Can't get warm

I am 5 days post-op.  Got my band on Monday (Valentine's Day).  Pre-op, I did 4 days of very-low-calorie liquid diet, then one day of nothing by mouth.  I am now struggling to get down enough protein shake. skim milk, and broth to get to 80 grams of protein per day.

So, it's been about 10 days since I ate at a normal 1800-2000 cal/day level.  And I am FREEZING.  Wearing layers of clothing and my coat indoors.  I took my glovevs off to type.  I was rolled into the covers on the bed, and my husband got in under it to try to warm me up. My skin feels cold to the touch.

Not in any pain, slight abdominal discomfort.  Bloaty feel if I drink too fast. - but I ate half a slice of cheese to up my protein intake and it went down fine. Tired.  I am sleeping a solid 8-10 hours every night, but I have no energy.  I have trouble feeling motivated enough to make the effort to constantly drink the small sips of bland liquids.

is this just a result of not consuming enough fat/calories to stoke my metabolic furnace?

It took me almost 2 weeks to really start focusing on getting all my protein in.  I was in touch with my Dr's office and they were just concerned about saying hydrated until I felt good.  I was so sick from the anesthesia after surgery.  As far as having no energy same happened to me.  Think about it you just had major surgery.  You will get it back.  That's your body needing rest to heal.  I used to think I felt good and went out with my husband and in about 1 hour I needed to go back home and lay down.  Give it time!  You will feel back to yourself in no time.  Good luck and this forum is a great tool to help you.  I know it has helped me alot and still is.  

Just managed to get my protein up to 76 grams for the day, so I am happy.  I hope the skim milk I use to make protein shakes also counts into the 64 oz of liquid per day, because I have been counting skim milk and herbal tea into that.

Now i just have to get 3 more 8 oz portions of liquid down before bed.  I only had 640 calories, but I don't see how I will have time to have more food and also the 24 oz  of skim/tea/water. 

I went for a walk yesterday and had to have my husband come pick me up and bring me home.  I didnt think I could walk back - but the unusual 70-degree day in February was too good to miss.

I have not felt sick or had much pain.  More like "discomfort" as te swelling goes down and I can feel the band and the port more.

I am still COLD COLD COLD.  I have been wearing two sweaters, my coat, heavy pants, socks, slippers, AND a scarf around my neck today.  Indoors.  This is crazy.

What you are feeling is normal. The body is in a kinda shock, plus you're not "eating" the amounts you use too.

At this stage, all liquids count, unless they contain caffeine.
Make sure you are taking your vitamins. And maybe have your hubby nuzzle up to you to keep you warm :D

Know we're here for you!!

My surgeon's instructions have me not restarting vitamins until I am out of the liquid stage - 5 more days.  I only take my small thryoid pill, and whatever I get from protein supplelments and skim milk.

Today I am not feeling hungry at all, and having trouble feeling like eating or drinking at all.  I feel very full from the smallest things.  I walked half a mile and still am not hungry.  Still cold, but not as bad as yesterday.

Still have to choke down another protein shake and about 4 cups of water to hit my marks for the day.  I don't like any of the diet drinks, it's decaf/herbal tea, milk, and water for me. 

Matriarchy,

 

When I had the operation, I never felt hungry. Even to this day, as long as I follow the rules, I rarely get hungry. Not saying I don’t deal with head hunger. I need to force myself to eat in proper intervals. The lack of hunger feeling is somewhat normal, but not everyone get this.

 

Please remember, while the band is empty when implanted, there is natural swelling when the put the band in due to “trauma" and inflammation to the stomach area (please know I don’t mean trauma in a OMFG way). So it may take some time (an additional week or so) before it goes away.

 

You may want to call the Doctor and discuss this with them. I always say it’s best to hear “that’s quite normal" instead of “why didn’t you call us when this first occurred".

Depending on your Doctor, everything you're taking should be considered liquids. Maybe get some Crystal light type of powder, and/or suck on sugar-free/fat-free ice pops.

Let me know if you need a guide of what to have during the first two stages.

