discouraged

hi all!  i've been a lurker for a while, reading and reading...finding all different kinds of stories...before i was banded, i rarely read anything negative, and when i did, i just figured that person didn't have a proper fill or that they weren't doing something right.  i read many more success stories than failure stories, but i guess i didn't pay attention to the actual amount of time that it took for them to be successful.  anyway...i keep plodding on, trying to stay positive....but it's finally broken me.  and i'm beyond discouraged.

i was banded 4/11.  first 10 days was great.  no hunger, limited eating.  after that, my appetite came back with a vengence.  after begging for a fill sooner than my 3 month post op appt, i finally got 2cc in my 10cc band.  i asked for more.  the dr explained his reasoning for a small fill.  ok.  i trust him, right?!?!?!  2 weeks later, 5/26, i'm back again.  i had gained 2 lbs.  he gave me 5cc (supposedly).  so now i'm at 7.  i can eat almost anything.  and i do.  i make healthy choices 90% of the time.  i start off with the portion i think i'm supposed to eat (3-4 oz chicken, 1/2 cup veggies).  i end up going back for a second portion the same size as the first.  so yeah, i'm eating less than i was pre-band, but i'm eating more than i should.  so i emailed the nurse this past monday asking for another fill.  no response.  i don't know if they don't believe me, or what, but i'm not losing.  and now i will be out of town and not be able to get another fill until 7/14.

i would think 7 in a 10cc band would be good.  i feel "dropped" by my surgeon's office (which is 2 hours away, or i would just show up there!).  i know that the band isn't going to do the work for me, but i had surgery because i need help with the part i can't do on my own.   limiting portions - feeling full from 3-4oz of meat & 1/2 cup veggies.  i know it's not a race, but i've been working towards this since august of last year, when i started my 6 month diet, during which time i lost 19 lbs.  now, since surgery 2 months ago, i've lost 16 more lbs, but 7 of that was in the first few days, so i'd say i've lost 1 lb a week.  i know the average is 1-2 lbs a week, i just didn't expect it to be so hard.   it seems that the more i try to control my mind against food, the more food i'm eating.  forgive me for rambling.  i don't know what advice i'm looking for.  i guess i just want to know if anyone else had a similar experience, and whether or not i'm crazy.

First I want to say that your doctor doesn't do fills till 3 months out???  And only 2 ccs???  Most doctors do the first fill at 6 weeks.  My first fill was 5 ccs. 

I want to say that not everyone feels the restriction they need for a long time.  I needed 9 fills before I finally felt I was at my optimum fill level.  9 fills and 9.8 ccs...is what I needed.  There were times I definitely felt like I made a huge mistake getting the Band.  I wasn't losing anything.  4 oz of food wasn't satisfying my hunger and I would be soooo hungry and after a while I would break down and end up overeating or eating junk food.  I was really upset with myself. 

The good news is that it finally (after almost 18 months) started to work for me.  I would eat my meal and feel nice and satisfied and stay that way for 3-4 hours...something I started to think was a myth.  Then last October I started to exercise.  OMG...this is what changed my life forever.  This is what I credit for losing weight and changing my attitude and lifestyle.  The first month after I started my exercise routine I lost 16 lbs!!!  As I started to workout more and more and lose weight...I started to make more changes to my lifestyle.  Like...no more fast food.  No more junk food.  No more simple carbs. No more processed prepackaged, frozen convenience foods.  I make my meals now.  These changes came over time and is easy to make when you see results of these changes.  I have lost 150 lbs.  I went from a 54 BMI to a 31 BMI.  I am healthy and feel great.  

I would say my hard work in the gym and determination in changing my attitudes and lifestyle is what lost my weight.  My band assists me but it doesn't do it for me.  I would say my band has done about 20-25% of the work...I have done the rest.  My doctor didn't tell me that I would have to work so hard for this but that is how it happened for me.  I see people on here that make it seem so effortless and they don't exercise and they still lose weight!!!  Well unfortunately that's not how it works for me and it sounds like that's the same for you too.  I think we are the ones that will have to work our butts off for every pound.  I know it sounds bad...but take it from me because I had to work hard in the gym and make these changes in my life...don't you think that when all is said and done I will be more likely be able to maintain my weight than someone that just coasted on the band wave.  Because I worked out hard I have built up my stamina and my muscles....I am healthier than those that didn't work so hard.  

I will tell you just because you are having a slow start (like I did) doesn't mean weight loss won't happen.  Look at me, I have lost 150 lbs after a 18 month pitty fest of feeling sorry for myself.  It can happen to you too.  All is not lost.  Don't give up.  I didn't and I am so glad I had that last bit of tenacity that made me try one more time.  If you ever need some inspiration go over to the exercise board.  These people used to weigh 300+ lbs and they are now running marathons!!!  I read their posts and their profile and it makes me want to be like them.  It's because of them that I am training to run my first 5K.  

