WHAT TO TELL KIDS

I have been "lurking" on this site for awhile but now that I am actually setting my surgery date, I am excited to participate.  I was wondering how others have handled their children in terms of what to tell them about the procedure, why Mommy is only drinking liquids, not eating, etc?  My kids are 8 and 10 years old and one is super skinny (takes after my DH) and one is a little heavier (takes after me).  I don't want to worry them and/or provoke any weight concerns with my younger one.  I am thinking of just telling them that I am having stomach surgery to "fix something" but not fully explaining that it is for weight loss.  Any thoughts?

I don't have an answer but have the same concerns.  My daughter is 4 so probably doesn't need that much info but I don't want her to grow up crazy about her weight..  My mom was/is thin was always on a diet and it definitely affected me.  I don't want my daughter to have the same issues.

That's exactly what I did.  My kids are just a little younger than yours.  What's most important is the changes that you make after surgery - i.e., healthy foods for the whole family, exercising, etc.  Those are the things that the kids should take away from this event.  If you do it right, they will hopefully never have to consider WLS of their own.

Best of luck to you in your surgery!

My daughter is 4 and I didn't tell her anything and she didn't notice the food stuff.  Ever since the New Year back in January we have totally changed our household eating style.  We just keep healthier snacks (fruit, cheese sticks, graham crackers etc) around and talk about healthy eating, NOT dieting.  I think it's been so great for her and she loves it, but in a good way.  I went on mypyramid.gov and they have a toddler section for the food pyramid and we printed it out and would go over where that food goes in the pyramid.  It was a fun way to get healthy and it made me feel good knowing I am breaking the cycle that was taught to me.  I may not be perfect, but it makes me proud I am doing something right.  LOL

As far as the older kids, I would tell them a hiatal hernia or something and you need to do the liquids to give your stomach time to heal.  Tell them it's on the stomach and that's why your doing it.  I doubt they will think much of it. 

Also, welcome and glad you came out of lurking.  It's always nice to have some new here.  Good luck and keep us posted!!!  :D

Boo

I personally believe in being honest with kids and I think that at 8 and 10 they are old enough to understand what is going on and why.  It can be a very good  time to begin to speak with them about healthy eating and living...making good food choices...eating for fuel and nutrition, etc. 

I think it is ok for kids to know that sometimes parents need help, and the reasons why you are seeking this kind of help...that you want to be alive and healthy not only for yourself...but for them and their children as well. 

My best wishes to you...and I am sure that you will make the best decision for your family.
Leslie

I was totally honest with my girls and they are 5 and 8 I have always been honest with them and their questions.
My oldest has said she is going to help me after surgery and this is a great teaching time for them, teaching them that we are choosing to eat healthy and its okay to get help and I am doing it for myself and my girls so they don't have to go thru what I did at their age.

Yeah, I would have to say I agree about just telling the kids.  My daughters are 4 and 18 months, but when they are older and can understand it, I do plan on telling them that I had a band put in.  It would be so over her head right now.  If she sees my scars though she will ask to kiss and make em better and ask how my Boo Boo's are?  It's cute.    Anyway, I am sure if we sit and think their are age appropriate ways to tell our children.  It's still your choice in the end and if you really don't want too, you'll figure that out too.

Boo

My kids were about that age when I had my surgery.  I was honest.  Here is my reasoning.  You fear provoking weight concerns, well, they are going to see how very little you eat.  They need to know why you are eating far less than they are or they may think THEY are over eating.  Explain it in health terms, not weight terms.  You are doing this to be healthy, not thin.  Also, they may witness a time when you get "stuck".  That could be very scary for them if they are not aware of why you are having pain or for goodness sake's... vomitting.  I had a very bad "stuck" episode and my kids witnessed the entire thing.  I had picked up something from a drive thru, in a HUGE hurry and instead of chewing slowly, I was not mindful and took too big of a bite.  Well, needless to say, I had to pull over every half mile to vomit.  My kids were slightly scared, but it was easy to explain that nothing was really wrong, I would be fine because I could be honest with why it was happening. 
That is my two cents... feel free to keep the change!

Oh, and to this day I will NEVER go to that restraunt again.  Don't want to go through that again!!!

I have concerns about what to tell my 8 yr old son too....I'm also concerned he'll blab all over my little town, and I'll become the poster girl for WLS.  I wasn't planning on telling anyone but DH....