I STILL SEE A BIG GIRL IN THE MIRROR

I am trying to figure out how it is that I am the smallest I have ever been in my life but I still see myself as fat and I still feel like the biggest girl in the room when I hardly am most of the time now. I don't understand it. I know its a mental thing but how can I get past it?!
People call me skinny and small and I shudder and feel embarrassed like they're picking at me. I really don't know how to accept the praise when I don't see what they see. I just thank them and tell them that I don't think I look skinny but thanks anyway.
My doctor told me that I can stop losing weight at this point if I want to but I am determined to get to 165 atleast. I want to be as close to 150 as I can get but there isn't a soul that I know except for my personal trainer who is okay with that. My boyfriend says that he won't be attracted to me if I get down to 150 and  and the rest of my peers have issues with that goal as well.
I know its not about the numbers but the numbers mean so much to me even though I am able to look at myself every now and then and think that I may look a bit tired or aged. Its a battle...people think its all victory dance but there are other issues attached to losing almost 1/2 of who you once were in a years time.
People you've known for years have to be reminded of who you are when you see them in the streets. I almost feel as if I have a new identity and thats somewhat scary. Does anyone else experience this?

What you are experiencing is what many of us experience. I have always had a “reality image" problem, and no tool can change that except seeing a psychologist.

 

As for the weight you want to be – with all do respect, don’t stop until you hit YOUR GOAL!! You did this FOR YOU!! No one should dictate what your happy number should be. Of course, if it’s an unhealthy number, then ok. But if 150 is going to make you happy, then I say GO FOR IT!!

Truth is, you may never hit that number - but that shouldn't stop you. Heck my goal is 232. I've been around 250 since January, and I am happy. I keep trying to 232. If I never hit it, that's fine because I know it's better than 435.

Good luck and know I am here if you need.

Thanks Tom...you are so right. My doc told me that he didn't want me to be dissapointed if I don't hit the 150 goal or even the 165 goal. I won't be dissapointed...it would be fine for me to be able to maintain even if I don't lose more.