caught between a rock and a hard place!

Sorry this is kind of long-winded, but here it goes....I'm feeling at a loss for what to do. I had my RNY about 16 mos. ago. I am still a good 10 lbs. away from my goal, and I feel I have had a tougher road than most in my weight loss journey, I exercise like a fiend, which is the sole reason I feel I've even gotten as far as I have. I am feeling hopeless at this point because I don't think RNY has worked well for me. I can eat ALOT!! People don't believe me, but I really can. I can eat quickly and nothing happens. I almost never get that "full" feeling. I've asked my surgeon many times if he can look and see if something has gone wrong...my pouch got stretched or my stoma is too large. He says until I start regaining a lot of weight, he won't do anything. Now, I feel back where I started. Trying to maintain a loss on my own. I've never been successful before. Why would anything be different now? If I stop exercising, I'm sure I would regain quickly, but I can't bear the thought of regaining simply to prove the point that my surgery is not working. What can I do? I want a revision, but without regain, no one will look at me. I know it is simply a matter of time before I am fat again. I live in constant fear of this and it's driving me crazy. What should I do?

Your experience is unfortunate.

I had a rny a long time ago.

about a year out i seemed to suddenly be able to eat more and heavier foods. not really overeating just more at a time. still i felt fuller for a longer period of time than before my rny.

at the time the work i did was very physical involving a lot of running around so i got a lot of exercise without even meaning to.  i maintained for a while and then lost more.

part of the journey of weight loss is making changes and learning to navigate through the world of food. for years i ate what i wanted when i wanted BUT i changed my food choices so i didn't want a lot of fattening food. I wanted and like foods that supported my health. I developed a desire for good foods. i still occasionally ate fried chicken or other things but i was satisfied to have some rather than abstaining from such foods and then running as fast as i could to eat them because i felt deprived of them. 

if you are already 10 pounds from goal and you feel you did it mainly on your own thats wonderful. you are ahead of the game because that is ultimately where we all need to be. maintaining on our own.

i think you just need to make choices that enable you to live comfortable around food. not fear food.

your exercise regime sounds great. unless its too much (work out like a fiend). swimming is a great exercise for me and enjoyable.

try to be more active naturally, try to live with food comfortably. there are many good wonderful enjoyable foods out there. i love to try new things out.

good luck.

                                         

If I had one wish for the entire WLS community, especially for people considering weight loss surgery, it would be that every single surgeon and associated caregiver would utter these words as their opening remarks:  "YOU WILL FEEL HUNGER AGAIN. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO EAT REGULAR FOODS IN WHATEVER QUANTITIES YOU ASK OF YOUR POUCH. YOUR POUCH WILL STRETCH TO THE EXTENT YOU ASK IT TO OVER TIME. TO SUSTAIN YOUR WEIGHT LOSS WILL REQUIRE HURCULEAN EFFORTS ON YOUR PART. FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO COMMIT TO A DAILY REGIMEN OF VIGOROUS EXERCISE AND HEALTHY EATING CHOICES IN MODEST PORTIONS AT NO MORE THAN THREE MEALS A DAY.  IF YOU CAN DO THIS, YOU MAY STAND A CHANCE TO KEEP MOST OF YOUR WEIGHT OFF FOR MANY YEARS TO COME. THE SURGERY IS A TOOL, IT IS A JUMP START TO HELP YOU LOSE THE WEIGHT. IT IS IN NO WAY A MAGIC WAND THAT WILL GUARANTEE THAT YOU WILL BE FOREVER NORMAL SIZED. THAT IS ENTIRELY UP TO YOU AND YOU WILL HAVE TO WORK AS HARD AS YOU HAVE AT ANYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE TO ACHIEVE IT.  GOOD LUCK."  Look, you are 10 lbs. from your goal weight. That is an incredible accomplishment. Eat healthy foods that taste good. Stay away from crap food. Move your butt, hard, every day. Do these things and you'll be fine. Get out of your head and you'll get out of your own way - redirect this energy toward giving yourself away to other people or causes who need help. Make a difference in your community and in your world. This is the true secret to successful weight loss, staying healthy and fit. Sorry you're not hearing what you want to hear. But this is the truth. Let us know how you're doing, ok? Best, Maureen

I'm not upset to hear what you have to say...I don't expect it to be all rainbows and sunshine. I knew WLS was going to be hard work...just not this hard this early out. I added exercise into my life immediately after surgery because I knew I would need it to help maintain down the line. What I didn't realize was how easy it would be to fall back into old habits and how quickly I would be able to eat larger portions. I also hear about other people simply not craving food the way they used to. I only experienced this honeymoon phase for about a month. Then my cravings kicked right back in. How can I expect to be successful at this when I never have been in the past? Yes, I lost most of my weight. But I'm only 40 years old. I hopefully have many more years ahead of me. Can I really expect to keep this off for the rest of my life without the additional aid of the surgery anymore? It's just overwhelming to me. My concern in my post was more about how to find out if I am failing my surgery or if my surgery failed me. At this point I believe it's a little bit of both. How do I get myself back on the wagon? Luckily, I 've kept up my exercise (which I'm sure is the only reason I haven't regained a ton of weight already). How do I get my food demons back under control? Any ideas?

