discouraged and need to vent

I know that anything worth having is worth fighting for.   I'm feeling drained in my fight.  First I was led to believe my the first doctor I visited that he could help to be later told that I should find someone else.   I have a new appoint on February 7th.  During this battle I have lost time at work due to appointments and have spent a lot of money paying for lab fees, doctor visits and program fees.  Yes, I have insurance but as we all know insurance doesn't pay for everything and you have to meet your deductibles.  Which mine went up in 2008!  Financially paying all the fees and additional cost are effecting my budget and causing me and my husband to argue about money.  I'm feeling guilty that I am spending money on something that I want.  I don't like feeling like a selfish person.  I'm sure there are doctors out there who can help make the process easier for me but I can't travel across country.  I feel like these doctors are having me jump all kinds of hoops and I am at their mercy.  I don't know what is going to happening at my February 7th appointment which is out of state and I have to take the whole day off for.  Oh, did I mention I have to pay another $200.00 up front.    If I don't get good vibes from this surgeon and I am asked to jump more hoops and spend more money than I will have to throw in the towel.  I know many of you can relate to this and thanks for listening to my venting.

I know how you feel...but its not like you are spending money on a new sweater you "want." This is way more than that. This is something that is essential to you living a healthy normal life. I know that most people do not understand that because they haven't walked in our shoes. You aren't alone. Regading the deductibles...I am sharing them with you 10 fold now in 2008...UUGGH. Hang in there. You will prevail!!

I had to self pay $16000 for my revision to the lapband.  It was a lot of money but sooo worth it.  Sending you a hug - hang in there!

Oh do I hear your pain!  I was told that my insurance would cover it.........then they wouldnt........then during all the testing they found things (cysts mostly)  It seemed like a lot of BS at first. but I am glad that the testing was extensive just in case.  I was self paying for my surgery $25,000.00 and I still had to wait 9 months!  It was the most frustrating time of all.  If anything was going to make me gain weight it was this constant battle and hoop jumping!!  Then, my surgeon while I dont doubt his abilities, has the nerve to treat me like a sub human for the simple fact that I was obese!  Can you imagine a doctor in this business treating patients like that?  I just got too far into the process to start over and had to go through with it.  The last time that I went, I was down to a size 14 and looking pretty good and he seemed to have changed his attitude.  I didnt.  I am now in a 10, sometimes 8 and I think about making the trip back just to make sure he knows how awful he made me feel when I was fat.  Its not like we dont feel awful and vulnerable as it is. Well, looks like I did a little venting also.  But what I hope to have conveyed its that it is worth it in the end and its just a small amount of suffering that will ease up the first time you step on a scale! Keep your thoughts positive! Carrie

I'm sorry Darnell you have to go through all of this extra drama, but keep your head up don't stop trying to reach your goal. Have faith that everything will work out the way it's suppose to, and also prayer DOES work and I will pray that the both of us will get through this process and reach our ultimate goal. Tonya