Good luck and remember we are all here cheering for you. 

I want to tell you..it is NOT easy....I don't always feel satisfied at the recommended amount of food. I try to drink calorie free liquids when I feel hungry. We are supposed to get at least 64 oz of calorie free liquid in anyway. I agree that exercise is one of the best ways to start losing. But, I also have to say, I have lost 40 pounds so far and now seem to be plateauing. That kinda scares me for 2 reasons. First, when I lost weight on my own (about 4 yrs ago) I stopped losing after 40 pounds, and never lost again until my 6 months prior to surgery. I had surgery on 2/28/11. Second reason, I am a little scared is:my husband and I are going o a trip to Vegas to see his parents. We will be gone for 2 weeks. I have never been away from home since my surgery. At least we will be "at home" quite a bit, so that will make it easier, but I am still concerned.
Just be patient with yourself and it will come.By the way, you were not filled the first time for 3 months?? Mine was after 1 month and once a month since then. I am 7.3 cc. I do not always feel full..but do for the most part. Hang in there. We are all here for you.

thanks, ladies!

cmagouirk:

my first appt for a fill was at 3 mos out - and at my 10 day they said, of course, if you need something sooner, just call.  well, i had to go through an interrogation just to get in there on 05/12...and then couldn't talk him into more than 2cc.  a few days later i was calling, begging for another fill, and couldn't get in until 5/26, but he gave me an additional 5cc.  probably to shut me up!  he is an excellent surgeon, and teaches bariatric procedures at the univ of virginia.  he's been doing this for over 10 years (my mil had her rny with him in '01).  i trust him, and understand that they err on the side of caution, and, since i am 2 hours away, don't want me to end up sick with no help.  i also believe i am the exception to the norm...and trying to convince them of this has been/is difficult.

this is exactly how i feel.. 4 oz of food is not satisfying my hunger & i am so hungry after a while, i break down and overeat or pick the wrong foods that fill me.  and then i'm just more upset with myself.

fortunately, i began exercising last august, when i started my six month diet.  i started with walking, and when the weather turned cold, i headed inside to the gym.  i was doing an hour a day 3-4 days a week on the elliptical.  i started walking again at 4 weeks out, though not very regularly.  the dr told me 8 weeks before going back to the gym.  well, with the kids out of school (4 & 9) i can't get to the gym with them anyway, but i do have an elliptical in the basement.  i finally had a talk with myself in the mirror the other day and i hit the elliptical again thursday.  it felt so good.  yesterday i was in the dumps, so, no elliptical, but i did get on again today.  i know i need to exercise.  as you also said..  from working out, you have built up your stamina and muscles and are healthier than those that have had an "easier" time.  i agree with that 100%.  good for you!

i need to be more honest with myself.  i know i need exercise, and i know how i'm supposed to eat.  i'm not giving up.  this has to work.  i have no other option.  even though my loss is slow, and i still need more fills, i know that i am less today than i was 2 months ago, and i also know i will keep going down.

thank you so much for your support....i really appreciate it.


kim h:

i am very good about my fluids, and make good food choices most of the time.  getting back on the elliptical is going to help me, and so will another fill, lol!  i'm optimistic.

i too, soon will be traveling for almost 3 weeks, living in hotels...

however, the hotels provide breakfast, and i need to be accountable for my choices.  there are plenty of healthy offerings.  being on vacation will not be my excuse for making bad choices.  same thing with the restaurants i will visit.  i need to stick to my guns and use the fact that someone else is going to cook something healthy FOR me! 

how do your husband & in-laws eat?  i'm glad that you are positive about it being easier since you will be mostly at their home.  i know for me, being in someone else's home is harder, especially if they are not all geared towards a healthy lifestyle. 

anyway..thanks again so much for your support.  i truly appreciate it.


 

My husband is very good about food choices and my in-laws will be supportive as my mother-in-law's daughter had gastric bypass , so she knows what I need to do. I know I will be busy out there so I will not be concentrating on food all day every day...that is my HOPE anyway.

Good luck to you in your travels.

Keep pushing thru sometimes it takes as much as a month for people to feel their fill kick in, I never did but some folks have said it's that way for them. If you don't log your food, try that, I know that's the only way I can stay accountable. Some of us never do feel good restriction and just have to make it work anyway. Good luck!