 

Know I am here if you need.   

I do understand head hunger. I did lose almost 40 pounds pre-band to qualify for the surgery, so I am familiiar with the various types of "hunger" feelings.  I felt ravenously hungry the first 2 days post-op - but then it was like the band "kicked in" and I really felt the restriction and stopped being hungry.

There is a grieving process.  Both for the body I am already losing, and the old connections to other people that food gave me.  I am an outsider to many asepcts of my own life now.  I didn't hate my body, and I feel sad to feel it sagging and deflating.  Hopefully, as I can exercise more, I will find new physical enjoyment in gaining strength and agility.  I'm doing this for my knees and my ankles - at least I can enjoy more use of them as I lose weight.  I have a large garden planned this summer.

I miss the flavor and feel of real food in my mouth.  I miss being part of familiy meals.  I don't enjoy watching everyone cook a dinner in which I have no role, or watching them all eat and comment on the recipe.  I work hard not to make them all feel uncomforatble eating in front of me.  I am the one that changed, not them.  I felt lost in the grocery store today, because I no longer know if we are out of bread or need bananas. I am a stranger in my own kitchen.  Yes, that will change latter, when I can eat real food in more variety. 

I do expect to crave things I cannot have.  I quit smoking  about fives years ago, and I still ocassionally crave a cigarette.  The smell of a cigar, or the taste of scotch, almost always triggers a craving.  But I have so much invested in haveing quit, that I am not going to waste it all on a passing craving.  Hoepfully, I will eventually feel that way about "trigger" foods.

Part of the reason I probably don't feel like bothering to eat is that there is no enjoyment whatsoever in it.  No sensory reward.  Just another glass of fake chocolate protein - and I am not even a big chocolate fan, but the vanilla tastes even worse. The time it takes to heat a half-cup of soup seems hardly worth the effort of pot-washing.  I'm already tired of spending 15 minutes drinking a simple glass of water.  I'm tired of my soup or tea being cold by the time I fini****

I have not yet developed new sensory habits that replace the endorphins and physical pleasure gained from cooking and eating.  I am not even allowed to have sex for another week.  I can't afford massage.  I don't have a "snuggly" husband - I was amazed that he tried to warm me up yesterday.  I am so cold I can't even get the winter comfort of snuggling in a warm bed with a book.  It's like all the comfort just drained out of my life.

I do understand that I am recovering from significant abdominal surgery.  They messed around in my guts, and my digestive system is also suffering from the shock of being deprived of food for so long.  It is not mystery that I am tired and light-headed all the time.  I didn't expect to be cold already - I thought that came with more dramatic weight loss and loss of body insulation. The stomach side of the band churns and gurgles all the time, even while the pouch side makes me feel full.  I can hear the liquids when they squirt through the band.  if I drink too fast, it get a painful hiccup to remind me I can no longer swallow a full mouthful of anything.  I even miss pooping on a more regular basis.  It seems to be a few days between each now, probably because I don't eat enough to produce more.  Gas isn't a pleasant substitute.

It all feels competely unnatural.  I knew that, going in.  I have given myself a mechanical eating disorder, on purpose.  So, it's going to be weird. 

i do have the list of what I can eat at the various stages.  Right now it is "bariatiric full liquids" - protein shakes, thin cereal, creamed soups, skim milk, decaf tea, water, broth, sugar-free pops.  I could also have crsytal-light-type drinks, but I don't like them and they make me gag after a while.  I didn't drink a lot of bottled drinks before, so I don't need crystal light to "replace" that for me.  I crave savory food, not sugar. I have popsicles, but they don't add much protein and they tend to be too sweet and too fake for me.  My kids are eating them..

I have taken some control of my food. The salt and MSG in the canned broth and soups was killing me, so I made my own stock and soup. Smooth curried split pea, my own low-fat cream of potato recipe made with roasted pork stock.  I am not sure of the protein or calorie counts, but they are low-fat and I am only eating half a cup at a time.  I have already jumped through the insurance hoops and gotten the surgery - the results on THIS side of surgery are only for me, not to prove anything to a surgeon or an insurance company.

