About the drama...

I've been reading all the "drama" on this board for several days / weeks and I just feel I need to say what I feel.  I've kept quiet not wanting to offend.  I truly believe that people who come here need to have " accurate and reliable" information.  I started researching a revision from a 1982 gastric stapling a little over a year ago and found myself enthralled with a particular surgeon.  I read ABOUT him, I read posts FROM him and got caught up with wanting him to be MY surgeon and to FIX me...I think I idolized him.  This is difficult to admit because it was an emotional response to all the posts I was reading about all his "happy patients"...I wanted to be one of his "girls" and be a part of his magic...I wanted that magic to work for me and to finally have the weight loss I so badly wanted and needed.

Now as I said, this was purely emotional because I had never researched anything at all about him and all I knew about him was that he talked to people like me all over the country AND I started seeing people from all over traveling thousands of miles just to have surgery with him.  Well, my husband put it all in perspective for me and I realized that I really couldn't afford to travel that far.  I went to Brigham and Womens in Boston to see if I qualified for the Restore trials (I didn't) and then I heard about my present surgeon and the rest is history.

I'm bringing this up because I have to admit that a newbie can very easily be swayed toward a certain MD, or procedure or whatever easier than one might think.  I am an intelligent person and I almost let someone operate on me without really seeing what his qualifications were.

It's ok to talk about your experiences, but it is NOT ok to manipulate and disseminate information even if it is about yourself or your experiences unless you  do it truthfully.  This means that you are truthful about your success AND your failures.  After all isn't that what this forum is for?  Isn't it ALWAYS appropriate to be truthful and not to mislead by giving information that is not entirely true or the whole truth?  Leaving out information could also be called lying and misleading.

Again, no intention to offend, but say it like it is.  There are newbies who sometimes stumble here and don't have a lot of experience with the internet (this was me) and tend to believe what they read because it's what they WANT to read.  All of us need to be fair to these people and fair to ourselves.

And if there are MD practices that have "office advocates" they should be reported for unethical behavior and penalized, and anyone who is a paid or compensted "patient advocate"  should be ashamed of themselves...truly ashamed.

To be truthful about ONE'S OWN EXPERIENCE IS GREAT! But to post about hearsay, he said she said, and to post opinions about surgeons you know nothing about is just wrong.
To be ethical, one should stick to what one knows.
To sow confusion just to feel powerful on a message board is a sorry way to boost self-esteem.
Your emotional response is your own, you have the right to speak of it.
But if I were to exagerate your story into " several women", or  say " many on here" made choices, or almost made choices due to emotions instead of facts, that would be tantamount to what at least 2 people are spending a LOT of time doing these days, which is spreading lies for a personal agenda.
I can explain all about my own surgery, and explain the medical parts of it and the positive benefits  of it  WITHOUT bashing any other surgical choice. This would be true support. Each proceedure should stand on it's own merits.
Anyway...good post.

Thanks Sally,
I just believe that it is so dishonest to post different things about your experiences on different message boards simply because it really could sway a newbie.  I have no problem with people talking about their experiences or about how wonderful they think their MD is (I LOVE my MD and would say it to anyone), but I have a problem with the reason behind why they promote one over another is for some sort of compensation...that is where this gets dangerous and puts innocent people at risk.

I am a "say it as I see it" kind of girl...the good, the bad and the ugly.  I can deal with the Truth...I cannot deal with half truths, deceptions and manipulation.

Again I say shame on anyone *****ceives a benefit for promoting a MD solely to receive that benefit...it is morally shameful.

I'm not convinced anyone who stands accused of being an " office advocate" or a " paid endorser" really is.
Those so accused have stated this is not the case, and I have no reason not to beleive them, especially since the ones who accuse them seem to have an agenda that would include discrediting those who have had ERNY as their surgery or revision surgery.
In fact, the fervor with which the accusers post on and on, over and over, lend an element of insincerity to the whole thing.
Since I haven't seen anything posted here by the the accused persons, I an inclined to disregard the whole thing, and take people at face value, especialy when it comes to the surgeon who did their actual weight loss surgery. I mean this is the one who did the surgery, and they are posting their own personal opinions about him!
How much they paid, or whatever incentive they are supposed to have gained, the surgery was performed by that surgeon. This gives the patients the right to post about him all day long!

I totally agree with you Losing Sally.

How much they paid, or whatever incentive they are supposed to have gained, the surgery was performed by that surgeon. This gives the patients the right to post about him all day long!

