I am just so embarrassed!!!!

Okay , so I am going to take a deep breath and finally admit what I have known now for some time. I am a failure. I had open RNY in 2004 and at that time I did great. I was 410 lbs and went down to 283 lbs in the first 6 months. I was feeling great, looking great. (i am 6 feet tall so I carry my weight well) now I have gained 40lbs back. I was eating wrong, drinking with my meals (they seem to go down better that way) and acting like it was okay as long as I didnt gain anything back. I gained 5 lbs and After awhile I stopped getting on the scale, I disnt really want to know. My mother started checking on my weight asking how it was doing and I was lying to her telling her it was steady. But when I finally got on the scale again I had gained 40lbs. My clothes were still fitting, just a little differently. but now taking out my summer clothes I can barely fit in them..... I just want to cry. I have now curbed my food and am trying to eat sensibly and not graze all day at work. I started a desk job and that hasbt been an easy task. so I bring healthy snacks with me. I am seriously thinking about a revision. I am sure something has streched out...... The problem is I am too embarrassed to call my surgeon. The last time I saw him I was about 6 months out. (he stopped taking my insurance then). I know I have to swallow my pride and do it to help myself. Does anyone have any good advice for me. I could really use some support. My mother doesnt help, she said to me yesterday that she is surprised that any surgeon would do a revision. she thinks that they would say you already had your chance and you failed. I know I failed she doesnt have to keep reminding me of that. I tried to tell her that I ma not the only one!!!!! she just doesnt choose her words correctly. I mean last night I asked her an opinion on how one of my shirts looked on me (its a bit tight in the arms). her reply was "it doesnt look any worse then your other shirts".  Any worse????? thanks alot.

Hi, i am sorry you are not getting the support you need, I had rny 2003 and have only lost 75lbs and gained 20 have managed within the last year to keep it to 20, but like you felt like a failure and was embarrased to go to the dr. well i swolled my pride and I DID IT<<<< i went last week and had a upper gi and a abdom. ultrasound. my dr apt. is June 7th with my surgeon and I am going in with my head held high and admit to my poor eating, drinking with meals, etc. (i do exercise so i got that going for me) and beg... So i guess the reason for my post is to let you know that you are not alone, and this is a wonderful web site to get that encouragement you need, I would suggest start today getting in your water, exercising (walk, etc..) and watch what you eat to either maintain the 40lb gain and no more or maybe you will be blessed and start losing again... THEN make an appointment to have your test done and start there,, GOOD LUCK and try to stay positive, dont let a 40lb gain consume you.. as i let my 20lb gain do to me THINK OF YOUR PROGRESS YOU ARE STILL WAY UNDER WHAT YOU STARTED AT,,, AND THAT IS A HUGE THING TO BE PROUD OF,,, Renee

You may not need a revision. You may simply need to do the exact same things you did in the beginning. A 40 pound regain isn't a failure! It a wake up call. Many people try revision, and find the weight loss is very slow compared to first time RNY, DS or Lap band. One lady on the grad board said her surgeon told her not to snack at her desk, or even to have lunch there. That she HAS to get up, and eat anything, even a small snack away from her desk and to keep no foods there. This way, she is conciously making a decision to eat something, not just grazing mindlessly.  Another thing is to fix dinner, and eat it only sitting at the dinner table, not reading or watching TV> This all makes sense to me, since reading and snacking was always one of my downfall. Track everything you eat and see how much protein and how much water you are getting. High protein makes your motabolism start and keep working for several hours, that's why a protein breakfast helps with burning fat. If you're like most of us, you know the calorie count of all the foods you eat. Just keep up with it and see what you're doing. Don't give up yet on yourself.  Anyway you go, I wish you all the success in the world.

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time.  I had the mini gastric bypass Jan, 2000 and I have regained my weight back.  I also feel like a failure.  I would love to have a revision but I was told my BMI is not high enough.  However, I don't do well with diets.  It is a complete roller coaster to me.  Hang in there.  You are not at the point of no return yet.