I tape a daily food log sheet to the front of the fridge.  I think it helps me feel accountable, that everyone can see it, even if no one in my house really looks at it.  I'm not cheating.  I worked too hard, through the worst year of my life, to qualify for this surgery - I am not going to screw it up now.

I am supposed to have been assigned a post-op "angel" by the surgeon's office, and I have not heard from her, yet.  I will give her a call on Monday, and discuss the issue of being so cold.  Maybe there is something that helps - like upping the carb level a bit.

Thanks for your replies, Tom.  You seem to be an enthusiastic message board supporter.  I'm having trouble feeling supported at this stage.  I don't want to annoy everyone around me with my  gastric preoccupation.

Matriarchy,

Decided to check on line one last time before heading to bed. I am exhausted, and promise to reply sometime tomorrow (Monday) after snow shoveling and doing some stuff around the house.

However I wanted to say this before I head off .. Always know you can contact me during your time. I know you'll soon have an angel, and I am glad. But in case you ever need to talk, vent, question, etc - I am more then willing to give you my contact info. I refuse to let any sibling walk RECOVERY ROAD alone!! 

Off to bed. But promise a book sometime tomorrow.

TTFN !!

Matriarchy,

 

I now have the time and energy to answer you. I am hoping my replies are being conveyed in the way I am intending it, and not being preachy or accusatory. All I am trying to do is be helpful.

 

I am totally with you, and understand/comprehend your grieving feelings. I have/had the same thing. Food was always my best friend, and was there to help celebrate victories or console me is my sorrows. However I also needed to realize the “friendship" I was in wasn’t as an equal, but abusive. Food abused me, and was like a drug dealer. It would tempt me, and hook me. The cravings were uncontrollable, and unbearable. No matter how much I would consume, it wouldn’t be enough. I am glad I am removed from that relationship.

 

In time, those friends you equate with food with return. And when they do you will either have the strength from the band to celebrate your friends, but food won’t be necessary. Or you may find these people are trying to sabotage you with food, and if they are then you need to ask yourself if they are really a friend. Because a friend would never tempt you, but a true friend will only encourage you and support you in your goal.

 

You’re thinking about the losses, but you need to begin to think about the gains. You gain confidence in yourself; You will gain self worth; You will gain relationships again (old and new); You will gain a wonderful group of friend from the boards and support groups; You will gain a wonderful outlook on your life and the future. And once this happens, those loses you grieve will be replaced by the highs of the gains.

 

In the beginning stages all foods seem bland, and it’s because it is (:D). But once you begin to get onto the solid stage, and begin to experiment with foods again, those flavors return. A good band will allow you to eat those foods you love, except in smaller portions. There will be some foods you no longer can eat (usually a dry food, or something gummy), but for the most part you’ll have a very varied selection of food to chose from.

I won’t lie, the cravings will still be there. And probably will be for life. But the band is the tool that helps me control these cravings, and gives me the strength to refrain. Again, not all the time but 90+% of the time. I try to remind myself that there are 365 days of the year. If I am on target for 340 of those days, I am doing great. For the first year, I didn’t deviate from the food plan I was given. I felt I didn’t earn it. As time went on, I would go occasionally go “off" from my eating regiment, but that would only last a day or so then I would go back on track. If I didn’t, I gained weight and that meant I needed to go back to basics.

 

Trigger foods are those foods I stay far away from. I know peanut butter in the house can only mean disaster. So I don’t bring it in. Why would I want to sabotage myself? And if I want to have some, I wait until I am out so I can ‘try" it and limit the amount I can eat.

 

New and old sensory habits will return over time. And in no time at all you’ll be having relationships with your hubby again. You just need to have a little patience.

 

I am glad to read you’re journaling. It took me almost 3 years to realize how important journaling is. Since I have, I have been more focused and think twice what I am putting in my mouth. I read labels a lot more, and stop and really think “is it worth it".

 

As I mentioned before, I am here to give you any support you need. So just ask.

