but once again , I've failed. I will never be free from this curse and I'm so frustrated. I called the doctor who did the surgery and spoke to his nurse who assured me that it wasn't the surgery that failed but me the patient ( I was already depressed but by the time I was done speaking to her I felt suicidal-"no I'm not going to do it !") but talk about feeling like garbage again. I think back on the surgery and realize that I went from 315 down to only 170 lbs before regaining again. She didn't even mention revision , she told me that they usually suggest patients go to Weigh****chers or something like that ....WHAT ? Do you mean to tell me that I did all of this just to end up back on this diet merry go round again ? I didn't go out and start pigging out again or start eating crazy but she didn't even discuss this all she did was suggest Weigh****chers....I feel like crap .
Thanks for letting me vent, I'm sick with the flu right now and feeling helpless and hopeless too , maybe I am a failure .

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

I know first hand how this all feels as I felt the same way when I started my revision journey.

Your story is similar to mine minus the fact that no one talked to me like that or made me feel that my weight gain was my fault as I truly do have a mechanical failure(gastro gastric fistula) that caused my weight gain.

I want to assure you that unless they have performed all of the WLS diagnostic testing such as EGD, Upper GI, etc that hooker has no way of knowing what the weight gain is from and cannot in good conscience sit there and blame or criticize you.

Sorry I called her a hooker, but her comment to you has me hella pissed.

I know that there are a lot of people who went in WLS thinking it was going to do all of the work for them and that they did not have to change their bad habits (soda, excess drinking, unhealthy eating habits, lack of excersise etc) and that is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

I had to change everything about me from my thinking, my routine, my mindset about food, I had to learn that until I loved myself no one else would,I had to find ways to make me feel whole so that I did not eat myself to death again, I had to learn to let go of my past and accept it as in my past so that I could have a future,etc.

I am not gonna go on and on, but if you redeveloped your bad habits (not necessarily food related) over the years admit it and dust yourself off and don't beat yourself up about it.

Use this time to determine if you do have a mechanical failure, do a personal inventory of yourself to determine if you have bad habits that may have contributed to your weight gain, research options available to you and then hug yourself and know that you are in the right place for support.

You need to know that if your issues are food related that until you deal with what is making you eat that you will always have this issue.

I know first hand as I went through that in the beginning of my journey in 2002 and I started therapy and I no longer eat my emotions.

I eat to live and no longer live to eat.

I had to heal what was broken on the inside of me so that I could be whole on the inside and outside.

You can do nothing about the past except learn from it and prepare for a better future.

It sounds like you need to start looking for a different surgeon as that nurse sounds toxic and condescending.

Start doing your research.

Ask all the questions you need and go to as many surgeons as you need so that you can find the best qualified and the right fit for you.

Welcome to the revision board.

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!!!!

I am sorry you are depressed, but I hope that when you get better that you use this experience as your motivator to get what you want.

Use that hooker's comments to get you mad enough to do something about the weight you have gained no matter what avenue you choose to pursue.

Good luck.

I hope you feel better soon.

Teena,
I sat down and read your reply and it brought tears to my eyes because your words were my words ! I didn't go crazy and return to my old ways and I didn't admit how I felt until yesterday when it dawned on me that I felt like I had failed again. Your words made me realize that I need to get angry and get prepared to fight the battle once again for a healthier life. I did really think this would be my last time of walking through this nightmare that had destroyed my life for over the past 30 plus years..
I am mad now because your right , how dare that woman who had never even met me make me feel like a failure. There are times when I can be such a strong woman but when it comes to this subject , I'm so use to feeling like a failure that I fell back into this pattern. Like you said "I too was an emotional eater" but that was behind me , I actually was able to conquer that with therapy and  didn't use food as a band aid anymore so none of this makes sense. I did develope health issues but didn't address them with the surgeon because after surgery , I became just another dollar sign that had walked in the door. It was all about money with him because he had a booming practice that turned into a "get em in get em out "buisness. When the insurance wouldn't fork over anymore money , you didn't get anymore of his time. So I was out on my own 4 months after the surgery.
I did the research on my own and learned what I needed to do , what I needed to avoid and what I needed to watch out for. I went into this well researched in what I needed to do and even in doing it , it failed me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I obeyed "the rules" because I wanted this to work so badly .
Feeling lost and like I failed again, I came to this board yesterday and realized I wasn't alone. I discovered the regain may have been beyond my control and that I could get back up again !
Thanks for waking me up and making me realize that I never did lose that much weight before I started to regain it again. You made me "fully think this through" and that's what I needed to do . 
Thanks for your kind words. God has blessed you with the ability to help others and I thank you for being there when I needed you !!!!!
One more request Teena , could you just point me in the direction of what I need to do to get a revision and I'll fight it from there ? Any help would be so appreciated !
Brenda

Brenda,

Thank you for writing me back.

