If it were me I would attempt to get him to go to marriage counseling just so that I knew that I had exhausted every resource to help before giving up on my marriage. You absolutely do NOT deserve to be treated like that. And if he treats you this bad, think how he will treat the baby that he's obviously less-than-thrilled about. If he won't agree to go to marriage counseling or if it doesn't help then my advice would be to get out ASAP and with a hurry! It won't be the easiest road to walk given how long you've been together and the fact that there is now a child involved but the longer you wait to leave he harder it will be to do. I left my husband last August after having been together nearly 7 years. It took one gigantic act for him to prove himself unfit as a partner or even a father and to get me to finally leave but I swept a lot of things under the rug and settled for being treated like dirt for a long time before that. I didn't see what I was worth. And until recently, after finding someone who treats me like a queen, I didn't realize how little I was settling for in my marriage all those years.

My prayers and love are with you as you make this tough decision.

I was so excited to find out that I was pregnant, I did a jig in the bathroom. With all the problems pre-surgery (diabetes, adanomal tumor on the pituitary) I didn't think I would be able to have kids. In fact multiple doctors told me that chances were slim and as I got older they would get slimmer. Finding out that at 31 I was pregnant I was over the moon. I told my spouse of 8 years about it and he went to bed without saying anything, the next day when I asked him if he wanted to talk about it he told me there was nothing to talk about, that I should go to the doctor to make sure first. I had taken 4 pregnancy tests all positive. Well I went to the doctor and confirmed I am 11 weeks pregnant! His reaction was still not what I expected or wanted. He didn't want to talk about it at all. 

Recently he has found many reasons to pick fights over small things which turn into him screaming at me for extended periods of time. He calls me names and tells me I'm pathetic and selfi**** should be noted here, that for the last 7 months I have paid our rent and utilities as well as the groceries and other bills on my own. He has two kids from a previous relationship that he supports, but he doesn't contribute much at all to our life together. In fact when he takes them to dinner (with or without me) I end up paying for it. 

Once I was pregnant I guess I thought, maybe hoped, that he would be more compassionate and caring. That he would treat me a little better. No I didn't expect him to completely change, but show the respect and care that anyone would expect at anytime from a person they are spending their life with. Tonight was another blow up over something small and relatively insignificant. He was on his way home and going to pick up pizza, I knew he had sometime to wait while the pizza was being made so I called him. He answered the phone in an annoyed tone, first thing out of his mouth was "Yessss? What do you want??" This reaction to me calling hurt, this is not the first time he has reacted this way. I tried to pu**** off and told him I just thought I would call while he had time, but that I would talk to him when he got home. He could tell I was upset by how he reacted but said ok and hung up. When he got home he asked me what was wrong and I calmly told him that it hurt when he reacted annoyed that I had called him. He looked at me like I was insane told me to knock it off and drop the attitude. Which just made me feel worse. While serving up the pizza he decided that the best way to act was to ignore me.. until he yelled that he had done nothing wrong and I was the problem. I told him that how he acted was hurtful. He proceeded to spend the next hour screaming at me of how immature, pathetic and stupid I was. He told me I was a psychotic whack job, and that I was a piece of **** for getting mad that he didn't answer the phone how I wanted and that if I wasn't so selfish that maybe I wouldn't have ruined the whole night. I sat quietly on the couch and listened to him rant, I knew from past experiences that trying to talk to him in this state wouldn't get me anywhere. Shortly after his screaming session he left. 

I have told him in the past that I do not want to live my life with someone who cannot treat me with respect, and that I think he needs to work on his anger management. Now that I am pregnant I am afraid that it will not change. I don't think that any man should treat a woman (or vice versa) with screaming disrespectful demeaning words just to try to prove some point. 

I know with pregnancy that hormones go wild, but I think I had reacted calmly and tried my best to communicate being hurt by his actions. At this point I am not too sure what to do. 

If you made it this far.. Thanks for reading

Bernerbelle

Hi Meli!

If you do a search on here, you will find that there are lots of posts regarding this subject "pregnancy after tummy tuck" - I think you'll even find some from me.

It seems that your stomach will go back almost as flat as it was (weight if gained seems to redistribute in other places).  It takes longer for you to "show".  Your stomach also can feel tight as you are going along in your pregnancy.  The thing is you're a "shorty" and that really does not leave the baby much space??? I would think the pregnancy would stretch you more.  I don't know.  You'll have to take your chances.  

The point is,  being pregnant after a TT  has been done over and over again and you will be fine with a pregnancy after a full tummy tuck - muscle tightening and all.  Just do not get pregnant too soon post TT even though people have (I don't think they were comfortable).

Glad you are doing so well.  You deserve all the best!!!

Be well,

Leila

I' so blessed to have this little one coming in april! Congrats to everyone on here! I was wondering if gaining weight was an issue for people? did youj lose weight as well? I'll gain like 2 pounds then lose 1 here and there. I've only gained like 3 pounds so far. I'm sure i'm gonna gain more lol! Is anyone having issues with nutrition? I did at first but after seeing my nutritionist i've been better! :D

OK it has been AGES since I posted in here last so I feel the need to provide some back story...

