Grrrrrr I'm pissed

Found out this morning that DH told his mother (who I barely have a relationship with) as well as his best friend about my surgery.  He knows that I wanted to keep this issue private, and have not revealed my surgery to my friends or family.  This morning his mother called to find out how much weight I have lost.  Now half the state will find out about my surgery....maybe it's not a big deal to others, but to me it is.  I'm really angry and feeling betrayed. 

He knows that I am not telling anyone about my surgery because I don't want to be the postergirl for WLS, don't want people watching me eat, asking me about my weight, etc. etc.  I just want to get healthy and move on with my life.  I just don't want to talk about it with non WLS people, and don't want to get into this very personal decision with anyone.  Took me a really long time to get here (years).

I'm not talking to him now, and have told him I am done telling him *anything* from this point forward. He's out of the loop.

I understand.  I was mad when my husband told his bf too.  I haven't told very many people for the same exact reasons as yours.  But, you need to keep him in the loop on somethings.  You'll need a support system of some sort for after you have your surgery.  Just keep that in mind.  But, I understand you being upset with him. 

Thanks for your reply.
I plan on getting the support I need in person at Bariatric Support Groups as well as the various internet message boards I go too.

We're talking again, and he has apologized....however it's a little late for that.  The horse is already out of the barn.

I'm sorry that you had to go through that.  My hubby told his Mom that I was having the surgery before I was ready for him to and that led to her telling my sis-in-law.  I was hoping not to share this with all of the family as I know some will not be supportive and I don't really want to have to deal with the snarky comments.  But, what is done is done.  I was mad for a while, but got over it, because I really am going to need the help and support that my hubby and mother-in-law can give.  I also plan on attending support groups - there's one I'll be going to the week before my surgery. 
Anyway, just rambling.  Hopefully you will not have to deal with unsupportive people and comments because of your hubby's thoughtlessness. 
Best of luck and I hope your recovery is going well.  Keep us posted.
-Heather

While I understand this is a private matter, and it's totally up to you who should or shouldn't know, but have you stopped to think maybe your Husband is truly proud of you for taking steps to better your life/health? And if your Mother-in-law is the type who thinks less of you (I don't know if this is the case), maybe he is showing your Mom that you're a stronger and better person than she gives you credit for.

Again, you are correct it should be your decision who and who doesn't know, however maybe your husband is so overjoyed he can't contain himself.

And finally, maybe as you lose your weight, you can gain a better relationship with your M.I.L. (if thats' what you want).

Ugh, that sucks and of course she didn't call to see how you are dealing with it, coping, are you in pain.  Nope, she wanted to know how much weight you lost.  So annoying.  I'd slap your DH upside the head for you.  It took a lot of explaining to my mom (thankfully, my husband totally understood) why I wanted this to be private for now.  Until you've walked in my shoes and know how I feel then don't judge me and I don't owe explanations to anyone, so I just was not ready to tell the world, yep I know I am super morbidly obese, I pretty much have started to hate myself in every way and my weight is now controlling my life in very negative ways.  I just needed time to deal with the surgery, the changes I need to make, the control I needed to get back and let my self esteem start to rebuild.  It's amazing what succeeding will do for all them areas, and I feel so great now, but it's your choice on who to tell.  I'm sorry you gotta deal with this here on out.  Just let it in one ear and out the other.  If it makes you feel better, I've lost almost 80 pounds and my mother in law won't even acknowledge I've lost weight.  Nice, huh?  

Boo

You totally get it.  Congrats on your success :) 

Hope you don't mind my 2 cents worth.... I decided right from the beginning to be open about my decision to have surgery.  I felt that the more I talked about it - the more information I gathered.  Someone always knows someone who had something done.  It was helpful.  I am now one year post-op.  My girlfriends, husband, kids, family don't really even ask me about it anymore.  I get the occasional - "You look great!".  That is wonderful.  Once the initial questions are answered for everyone - it just becomes a non-issue.  My mother will occasionally ask some annoying question - but I have learned to handle her :))))  Good luck.