So tired of the DAMN comments!!!!!!!

I'm sure I'm not alone on this one!!!! I have gained back 45 pounds after my RNY.  I'm so tired of hearing, "OH MY GOD" your so heavy, or boy you've gotten chunky!!!! My husband says to let it fall on deaf ears, but I can't. If people only knew how much their comments hurt, or how much stomach pain I'm in, or how hard it is to now be "Diabetic". 

You can't help but feel that your a failure.

 Here here and amen! The majority of people I know don't make remarks but my mom mentions to me how I need to get back where I was because I worked so hard. I don't feel like a complete failure since I am still 90lbs down from my starting weight, but still....I miss being more "normal".

LATINASOI AND DIANA YOU BOTH ARE NORMAL AND ARE BEAUTIFUL AND ARE FAR FROM FAILURES PEOPLE CAN BE SO RUDE AND YES YOU MAY HAVE PUT ON A LITTLE WEIGHT BUT HEY YOU CAN WORK IT BACK OFF NEVER SAY YOU ARE A FAILURE THINGS WILL GET BETTER IF YOU WORK ON IT SO NEVER PUT YOURSELVES DOWN

you're not a failure.. remember you have a mechanical failure of your RNY.. not that you're over-eating and have done this to yourself! so who made the comment this time?? yeah, hubbie is right... let the comments fall on deaf ears.  I know it hurts.  Pop's comment from four years ago still chimes in my head and hurts like it was yesterday. Hang in there and when you have the revision, you will lose the weight and then you'll hear YOU'RE TOO SKINNY! 

That's right you will here You're too skinny!  I had a revision in Feb due to a mechanical failure from my original in 99, and that's what I hear now. If I can do it, so can anyone here. I gained back about 40 pounds myself. Have faith, and anything is possible

Just chalk it up to some people are just stupid. You are doing something about your weight but they will always be stupid...

Honey, I hear ya and I feel u're pain.......My husband keeps saying how much have u regained?  I know I've gained I don't need his opinions oh well.
U're not alone and u're not a failure....:)

It sure does hurt.  We beat ourselves up and feel so bad - we don't want the regain - we feel like failures without anyone's help.  I have a good friend (we've been friends for 34 years) who, when I mentioned I was looking into a revision, said "why go thru all that since you'll probably just regain again".  I was stunned.  She has never had a weight problem.  I know she's use to all my yo-yo dieting on every diet plan out there.  I have lost/regained so many times over the years but for her to say it hurts deeply.  Of course I pretend it doesn't and just laugh.  But it makes me want to hide - if she, a good friend, says it, how many other people are even thinking it when they look at me? 

Yup!  Truly an insensitive world out there! ....And then after you get a revision and lose all your weight and maintain a healthy goal weight....they all throw out the other side  "so, how long will it take before you gain back your weight"...."aren't you too thin?"...."Your skin is so saggy now".........Oh yeah....at some point in our lives we gave society permission to talk about our size, diets, clothes, food choices, etc......  Let's take back our power and demand some respect!!!!  ....  I'm having a middle aged tantrum and making a list of hostile comebacks!!!!  My shallow side rises quickly to the top when people "mess with my FAT issues"!!!  LOL!

So, it's probably nicer to just turn the other cheek (or the deaf ears routine) ......but getting even is so much fun!    I"m trying to clear toxic people out of my life!  That just about leaves me with just my dog!

Hi:

I understand what you are saying and I wish I could help.. But I feel like you.  I am in the same place you are.  I have gained 45lbs and it has only been 2 years.  Everyone is yelling at me and it makes me eat more.  I guess I will pray for both of us and hopefully we will start losing again.  Best of luck to you!!