I, too, have gained weight, like 30 pounds in the last 6 months. I never made it to goal only losing 90 pounds to begin with and now up. I was on a stall for over a year to begin with and should have realized things were not working for me. I feel no restriction.  My surgeon did recommend a lapband over the bypass so I am considering it.  Also checking into doing something to my stoma to shrink it before I would have major surgery again.

It's so nice to know I am not the only one..... well, actually I wish everyone the best so in all actuality maybe I do wish I was the only one....I too don't have much restriction when it comes to eating. I called my insurance company the other day to inquire if some type of revision would be covered. WLS is covered by the claims adjuster waas unsure about a revision. I would have to get a letter of medical necessity and send it in to her for review and them they would have to discuss it with my employer. See I have Amerihealth administrators, it a self funded insurance through my employer, so technically my employer pays the allowed amount that the insurance company says to pay. I am not sure that will go over really well with the cardiologist (however you would think they would want me to be healthy since they are doctors) but then I am taking their money......hmmm. I am trying to do this on my own now. If I just try to count my calories and watch what I take in I should do pretty good. I am curious about what yyou said about shrinking your stoma without major surgey. Could you share more info on that with me??

Glad to share. I read about these procedure online on the "revision" board I think it was. Several procedures were mentioned. The first one of which I don't know the name is where an irritant is placed on the stoma so it shrinks.  Another variant of that is where the stoma is sewed tighter so less food gets in.  Another name I read about is the "rose" procedure. I don't know exactly what it does (it could very well be one of the other two I mentioned).  Then another name that was thrown out there is the "stomaphyx" which I read is not available here in the U.S. until June I believe.  I sent my PA a letter and told her all this and she is supposed to get back to me on these procedures and whether my surgeon would perform one of them on me.  I have an appt to see her on the 5th for my "diet" I was to follow (that is not going so well either).

Please don't feel like a failure!  Both my husband and I had RNY in 2004 - mine was a success, I've lost and kept off 109 lbs (still have 10 to go for goal) but my husband only lost 65 out of 175 and gained back 20lbs.   Can you imagine how he felt having to look at me continuing to lose daily when he would just about starve and was at a stand still?  We both followed up constantly with our surgeon.  We never stopped going for our follow ups.  The surgeon was the one who suggested to my husband that he needed testing to see if he needed a revision.  Yes he did.  His new stomach developed an "outpouching" and had stretched and his bowel needed moving as he was still abosorbing too many calories and nutrients.  It was almost a 2 yr battle w/insurance company but finally his revision from a RNY to a DS was almost 2 weeks ago on 5/21.  He's done fantastic this time around!! Out of the hospital after only 4 days.  No ICU (was in 8 days due to complications the 1st time)   He's lost 19 pounds (11days post), is tolerating his phase 2 meals (full liquids) and is walking for excerise.  He had also developed a HUGH hernia that had to be repaired during the surgery. Don't let yourself be too embarrased to ask for help.  Attend support group meetings - get private counseling if your insurance will cover it - get back to your surgeon - just do it!  You did the first time right?  It's never too late to ask for more help.  Ask questions.  Get answers directly from the surgeon.  PCP's are not always supportive like they should be. Hope you have success with what ever choice you make as far as revision decisions. Melissa

Hi Melissa, thanx for your response. I am seeing the dietician tomorrow 6/5 and go over with her the possibilities of what can be done for me. I am going to ask about the sclerotherapy first and tell her I am thinking I want  the DS done, not the lapband, and see what she says. I don't think this particular surgeon does the DS. So I may have to go to a different surgeon. The one or the practice I am thinking of is in San Francisco, but read here they may charge a fee upfront before they will even see you, a fee like $4,000.00 to $10,000.00!!!. I just don't have that kind of money so I may have to stick with my own surgeon and do the lapband.  We shall see.

Karen