I had gastric bypass 10/18/11 and found myself pregnant with my second child just 5.5 months post-op. On 11/30/12 I gave birth to a handsome baby boy who will be turning 2 soon! That seriously blows my mind that it's been that long since he was born... ANYWAY... After FINALLY getting back on track, I found out that I was expecting my third child just 5 months after having my son!

Fast forward to August 2013 just days before our gender ultrasound, I kicked my husband out of the house after my nephew, who'd been living with us since 2010, told his mom that my husband had been sexually abusing him. My husband was arrested just a couple of weeks later and charged with sexual assault on a child and sexual assault on a child by a person in a position of trust. While I was pretty sure I was going to end up divorcing him, I put that on the back burner while the criminal stuff got sorted out "just in case" it all turned out to be a lie (which it didn't). My husband ended up confessing EVERYTHING to me and later accepted a plea bargain. He plead guilty to ATTEMPTED sexual assault on a child and the other charge was dropped. He was sentenced in April of this year to three years in prison (******* got of EASY!!!) and two years of parole to follow. I had my third child (a girl) on January 13, 2014.

Naturally, I was in a deep, dark place for a long time. I wrestled with anger, depression, anxiety, sheer hatred... I wanted to give up. A LOT. But here I had three extremely important reasons to keep going. Looking back, I honesty don't know how I got through, but I did by the grace of God. Once the loneliness really set in, I created a profile on plenty of fish (a dating site). That quickly became uninteresting to me when the first (and only) guy I ever talked to off of that site ended up being a freak who just wanted a woman to let him in her back door and THIS mama don't play that!!! I decided I wasn't ready to put up with another man's bull**** and resigned myself to being single for the foreseeable future. I was focusing on my schooling and my kids and that was, most of the time, distraction enough from the loneliness that was eating at me.

After being on the max daily dose of Zoloft for a few months, I started to have more problems with anxiety and depression. Mainly surrounding a big move from the home my husband and I had built together to an apartment for just me and my kiddos. But my doctor put me on another anti-depressant to supplement the Zoloft and I didn't like feeling like I had to have these pills to just survive. So I started (once again) to look for a church home. 

I've since found that - and more. I messaged an old co-worker/acquaintance to ask what church he went to three weeks ago and somehow that led to talking about our lives in general and exchanging phone numbers "in case I ever needed to talk." At that point we started exchanging more than 200 texts a day. And then, before you knew it we were meeting in person to talk. After our first meeting, I hugged him goodbye as I tend to do all of my friends and he texted me later that day saying "I could've held you all day." I started having feelings for him and ended up asking if I was crazy and imagining the chemistry between us because I'm just not very good at the flirting/dating/general dealings with the opposite sex thing and he said no, I wasn't crazy. The next time we met up, he kissed me after walking me to my car and that was pretty much that. He is quite a bit older than I am - 10, almost 11 years lol but it doesn't bother either one of us. He is a complete gentleman. Opens doors, tells me I'm beautiful multiple times a day, etc. He's sooo sooo good to me and he's great with my kids. He understands without having been told that they and I are a package deal. I told him that it melts my heart that he cares about my kids so much and he told me "Of course I do. They're part of you and I love you so I love them, too." LOL My kids absolutely love him, too... Judge if you must, but I'm pretty sure he's my next husband...

Now I just need to get divorced... no, I am still not divorced yet, but have applied for legal aid and they have said this should be easy and that I could be a free woman as soon as February. Sounds good to me!!!! I just want to make absolutely sure that my ex isn't allowed anything more than supervised visits with the kids.

Speaking of my kids... my oldest just turned 6 (WHAAAAA??!??!!) and is doing great in Kindergarten. She's a brilliant little girl and started school already reading at a 5TH grade level!!! My boy is such a handful but such a momma's boy and he just melts my heart. My youngest is 9 months old - cray cray!!! She's crawling everywhere, pulls herself up and walks along the furniture. She's FINALLY starting to catch up in size with her peers. Today at her 9 month check-up she weighed 15lb 3oz and was 26.5 inches. For the longest time she wasn't even on the growth charts!

Anyway, it's been a helluva year. One I didn't think I would have survived if you had asked me back then. But here I am... standing, stronger than ever, and now I have a love greater than what I ever had with my ex. I guess all those people who told me a year ago that things wouldn't suck forever were right after all even though I couldn't see it then.

So... I thought my family was complete but now... who knows. There certainly won't be any new little ones along any time soon but they're not outside the realm of possibility now. My new hunny and I have mutually agreed to save sex for if/when we are married. I figure - hey, God gave me this second chance and I'm going to do things His way this time so that things might just turn out better this time. :)

Anyway, there's my novel. If you've made it this far thanks for reading. Hope you all are well. Wishing those of you who are TTC lots and lots of sticky baby dust!

Celia

Me and my new hunny (his name is Russell)

My oldest and my boy snuggling and watching a movie. They love each other :)

My youngest at 8 months old