That is true..sometimes I feel the restriction..other times not..I did, however experience "a first" last night. I discovered that I can not eat fresh mushrooms; they get stuck. That means that this is working (I know that sounds bad but I have kinda been waiting , cuz I am always asked if I am having any trouble with any foods, and up til now it was "no"). I am just gonna have to "make it work". As Tom always says(and I am probably paraphrasing) "the band is not around our brain it is around our stomach" so it is not a quick fix(I REALLY hate when someone says to me that the band MUST make it easy to lose weight! Oh if they only knew, right?)

THANK YOU FOR YOUR POST HERE!!  I have got to say I got banded April 15,2010.  I thought by now I would be WELL under 200lbs and not eating anything but a cracker....BUT here I am still able to eat normal...(potatoes, pasta, BREAD, Chicken)  Only got stuck a handful of times and that's only because I was eating too fast.  Can I say I have 9 ccs in my band.  Sure I'm down 45 pounds, but my friend with the lap band is down 100 lbs!!  So I have been VERY discouraged.  BUT I have made so much progress.  I am now a certified Zumba instructor and teach 3 times a week....hour long class.  I NEVER thought I could do that.  I know I have a ways to go, but I was hoping for "faster" results.  From my research realize bands are much different and most people don't feel good restriction until close to 10cc's.  WHY????  I don't know, but as long as your making progress that's the point of this whole journey.  I am just now realizing this, but I too wish that this would have gone a little faster.  KEEP IT UP!!!  I found that my obssesion for Zumba motivates me to keep going.  Find an activity that keep you motivated.  It really helps.  I would say Zumba accounts for 50% of my weight loss up to this point.  Maybe between the band and good food choice I'll get the other 50% I need!!  GOOD LUCK!!!

A-jsmommy,

 

What you’re going through many folk go through. So don’t be too disappointed.

 

I have a few questions for you: If you bought a new car, and it wasn’t performing like it should and you brought it back to the mechanic paid a lot of money, and he didn’t fix it the way you wanted to, what would you do? Or imagine you bought a expensive television, and it didn’t get the proper reception or channels, and the electronic store folks ignored you, what would you do? Aren’t you worth more then a car or television?

 

MY ADVICE: I would DEMAND to meet with your Doctor and talk about your concerns and frustration. The reason you’re not feeling full is because of something you’re doing wrong, but you’ll never know unless you talk to them. It could be the band isn’t doing the job. Again, you’ll never know unless you talk to them. If your Doctor refuses to address your concerns, I would suggest looking for another Doctor. I know 2 hours is a haul, and finding another Doctor may be a longer distance. However if they can address your concerns, the extra time may be worth it.

 

Know, no matter how many fills you receive, and how much restriction you get, you will still need to fight HEAD hunger. No weight loss operation in the world can prevent Head Hunger.

 

Know I (and many others) are here for you. Come back often.

thanks so much to all of you for your support!  tom, yes, i do need to talk to the dr, unfortunately, he only sees patients on thursdays, and, they apparently didn't care about seeing me last thursday (knowing that i would be out of town and unable to come in for a month - because i told his nurse that in my email to her), so, it's unfortunately going to have to wait until july 14th...i will be demanding an appt that day.  also, any bariatric surgeon is a minimum of 2 hrs from me.  i picked this dr because of my mother-in-law's experience with him, and she's a nurse!   oy....  also, i understand what you're saying about only the dr knowing what i'm doing wrong...however...what i know that i am doing wrong is that i am able too eat too much.  and that is what i hoped/thought/expected the band would help me with.  if i could push myself away from the table sooner i wouldn't be at the weight i was.  my six month diet forced me to become active and exercise.  it also forced me to make better choices.  which i still do both of today.  but if you could've seen the salad and 6 oz chicken breast i consumed this evening, you wouldn't believe me if i told you that i had wls.   and, i ate 75% of the chicken first.  i don't know how you would actually measure the romaine, but if i had to guess, there was at least 4 cups of it.  and it was rather leafy, even though i did cut it down.  shouldn't something like that get stuck?  i mean, i'm not wanting it to get stuck, but i'm not chewing it to a pulp either....    anyway, this is what i'm dealing with.  i'm not eating 3/4 of a pizza anymore, which is definitely a good thing, but, in addition to my super-sized salad today, i've also had eggs, strawberries, apples, carrots, celery, almonds, tomatoes, red & green peppers, a hamburger patty with swiss & mushrooms, and chips & salsa.  now i know the chips are not a good choice.  but the fresh salsa was so dang good!  lol..  now, why can i eat all of this?  i have talked to the nurse.  i have talked to the dietitian.  the only thing the dr seems to be looking at is the scale.  and after my first 2cc fill and gaining 2 pounds in two weeks, he gave me 5cc more.  now, i've not gained weight since, i've actually lost about 7 in three weeks.  but as you can see, i can eat.  and that is my problem.....  sigh.....