Sorry I've been MIA

 I haven't been on OH in almost 2 months and I've really missed everyone. Life, as it does, caught me off guard and upset my apple cart.

My brother-in-law died unexpectedly on October 12th and I had to go to my sister's to help her and support her as much as possible. She has health problems of her own and ended up in the ER the night before the memorial service. During the service she suffered a seizure and we ended up back at the ER. She's doing better now but it's been a long, emotional journey.

During this same period my mother has been slipping into dementia and frequently doesn't know whether we're visiting her or not. Right now she's fixated on getting some reindeer out of a trap! (Where'd that come from???) She's dependent on the staff of the nursing home (who all deserve a special place in heaven) for all of her needs. She can't feed herself or clean herself or even move herself in her wheelchair. My dad died 1 year ago today (11/22) and she misses him terribly. We suspect this is her last Thanksgiving so we're making an effort to spend it with her.

I didn't have good restriction with my band and, I'm sorry to say, I really fell into old emotional eating habits. At one point in the last 6 weeks I had gained 13 pounds. I stopped going to the gym and stopped logging my food. I haven't made it back to the gym yet but am back on a sensible eating plan and logging my food. In the last week I've dropped almost 6 pounds for a total gain of 6.6 pounds from my lowest.

I'm glad to be back and will try to catch up with everyone. No journey is without its rough patches and I've been going through one. What's done is done and the past can't be changed. What I can do is rededicate myself to my future and get back on track. It's time to resume my journey to better health and I'm glad to have you all as traveling companions.

Welcome back Rich...so sorry for your loss and the troubles you are having.  I know how you feel...life has been crazy around here too!

Hi Rich and welcome back! I am sorry for the loss of your brother in law...God bless him. My parents are aging as well...and it can be daunting to care for them and ourselves as well. I hope that this is a Happy Thanksgiving for your Mom and your entire family!
I think you have the right attitude! You're right...whats done is done, don't beat yourself up over it. You are getting back in the bandwagon saddle and you will find your way again. With everything that you have been dealing with I think you have done incredibly well!
That 6.6 will melt away before you know it and then some!
Hang in there and please know we are here for you anytime!
Leslie

Rich,

 

Glad to see you’re back – and sorry to hear about your past two months. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

 

Now, being the type of Ahole you’ve come to know and love, here is a little tough love concerning your current eating habits .. Yesterday is over and done with. There is nothing we can do about it. Tomorrow is NOW, and it’s time to get yourself back on track.

 

First – remember this isn’t a diet plan; it’s a way of life. So slips, stumbles and falls will occur. What we do when this happens is truly important. You need to get yourself up, dust yourself off, and get yourself to continue down the road to success.

 

What you first need to do is ask yourself “Where did I come from" .. then ask yourself “Why did I do this operation" – basically the answer is because it’s a last resort.

 

You need to realize you are stronger than any craving or any food. It took strength to admit you have a problem you can’t control. It took strength to decide to have an operation. It took strength to do what was needed before and after the operation. It took strength to say “I need help" .. So you have the strength, now you need to call on it.

 

GET BACK TO THE BASICS !! I tell everyone that. Pretend today was day one of the operation and go back to a strict liquid diet. Do this for a few days (maybe a week), then go onto the next stage of soft food then finally regular food. What you are doing it is detoxing your body of the sugars and bad carbs. When you find yourself hungry – eat .. but SENSIBLE foods. Make sure you also follow all the rules.

 

You need to go back and follow the rules that made you successful. You need to have the 64 ounces of NON-CARBONATE/DECAFFEINATED liquid. You need to have your 60 to 80 grams of protein. You need to make sure you don’t drink 30 minutes before/after or during your meal. 

 

What you need to remember is they put the band around your stomach, and not around your brain. You will need to use some self control when it comes to food. If you are hungry stop and ask yourself is this real hunger or head hunger. Asking that alone will probably be an indication it’s head hunger, so you know what to do. Get busy doing something else. If that doesn’t work, EAT – but SOMETHING HEALTHY. Have some salad; vegetables, PROTEIN, etc.

 

You need to get to support groups that deal with eating. The 12 step program can easily be converted for “food addicts". If you need more, then look on line to find ones around you. 

 

REMEMBER what it took to make you successful. YOU CAN DO IT !!

 

Now – get off your a55 – stop making excuses – and (sorry Nike) JUST DO IT!!

 

And know my phone(s) are always open if you need help or at least someone impartial to vent to.

 

Have a great Thanksgiving!!

PS - your before and after pictures look great and look so inspiring!!

 

Thanks, Tom (and everyone else who's responded). There are no coincidences (just small miracles where God prefers to remain anonymous! ) The topic at my home group Saturday was "remember to remember." I never ever want to forget where I came from in many areas of my life. I carry several of my "before" pictures on my iPhone so I can always remind myself (and show off to people -- I'm particularly proud of my humility! )

I've been doing much better. I just checked my weight this morning and I'm only 4.2 pounds over my lowest weight. There's actually a chance I could achieve one of my goals and be under 200 pounds by the beginning of the new year. As my signature says, it's one day at a time.

You have a nice, gentle face... good to see you back.  Sorry to hear about your losse... it's part of our 'filling our holes' too.  My mother-in-law has Dementia too, it's a very sad disease, she was diagnosed last year about this time, I really think she had it a long time ago, but I see her declining so fast now.  My husband is one of nine kids, so we're all trying to pitch in... it's always so hard.  I had baths on Sundays, but my back was killing me so I had to let that go for now.

I think you have the right attitude.  Just hang in there - get back on the horse, so to speak. 
Enjoy the holidays with the family.

Rich,
My heart goes out to you and your family.  So glad you're back!  I agree wholeheartedly with Tom.  You can do this!!!  I have no doubt.  You have been and are an inspiration to me!  Keep us posted on your journey and have a wonderful and peaceful Thanksgiving...and what the heck, take a bite of pumpkin pie!
-Heather