Maureen,

amazing point.
I really wish my surgeon would've just said those things, point blank. That is the truth, why not just get it out there. Life is so different when you're in your research stage, vs once you're post op. Real life experience is better than any words you read on a screen or a notebook.
Thank you for this honesty,
Katrina

One of the little 'tricks' I used to do when I began to get away from my good eating habits was to go to the store and buy one of those big platters of fresh fruit. I'd take it home and put it on the counter. For the rest of the day I'd munch on it. along with others things of course. It is healthy, enjoyable, and would help me turn back around in the direction of eating well. Those foods would follow with other good foods, etc, etc. It was simple, enjoyable, natural, and it worked.

You might also consider an activity that you enjoy for exercise. Rather than pushing yourself to do it. You can't spend a lifetime forcing yourself to do things to be slender. It needs to be natural and relaxed. A simple means of living. People here bike a lot. Along the beach or the mountain trails. Hiking, morning jogs, take classes at the college playing volleyball or basketball. Take swimming aerobics with other women. I did that and it was a lot of fun. With laughing and socializing and getting healthy all at the same time.

So ... Those are my thoughts. Try to relax and be healthy at the same time. 

                                           
                                          

I too feel like that and have that issue...I just got off the phone with my surgeon's office.  I am almost 3 years out and I have not lost anything since about 8 months out.  I have only lost a total of 42 lbs and have been gaining back and forth these 10-12 lbs.  Never fully lost all of them, but I have been maintaining and still trying to do my thing.  For the past 2 weeks I've been back with my nutritionist and then I decided to call my surgeons office today and ask if they did revisions?  The nurse said they did, asked if I had my surgery in that office, which I did, so she's going to send me a script to get some test ran to find out what's going on with me and my pouch.  Like I said, I haven't lost anything until after 8 months out.  I kept the faith that I would eventually loose some more, but I didn't, and I'm to the point, something has to give even if it's going back into surgery. 

I like you get sick off of anything and I can eat a lot but I don't.  I never quiet feel that full feeling, but whatever I measure out to eat, is all that I do.  I still measure everything and eat my 6 times a day.  I exercise about 4-5 times a week for at least 2 hours each time, and days that I'm not exercising, I am doing some sort of cardio like walking or whatever.

I still have my pre-surgery issues, and I want to get that under control.  I have had serious back pain since the age of 15, I have had a breast reduction as well as RNY to get this undercontrol.  Not only my back, I have PCOS (Polycycstic Ovaries), and that's another issue I wanted to get under way because PCOS is a hormonal imbalance and an insulin resistant thing, which of course leads to weight gain and puts me high risk for diabetes.  So with those issues, I am willing to get things back under way.  My nutritionist thinks I have been doing a good job.  Every Saturday night I email her with my food log for the following week to see that all is well, and she say it's good.  I give her measurements, water intake and even down to exercise for the week to come.  She agrees that it's good.

I'm just keeping my hands together and in prayer that I find a break in this thing here somewhere.  I want to loose at least another 40 lbs.  I'm not sure if my insurance will cover it because now I am fluctuating between 178 and 175, but I have to loose at least another 40 lbs.  I'm still considered OBESE....not just overweight...

I too am at a loss, and am trying to see what can be done.

Congrats on being 10 pds away from your goal! Your are doing great! I think the other posters advice has been good. I would suggest you putting your weight into true perspective. Is this your entire life? Do you want to be in fear of bad foods and weight gain the rest of your life? I have a sister that is 10 years out RNY. Lost 120 pds, has maintained 110. She is at 145. Being that she maintains this well, I believe this is her natural body weight. Finding excercise that is a joy will also help make this a lifestyle change. You are well on your way. I would suggest you also see a therapist or join Overeaters anoun. I hear they have groups now for weight loss surgery people. You must find the lifestyle that will work for you and you will enjoy. I wish you the best!
Sally J.

Wow I can so relate to your post. I am in the same place I can't get anything unless I gain weight. I'm struggling to keep the weight I have lost off. I thought it would be easier to keep the weight off once I had surgery. It sucks I agree and your not alone. I still measure out my food so I never eat more then 8oz and always protein first and I get my water in. According to the BMI I am still obese. It's so frustrating.