I understand what you are going through more than you know.

My original surgeons office  was the same way as yours was "A Cash Cow".

I am glad that you are now angry and got your fight back in you.

When you get better from the flu you need to get busy trying to get your life back together.

Get busy calling your primary care physician to have them refer you to a GI doctor so that diagnostic testing can be done.

The ones I had done was the Upper GI w/small bowel  series and EGD, but your doctor will tell you which ones they want to do, but I do know the Upper GI is crucial.

You will need to start researching surgeons as well because you should not have to go back to that doctor especially the way his nurse treated you.

When you schedule an appoint with a surgeon they will want you to do a Upper GI and EGD so it kind of works well if you do it prior so you have it available so there is no delay.

Some people may tell you to find the surgeon first and then go from there, but it is up to you.

I was extremely hard on myself too after the weight gain.

I could not for the life of me figure out why for 6 yrs I was healthy, skinny, and successful and then I gained some weight back.

I was very angry at myself and I got very depressed and self conscious.
I stopped doing the things that made me happy and I started distancing myself from my friends and family.

When I stopped feeling sorry for myself I realized that I needed to find out why this has happened.

Low and behold there was a legitimate reason and it was a gastro gastric fistula.

It wasn't my fault.

Now I am working like there is no tomorrow to get my life back and get my repair and revision surgery.

No one is going to win this fight for you, but you so it is all up to you.

With the support and motivation that you will get from everyone on here and your family and friends I know you can do it.

When you get better get ready to put in some work girlie.

It may be overwhelming, but just prioritize, pray, and know that there is a pay off.

Keep your eye on the prize and no matter what.

Do or Die!!!

NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOURSELF OR GETTING YOUR LIFE BACK....

Good luck!

 I will repeat what Teena already has said....YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE....YOUR SURGERY FAILED YOU!

My suggestion to you is "totally disregard the ignorant staff of your previous surgeon" and go find another surgeon!  and if that one doesn't fit for you...find another!  One who will listen to you and your needs and support you in maintaining health!  Do not take this girls careless and callous words as truth.  You more then likely have a mechanical failure going on.  Get the testing done as the other post has mentioned and go from there.  

Good luck.  Let us know how you make out.

Thank you for renewing my spirit with your kind words. As soon as I feel better , I'm going to tackle this head on and all guns a blazin !!!!!!!!! Look out world, here I come again !
God Bless,
Brenda

Now with this being our day , I have a question that maybe you other post-op ladies can help me with. I'm a 3 yr out girl and have lost 140 lbs (give or take 10lbs here or there) but within the last year (here's where you guys might want to close your eyes or turn away) I've been plagued every month ot two like clockwork with yeast infections. At first as all you ladies know they were bothersome but now their getting horrific ! I'm starting to beleive with the weightloss and all the extra skin on my thigh area , there's not enough room for proper air flow and it's become a breeding ground for these infections ! I've always been extremely body consious and am still to this day , I shower daily so it's not from being dirty or anything like that. Has anyone else been botherd by this problem ? My doctor has said I may have to have that skin removed and I just want to see if this is a common problem ?

I had and have problems with yeast.  I had that before the surgery and it continue post op.  Not as bad as you describe - but that's because I do not let it go that far.  You need to see a dermatologist - so he can help you deal with that.   Document the skin problems so maybe one  day - you can have insurance to pay for the extra skin removal.
What you describe reminds me of systematic candida infection (google that)
How do I deal with the yeast infections:
1. probiotics - I try to take the regularly
2. garlic pills and other natural supplements against candida (you can google that)
3. Avoid food that make it worse  - and post RNY - that is easy - sugar, carbs, etc.