 

I will end this now. You’re probably sleeping :D!!

 

Have a good one, and make sure you let us know how things go as you continue down the RECOVERY ROAD!!

I do appreciate the time you are taking to encourage me, Tom.

I feel a little less like I lost a friend, and more like I lost an identity.  Food is what i do, less what I eat. I used to cook professionally. I am the provider in my family, the hunter-gatherer that makes our small food budget stretch to 5 people.  I grow food, preserve it, procure the things we don't grow, maintain the pantry, plan and cook the meals, manage the kitchen.  My whole family cooks, kids and all.  We all have our specialties, and enjoy collecting recipes, testing new ideas, and spotting things the others will like.  I am the #1 recipe leader on a food website, and had a food/garden blog for several years.  I am knowledgable about food security issues, give workshops on food waste, local food, food security for college students.  I organize soup and canning events at church.  people follow my facebook feed to see what I am cooking for dinner. I organize and cook for youth events. "Potluck" is a verb mong my friends, and we enjoy scavaging local specialty stores for new things to share with each other. 

And now, while I can still do many of those things, my involvement will be less personal.  I know i can spend a lot of time converting heirloom recipes into healthy versions, and I can try to fool my family into eating them - but right now I can't even get my partner to share his insistance that dinner be at 8pm.  That's too late for my new schedule.  I can let him keep eating then, but it means we will stop eating the main family meal together.  I will cook separetely for myself, then the rest  of the family.  i realize I may have to leave some people behind, possibly including my partner of 14 years - but it certainly does not make me happy to think about it.

Food is not the only thing in my life - far from it, and I can shift my focus from the cooking end to the gardening end - even though I won't be eating many raw vegetables any more.  I can continue to help people move from eating packaged food to fresh local food.  I can continue to encourage slow cooking over fast food.  All those things fit in with my new eating pattern.  i wasn't a bad eater to start with - I was a too-frequent eater,  too late, and not enough exercise to burn it off.

I have confidence and self-worth. That self-worth almost stopped me from getting the surgery, because I felt like I was mutilating myself.  I feel less whole now,  more like a patient - permanently.  I have never lacked for romance and sex in my life - a concept that seems hard for people, including my doctor, to believe.  Everyone thinks fat people don't have sex.  That's just wrong.  I can't help but worry that my "new" body will  be uglier than the fat one, just as i also turn 50 and struggle with a relationship that took an ugly turn last year.  I am more insecure now than when I was fatter.

i just don't feel that I am leaving behind a terrible life for a wonderful new thin life.  I am *just* losing weight.  I am delaying the knee replacement I will one day need - I wrecked my knees doing construction work, and made them worse by becoming sedentary and fat.  I am restoring the poor venous circulation to my feet.  It won't cure my apnea - mine comes from narrow throat formation.  I *will* feel better, physically, after a while,  I am increasing my tai chi and walking, as my plantar faciatis already receeds a bit.

But it comes with a cost.  I no longer control my digestion.  I wear an appliance.  It takes me forever to drink a damn glass of water.  I think I am just going to be pissed off at the Universe for a while, because I can't eat like my thinner friends. Then, I'll adapt.

Tonight, I made dinner that all of us could eat at the same time - still too late in the day, but at least I was less of an alien in my ktichen.  i made potato soup.  The rest of them ate it with strips of spicy grilled pork. and garlic brocolli.  I ate mine super-pureed with no meat.  I enjoyed a bit of hot sauce and used fat -free ham stock to add depth of flavor and protein.  The rest of the day was all protein supplements and water.

And a friend of mine offered me a pedicure. That should re-direct my attention for a alittle while.

I will eventually stop being so pissed off, Tom.  I found out the diet book I was given had the wrong times for the various stages, so I will not be on liquids for a whole two weeks - just two more days until I can experience the joy of pureed scarmbled eggs.  Yay!

I like your idea of 90-some percent behaving, after a year.  Thats about two days a month of a little silliness.

But i am damned well having some birthday cake when I turn 50 in June!