I am starting to freak out!

So I took care of my bloodwork today, they took like 12 vials of blood. Isn't that alot?

My surgery was orginally 12/02/2009 but the doctor had asked me to change it to 12/11/09 which was fine. So now that its becoming reality I am starting to freak out... scared that I will not be able to go through with the surgery or I will fail at all the things that will change. The fact that I am self pay upsets me too. What if something goes wrong and I need to have another surgery? I know that everyone here that has done this has likely had these same feelings. Its the calm before the storm I guess...when will I feel better ?

What you are going through it perfectly normal. I call this the Weight Loss Roller-coaster. You will have many highs and lows (mostly highs) during the entire journey.

The answer to when you feel better is .. well .. I don't know .. to this day (21 months out) I still have fear and doubt that I will be successful in the long run. And I love that feeling. Why, because it keeps me honest and focused. I don't want to get to "smug" and think I have it beat, then that's when I usually fail. However, in the 21 months I also have such great joy to see where I was to where I am today. That's why I call it a roller-coaster. You can be high because you have lost weight, but have a low because you are afraid you will go back to the beginning.

Know we are here to help you along this entire journey.

I am feeling the same way.  My surgery date is 11-23-09 and I have started 10 day pre op diet and am having most of the feelings you are.  I am having 15 people over for dinner for Thanksgiving 3 days after my surgery...that should be a trip.  Luckily my children and husband are on board and very supportive...but the people coming to dinner have no clue I am going down this road. 
But I have found out the people on this site have been so helpful, so uplifting and very informative.  The best thing I could have done was post my trepidations....Read on...its very uplifting...I am starting to feel more positive and less nerve wracked..however...I have 10 days of this liquid stuff till my surgery date. 
Keep us posted and really, I have found comfort in this website.

I had surgery on 11/16 and I must tell you that I would not be able to prepare dinner for 15 people three days after surgery.  I felt okay and pushed too much.  I am now back in the bed exhausted.  Be careful.  DON'T try to be super woman.  You will need time for your body to heal.

Oh wow..I am hopefully doing NOTHING for dinner...my husband is a good guy and loves to cook and I know he will do whatever is possible to ensure I don't over due it.  I have to grown daughters that have also promised to come early and pitch in before and after...If it is a bad day for me, I will just announce what I had done and go to bed....
Now my worries are the Black Friday Sales....I usually go shopping on Black Friday...
Choices, Choices, Choices...we shall see

Thanks for sharing.

Your totally normal, I remember getting the same exact feelings before my surgery.  Like, holy crap this is REALLY happening, will it go ok, can I do it, will it work, dear Lord what if I fail?  It's so normal...it's a big step you are taking.  You ARE strong to be here though taking it and it takes courage, IMO, to move forward.  You will be fine and do great.  Keep us posted. 

Less then a month to go....

Boo

HEY MEL!

You are normal!If you werent feeling this way there would be something wrong. This is a big decision and I had my usual large ticket item panic attack when I wrote those checks out...especially the one to the hospital! LOL and You know what Im talkin about! LOL 

Did you have your blood work done at Potomac? They took alot out of me too...bu I dont remember the number of vials they took though.

I understand about something happening and needing another surgery...but I guess I just threw that in the back of my mind somewhere and thank God that everything is ok....and try to do my best to make sure I dont cause any issues myself.

Its coming up soon....Im sure everything will be great!

Mel, what you are feeling is normal.  But, keep in your mind that you are taking a big step towards improving your health and well being.  I have only lost 18lbs since my surgery on 10/21 but already I have cut my blood pressure meds in half!!!  I feel much better and feel more alive than I have in a very LONG time.  You can do it...focus on the positives and that will get you thru!!!