Start my first ever dose of Clomid today...Yikes!
Well almost 3 years of infertility, and a diagnoses of PCOS, has come down to this first attempt at pregnancy with medical intervention. I start Clomid today, and then a medication called estradiol that is inserted vaginaly for 5 days, then an ultra sound at day 15 and if there are follicles present, an HCG injection..
I am nervous.....I am afraid to hope because I think the disappointment of failure would kill me. I feel so strange like, this isn't really happening to me or something, it's so hard to explain.
I am not a jealous person, it's just not my nature, but I find myself so green with jealousy at every pregnant women I meet that is is hard for me to even look at them, and I hate that! it's just not like me to act that way and I feel ashamed of myself for it.
As always, I know I can open up to my OH friends because you all understand like no one else does. Thanks for reading this, I am just in a tense moment and the feeling of insecurity is really effecting me today.
RNY 1/29/08
Pre: BMI 47.6 wt 279
Current: BMI 24.9 wt 146
total pounds lost: 133
on 3/6/13 4:41 am