Now with a help of a doc and pharmacy I do the following:
1. use anti-fungal cream (prescription or over the counter)
2. use cortisone cream during flare up - to reduce the itch and inflammation.
2. use prescription anti fungal medication (I take diflucan)
3. use anti-fungal shampoo - prescription or over the counter (nizoral)

Also - try to stay dry - use natural fiber clothing as much as possible.

Does it help - absolutely.  Do I still deal with that - yes - I was just to my doc and the dry "patches" on my face - he diagnosed as dermatitis due to yeast - so I have to deal with that.  And this time - I am planning to really deal with it - so it will go away for a while at least. 

Yeast is everywhere - and once we get candida - it becomes almost chronic issue I learn to deal with.  

One way I can know for sure that I have yeast overgrowth - is carbs cravings - once I take a couple a diflucans (1 every 3 days) - the cravings go away and i feel more like myself. 

You're only a failure when you give up and stop fighting the battle!  You're not gonna go down on the first punch are you?  Come on....I'm sure it wasn't a cakewalk to your first surgery -- you had to have had some tough fights and dealt with some bottleneck naysayers like this so-called "nurse" that you are dealing with!  But you endured and fought through it all to get what you felt was the best solution for you!  You can't just forget about all that now, throw up your hands, and cry "uncle"!!  You have to get up, brush yourself off, and start the fight again!!  We all know that this is a lifelong battle and that no matter how hard we hoped or worked at it, even WLS is not the magic bullet!   

Yes, it's discouraging and disappointing to be back in a situation that you never ever thought you'd be in again!  I know....I had RNY 6/4/2003 140 lbs., recently (and quickly) regained 80 and am now scheduled for a revision on Monday 9/14.  I was reasonably compliant in my eating even long-term post-op and vigilant with exercise.  So, I too was very, very discouraged and honestly felt like I was the failure.  But I started the process, went back to see my surgeon, had some tests done (Barium Upper GI and Endoscopy) and lo and behold discovered that I had a significantly dilated stoma that was the cause of the weight gain.  It wasn't me after all or anything that I did wrong!  It was, in fact, one of those things that they tell you can happen before you have the surgery that you pretty much pooh pooh at the time because you're certain that it would never happen to you!!  But it did happen to me and it, or something else, might have happened to you too!  Get it checked out...do your research...keep your head down and ignore the naysayers!  Do again what you think is best for you and your health! 

I wish you well in the next phase of your journey and I am certain that I will see you too again on the lighter side!!

Warmest regards,
Sharon

God Bless you! I'm so glad you were guided back to this community for support. You're not a failure! Most of us have been courageously fighting this battle for decades. It takes tremendous courage, resiliancy and determination to continue to fight the good fight to make the right food choices & trigger our metabolism into action.

I so understand how you're feeling! I had my Lap-Band removed in July 08 and promptly regained all of the weight. My surgeon suggested that I meet with their dietician - a very young skinny girl, who asked me with a shocked tone in her voice, "What happened?!" - it was all I could do keep from screaming at her, "What do you THINK happened!"

I've spend the last year, researching and learning all I can about chronic obesity. I feel like I finally understand that this is a metabolic condition -- it's a lifetime condition. It's not because I'm flawed, have unresolved childhood issues, am lazy or dumb. My body sends me continual signals to eat. It's incessant. And my body is a champ at storing fat. This is brought about by a complex system of neuroendocrine, neurological and metabolic imbalances.

Revisional sugery will give me a boost, but I'm realilzing now, it will be a journey of a lifetime. I hope  to use the gift of a revision to assist me in making long-term changes.

I know of so many people who have experienced regain several years out of their surgery. Some of them have had revisions. I'm hoping to revise to RNY.

Here are two amazing video programs about obesity & overeating. I hope they will help you move into a place of compassion & understanding about this very complex condition that we have. On the surface it seems so simple. Eat less, move more. But it's very complex. This doesn't mean that we cannot be successful, it's just that our strategy may need to shift & change over time based upon the present challenges.

Fat: What No One's Telling You (PBS)

The End of Overeating - Dr. David Kessler

I'm sending prayers that you connect with a team that can support & help you continue your amazing success. You deserve support, compassion and enthusiastic celebration!

With Light and Blessings!

 
starrgirrl GREAT post!  Seems only those who have walked the walk can truly understand....
Thanks for sharing.  What wonderful support!