questions I need help with please

Before I begin, I know I am fresh out of the gates at this and I've been told by everyone on earth that this will get better.  I feel that the things I have questions about are the clearest, most rational, sane thoughts I've had in the last 2 weeks, so please bear with me. 

I would like some help finding information and I'm having trouble finding it.

I probably never should have had this surgery, from a couple stand points, worse anxiety/depression issues than I had realized and uninformed about A LOT of the possible negative side effects.  I know that this is my own fault really, but I have done it, now I need to decide what to do about it. 

I have a large ventral hernia that I know needs to be repaired some time in the near future.  My plan a few weeks  ago was to wait until my weight came off and have the hernia repair with a tummy tuck at the same time since I will  have to be opened wide again anyway (hernia has been fixed once already, blown out again).  I am overcome with regret (yes, I know that's a normal feeling many people get) but I really don't want to live with this surgery for the rest of my life.  This I am more certain of than anything in my life.  REALLY.  It is not about food, or being overweight.  I am hoping that it is feasible to try to live with this for a while if I have to, but soon (within a year or less preferably) have the hernia repaired and have the RNY reversed at the same time.  I hope people will not be upset with me for feeling this way.  I hope people here will not judge me.  I know I have to be opened up again, and I feel this may be my only chance to take this back.

Anyway, I have been trying to research reversal and be armed with some information to discuss with my surgeon.  I have found it is possibe, with mixed results.  But most of what I have found is either people dying who have it done and a few drs around the US who perform these.  I even found a comment out there that in countries outside the US, they routinely reverse these surgeries to prevent long-term malabsorbtion, malnutrition issues but I can not find any info about this anywhere.

If anyone could help me with some information or help finding it, I'd be very grateful. 

Don't feel badly about admitting that you'd like to have your survery reversed.  If that's that you want, then that's what you want.  I too considered that very seriously since they are having to go back in to correct the original surgery.  Dr. Champion in Atlanta does reversals and has patients from all over the country.  Here is his website:  http://www.drchampion.com/   I've been extremely impressed and pleased with his staff.  So far I have found them to be very professional, courteous, and informative. 

Best of luck.

Don't jump the gun. Since you are okay with waiting maybe a year, that's good. I think you will most likely change your mind once the weight starts falling off. You have to feel good about yourself again and with the weight loss, you will feel liberated. Wait and see. Good luck in whatever you decide.

Thank you so much for your support.  It really means a lot.  I think if I feel like I have a way out, I'll feel better and be able to hang in there, at least for now.

My orginial surgery was a VBG (mesh band and stapling) I had no malabsorbition issues, but a ton of other issues. I had complications, I had to have half of my stomach removed. My surgeon was able to do a RNY, this way I would not need my "stomach".   I did not want to have surgery but I had to. I was very frustrated afterwards and it seemed to take me forever to feel half way decent.  Was your surgery 2 weeks ago? My hormones and body was so out of whack at 2 weeks I cried and did not want the surgery either, it is normal.
Stay on the boards and know that a lot of people feel this way, make the best out of it! No judging here, I have to say though I feel so much better at 180 pounds then I did at 368........take care!

I agree with the other post about not jumping the gun.  The 1st year out is the most difficult to get use to.  Your body is a miraculous thing.  It will compensate for some of the changes of the surgery.  a few  years from now you will be able to tolerate things you can not today.  Your body will start absorbing a little more then now.  Give it some time, feel the freedom of the weight loss and all that it brings and make your decision later.  It does not have to be made today.    There was a reason that you decided to have this surgery, try to remember what those reasons were.  Its easy to regret when you are not in the midst of the anguish that parcipitated the original decision to have the surgery.  Don't worry about  being judged....we all know that we have to live with the decisions we make and it is no one else business why we make these choices.  Do what is best for you!  You deserve it.

If it's NOT about food, or being overweight, what is the problem with your surgery?

My first question to you is, did your Dr. take you off of any anti-depressant medication before the surgery and if he did are you back on it? You mention depression and thats what this sounds like. Take it from me...been there done that. If this depression is something new for you then please speak to someone and get something, at least for awhile. We all go through situational depression from time to time and need a helping hand. Don't dwell on the surgery right now instead work on feeling good, thats more important right now. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon and find some peace and happiness in whatever you decide to do.

Sheri