surgery scheduled...friend not supportive

I just got my surgery date yesterday and I'm getting banded on August 7th.  I'm so excited and feel like this tool will really be a help to me.  I've only told my closest friend and she is really having a tough time with it.  She wonders why I can't exercise 3 hours a day (she's an exercise fanatic) and go on a diet program.  She told me she thinks I'm giving up by having this surgery.  Said I was exchanging one prison for another.
Needless to say I was very upset.  She apologized and confessed that she didn't know why she was so sad about this for me.
I am so excited about having the surgery.  Trying not to second guess myself. 
Just had to get this off my chest and knew someone on here would understand!
thanks
Hope

 I was called yesterday and informed that my insurance had approved my procedure.  I'm very excited about my July 28th surgery date.  I wondered for a long time about whether I should do it or not.  I have felt on some level that it's taking the easy way out.  Then I realized that it doesn't matter.  The ONLY thing that matters is becoming healthy again.  I've done great on diets and exercise before and I've failed also.  This procedure is by no means a walk in the park.  You will still have to do hard work and make choices.  Many people will support you, but some will not.  Some people like having fat friends because they like to be the "beautiful" one of the group.  I'm not saying that this describes your friend, but she may be afraid of the change.  Just keep your mind and focus on working the program.  You only have one life and it's much easier to live with a little less weight.  I hope your surgery goes very well and that you achieve the goals that you have set for yourself. Good luck to you.

i told not one soul.....reason being: THE FOOD POLICE! PEOPLE WHO KNOW AND ESPECIALLY  THOSE WHO ARE NOT SUPPORTIVE will watch everything you put in your mouth and want to question your every move...so no,i did not tell a soul and i am very happy for that fact. i lose my way.....
good luck 
lori 

Hope,

This is EXACTLY the reason why I did not want to tell anyone about my surgery.  Most people will never understand how the band really works, nor will they understand the need for some added help if they have never been overweight.  Taking away my hunger has enabled me to stay on my diet and get the exercise that I need, which would never have happened without the surgery.  Definitely do not second guess yourself, but also don't be too upset at your friend either.  It can sometimes be a very lonely journey but so well worth it.  Just keep coming to OH where you can find people *****ally understand your situation.  Best of luck!

thanks for your support and advice!

I hope that your friend comes around and realizes that she should support you, not condemn you. The choice to have weight loss surgery is a very difficult and personal one. Just ask that your friend understand that you need the help this tool will provide, as obviously you have been unsuccessful without it. By choosing the band, we all have "realized" (pun intended) that we need a more substantial reminder of when we are full, that our own system is out-of-whack!

Sit back and tell or don't tell, but if you do tell, be prepared for the good and bad to come out of peoples mouths. I, for one, have been very forthright with everyone I know about getting banded. I have worked for the same company for almost 16 years and most of the people I work with have seen me struggle with my weight, especially after a car accident in 2002 which left me with leg problems. Almost every person I work with understands and salutes my decision. I have been open about the procedure and what it means to me and I have been very fortunate to have many positive discussions about eating and nutrition with my co-workers. Be patient with others and they will be patient and understanding with you. I think, if you are "hiding" it then you must be ashamed of it. Just my opinon.

Best of luck to you and believe in yourself!

thanks so much.
I was planning on being open...I agree with what you said about being ashamed and hiding it.  I really appreciate your words!!
thanks!

Most people are ignorant when it comes to Weight Loss surgery. Folks can understand drug addiction, alcohol addiction, gambling addiction, even Sex addiction – but when it comes to food addiction - people are ignorant.

 

I only had two people tell me “I took the easy way out". I ask them “If I had a pacemaker installed, would you consider that the ‘easy way out’?".

 

Then I ask, what about them and how many “easy way out" things do they do and no one comments such as

 

Eating food – did they hunt for it, or took the easy way out and bought it at a

store

 

Housing – did they build their shelter, or took the easy way out and live in a home that was built by someone else

 

Traveling – did they walk to where they are, or took the easy way out and used a vehicle

 

Clothing – did they make their outfits, or took the easy way out an went to a store

 

Heating – did they chop down the tree or mine the coal, or took the easy way out and have a company deliver it

 

OK – people will say I am ridiculous for those statements, and then I say – no more ridiculous then the statement they made. Until you’re me – you’ll never know what I went through and how hard of a decision this was – so don’t judge me and I would judge them and their stupidity.

 

The one thing I have gained from this surgery is confidence. I don’t need to be the “lovable non-confrontational" fat person any longer. I can be the confident fat person who is taking control of his life. And at the end of the day, who’s life is it anyway. EF them I say !!

 

The easy way out???

First, let me state that living the life banded is NOT easy.  If someone is thinking about having the band because it is easy, they really really need to rethink their decision.  It isn't easy.  It is a struggle.  You have to relearn every eating behavior you grew up with.  Man, try eating without drinking FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!  Now, that is difficult. Sure, it all sounds great, but when you add all the small behaviors together, it can be a real struggle.  You will still have to excercise, still watch what you eat... sounds like every other person who is concerned with their health. 

Second, don't second guess yourself.  If you have educated yourself (and I am sure your surgeon/program has done that) you know what is right for you.  Some people may not understand, but hey... that's what we are for!

Carolen

  HEY HOPE , U WILL DO WELL  WITH THE BAND    I WAS BANDED LAST JULY 23RD? STARTED OUT WITH  A WEIGHT OF 340 AND NOW I'M 244.   ITS JUST A TOOL JUST LIKE U SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO USE IT?  YOU WILL DO WELL WITH IT JUST REMEMBER THAT YOU HAVE TO CHEW ,CHEW ,CHEW . AND EVERY THING  WILL  BE  ALRIGHT,MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE IN FOODS AND DO THE EXERCISE  OH  DRINK  LOTS  OF WATER?   
                                                                                                 GOOD LUCK JUDIE