Just Had Revision - Still Feeling Shame ...

Haven't signed in on this website in some time! I had RNY surgery in November 2003.  Lost 100 lbs.  (252 to 150-ish).  Through life events and carelessness, I managed to gain back about 35 lbs.  The site of my anastamosis stretched, thus stretching the pouch.  I had open revision with hernia removal on 3/19 - doing well so far but can't shake feelings of humiliation that I had to resort to this, and fear that I won't be able to maintain good eating habits.  I didn't go to support groups the first time around and I plan to depend on them heavily this time around. Any advice about how to stay positive and move away from the shame? Kathy

Well Kathy,

All I can say is congratulations on taking a step to help yourself.  I'm in that boat right now...thinking of a revision myself...had rny lap on 12/1/03, lost 125, still was 30 lbs from goal, and after three years have worked my way back up about 40 lbs, and talk about shame....it's unbearable at times.  I know how you feel.  But you know what?  We are human.  If this was easy, everyone would be doing it.  It's hard knowing others have kept it off, and then others (like me) who keep struggling.  BUT, all we can do is try, right?  What type of revision did you have?  I am still looking into options, but am curious to what others have done. Best of luck to you Kathy, and keep your chin up!  We are behind you 100%!   Hugs, Theresa   

Hi Theresa,

Thanks for the nice note.

I essentially had another RNY.  He fixed the anastamosis and re-created a smaller pouch.  I asked my dr. about doing a duodenal switch, but he wasn't in favor of it.  One of his many sayings is that he wants healthy patients, not skinny patients ... of course I want both!!  (His other one is "you're a little girl - you don't need as much fuel to heat the furnace so you won't lose the same as others" - I'm 5'1")

I'd say talk to your doctor and see what option he thinks works best. I'm two weeks post-op and have lost a good 10 lbs., so I'm succeeding so far.  Good luck to you.  Keep in touch & I'll keep you posted on success. Kathy

Hello Kathy I so understand everything that you and Theresa have said. I feel the exact same way!! I'm scheduled for a revision on April 26th. Just wondering, why he didn't do you laproscopic? I had open rny first time and I'm hoping he won't have to do that again. I need a hernia repaired as well. His nurse said he would discuss what he will do at my pre-op on the 18th. Well Good Luck and don't beat yourself up--Theresa is right--we are only human!! Tracie

Hey Tracie - I'm not sure what the reasons were, but after doing the endoscopy, he and his partner decided that they needed to do it open.  Hopefully your answer will be different. Wish that I had had the lap band - my dr. said at the time of the first one that since my weaknesses are starch and sugar the band wouldn't work since they'd pass right through.  It'd be a whole lot easier to "revise" though!  But it is what it is, and I'm recovering nicely from Round 2, and you will too.  Let us know what happens! Kathy

Hi Linda - I'm sorry you're struggling.    I think you should talk to you dr. - I doubt any of us fellow losers (and gainers!) could figure out what's happening - too large a pouch??  I know that other people have struggled in a similar way, and it must be very frustrating.  I would talk to your doctor and/or get a second opinion on what the problem is.  Keep the faith!! Kathy

I just found this Revision forum the other day and have posted a ton of messages already. I have gained back 30 pounds in the last 5 months, having had original RNY in 4/05and only losing 90 pounds to begin with, never reaching goal of another 40 pounds down. Now doc talking of doing a lapband. According to what he said, having the stoma redone and a silastic ring put on would be more chance of a leak which means more chance of death. So my bf and I decided that was too drastic. The other idea to cut off some more duodenum is not good either cuz I could lose more vitamins and nutrition and that is not good so I mayhave a lapband, but someone here said if the problem is eating too many starches or sugars, then it may not work for me, huh? Right now I think that is my problem though  I keep it to a minimum, but the weight won't come off. I too feel like a failure and not wanting to be around others who have had the surgery.  Keep the faith, attend those support meetings and go to get-togethers and I wish yu luck. Karen

There is NOTHING to feel shame about.  It's like saying you exercised and your skin didn't shrink.  It's not physical possible to control the size of your stomach pouch.  Different people have different types of skin.  Some people's skin stretches more than others and their stomachs will do the same.  I think that's why a lot of us got into the situations we were in in the first place.  We could hold more food, it took more food to satisfy us, etc. This is NOT your fault.  You didn't purposely do this to yourself.  Congrats on making a change, don't blame yourself anymore than you'd blame someone for having any other disease, diabetes, etc.  If you could have controled it in the first place you would have. Some surgeons make smaller pouches and their patients may do better.  Some surgeons may be more conservative, making larger pouches.   Enjoy where you are right now in this life and live it at the fullest.  Did you see the other post I made about the new revisions they are doing endoscopically? I am hoping this will help others. Wishing you the best! Cheyenne

PTL....finally found some folkswho understand how I feel!! I had Open RNY in December, 2002.  At first, I had great results....lost a total of about 86 pounds in a year.  Gradually felt that I was able to eat way too much.....reported this to my surgeon, who assured me that the goal of my surgery was for me to be able to eat normally....NOT!!!  At no time were any tests (Upper GI, EGD, etc.) ordered to see what may be going on. Along about this time, my surgeon moved out of state.  I was regaining weight and fell into a state of depression.  I didn't go back to the surgeon's office (she had turned over her patients) for a long time (big mistake).  I slowly regained all but 25 pounds of the weight I had lost. I finally got up the nerve to see another surgeon and I am so glad that I did.  He immediately ordered an Upper GI which showed that I had complete staple line disruption....I basically had a "normal" stomach again.  The staples were still in place, but separated.  This is important because it showed that I had done NOTHING to cause the surgery to fail.  The staples had simply come apart. So, we submitted my paperwork for revision.  And my insurance (surprisingly) DENIED it!     I again went into a "I give up" stage.  But after a few months, I decided to start researching again.  In my research, I found that my insurance had used the WRONG policy for my denial---they had used the guidelines for INITIAL surgery vs. Revision surgery.   I called my new surgeon's office and told them what I had learned.  They were amazed as well.  I made a new appointment with the surgeon and took a copy of the insurance company's guidelines for revision with me.  They scheduled an EGD to determine the internal condition of my pouch/stomach, etc.  The EGD confirmed the staple line disruption and that the "anastomosis" (outlet to the intestines) was too large.  My "pouch" was abnormally small.  Based on these results, the surgeon recommended fixing the "fistula" (staple line disruption) and adding a LapBand.  He resubmitted my paperwodk for approval and it was APPROVED within 1 week. I now have a surgery date of May 21st, 2007 at Presbyterian in Charlotte.  I have great confidence in my surgeon---he has worked with me for the past 2 years to help me determine the best path for me to take.  I'm not a heavy sugar eater, and am a moderate starch eater, so I think the LapBand along with fixing the disrupted staple line is a good choice for me. Good luck to all of you----it's really depressing to have gone through such a major operation (my original RNY was open and extremely painful) only to find that the surgery was botched and not successful.  But, most times it is not our faults-----I've posted before that we all need to be very, very careful in choosing a surgeon and doing our homework.  This is so true---it isn't an easy fix to start with and getting approved for revision is even harder (not to mention that the revision surgery itself can be more challenging/tricky for the surgeon----even a better reason to get someone who is top notch)! I'll let you all know how my surgey goes.....please keep me in your prayers. Martha