This is where we may differ.  This is what I believe can harm people.  Yes, people certainly can post whatever they want about their MD as long as it is TRUE and as long as they are honest about their own journey...the good, the bad and the ugly.  After all THIS is why we all come here...for accurate information and accurate experiences.   If people are being compensated for posting skewed information that makes certain MD's look good then that is just plain unethical.  When I post about my experiences and people want my opinion about my surgery choice, I do them a tremendous disservice by painting a picture that is not accurate and truthful.  I have a conscience and personally could not give information about myself that might harm someone else.  Just because someone had surgery by a particular MD , this does not give them the right to post how wonderful their experience was unless it really was wonderful...that is just good old fashioned honesty.

But why would you say it's skewed information? The persons involved had the surgery, they have posted positively about their outcomes. Since an outcome from this type surgery can be considered subjective, they can only post from their own experience and be thought of as valid viewpoints. I haven't seen anyone painting a picture about their surgery in anyway other than their own perspective. If it's good news, are they automatically liars???
I may say I had XYZ surgery, I now can hardly walk at times, thankfully, the surgery is a great success! Since it is subjective to MY OWN EXPERIENCE, MY OWN NEEDS, MY OWN MEDICAL SITUATION, AND MY OWN STARTING POINT, who can say it isn't a success?
I don't see where anyone has posted inaccurate information. I see persons who stand accused of it, by people I have no faith in, and no respect for their posting due what I precieve as an agenda to discredit those who have ERNY as their surgery or revision surgery.
I have ERNY as my primary surgery, not as a revision. I have had a good weight loss, and easy maintaince at 3 years and 8 months out.
I have posted about an issue or two, and I have had days where I just didn't feel good, or have been tired. A couple of years ago, I had to go through a round of Flagyl. The weeks before that were not good, and had I posted about it, it would have been a very negative post.
So I take people's posting for what it is: a record of their journey, knowing that things change from day to day and year to year. If I whine today about gaining 2 pounds, which I lose next week, would that be the end of my story?
If I post how I've dumped twice in all this time, would that mean I'm blowing smoke, or just that I don't dump?
I like to beleive people until I see reason not to. Constant attcking and disrespect are obvious. Claims against people that can't be proved, and disrupt and anger people, and seem designed to hurt or discredit them on a support board doesn't make sense to me. Calling people stupid or implying that they can't make intelligent choices isn't my style, and I don't much care for it.
Getting into a ******g contest benefits nobody here.
People make health choices on a very personal basis. There are reasons why people want one surgery or another. To denigrate them for their very personal decision is one of the sorriest things I see on this site, where all come because they are obese and can't get healthy without surgical intervention.
What in the hell have we come to, that bias and bigotry now extend to which surgery we had?????

Sally I think you're  missing my point.  I agree that people have the right to post about their experiences...but, there has been posting about someone who says that they are so happy with their revision, eating everything they want and life has never been better, all the while leading people to believe that this person's life is wonderful.  The rub is that this person has in reality had major problems with the revision and while on OH everything seems wonderful, the reality is that this person has many serious issues that they have to contend with.  I truly am pained that this person has so many life altering issues, but perhaps if they had posted on Oh what they posted on other frums, it would finally be a complete picture that may save another person from having the same surgery and possibly going through the same problems...it can be boiled down to one thing..integrity in posting as honestly and accurately as we can to newbies thirsting for accurate information.
  This post is NOT about slamming anyone...it's about being honest about what you post about.  If you're questioning your surgeon on one board and painting a different picture about the MD on anther board, you are guilty of lying by omission.

 As I said before...we owe it to all people *****ad these posts for whatever reason to be forthright and honest and keep integrity as our mantra.

I don't think I am missing your point at all.
First, I don't know who is supposed to be posting lies about their revision.
Second, there are many more who have ERNY or a " true" distal RNY with a short common channel, anywhere from 50cm to 200cm, than post here. The consequences of a short common channel are the same for both DS and RNY, except for the smaller stomach capacity for RNY has a greater risk of low protein.
I have this surgery. I have had a good experience so far, and anticipate this continuing. I am happy and satisfied. Since this is the truth, it's all I can offer.
One person posting total lies won't change much for anyone. Do you think it will?  It also assumes people can't think for themselves.
I just can't agree with the whole concept. As with anything " caveat emptor".  I would advocate for everyone to learn about what they are doing to their bodies from a health professional familiar with the surgery they are planning. I also do not believe that surgeons lie to patients for money.
And give people credit for being able to research, consider and choose.

When I saw this post I truly thought that someone was finally commenting on all of the arguing that is going on. Am I the only one that is tired of it all and wish that people would stop. In one way I'm greatful because it made me start checking out other boards, but it just isn't fair to the newbies or anyone else to have to weed through all of that to get to the information that they need. Come on you guys give it a break and just agree to disagree. I really thank all of you for the input you've had for me, but let's remember what this board is really supposed to be about.