Depressed and Confused

I had surgery almost 6 years ago and had AMAZING results .. I weighed 412 the day of surgery and was down to 195 a year and 2 months later.  In 2009 a little over 2 years after surgery I decided to have a baby .. In May 2010, I gave birth to an amazing little girl! Of course I did have some "issues" when I first became pregnant with her - for some reason I was rapidly losing weight when I first became pregnant.  At first my OB was ok with the weight loss but once it reached 31 pounds lost at 3 and a half months pregnant, he became concerned and made me have all sorts of blood work done, to which everything came back normal ... he scared me into eating more during the day and eating most things that I would not have dreamed of eating if I want pregnant.  I did increase my calorie intake and by no surprise the weight started to come back on.  I went from 195 the day I fund out I was pregnant down to 164 at 3 months pregnant up to 267 the day my daughter was born.  After having the baby I had such a hard time losing the weight - I would lose some, gain some in a vicious cycle!  I decided that I would try to have one more baby before I set my mind to hardcore weight loss.  So in 2011, I got pregnant with my second child --- putting weight on was NO issue for me that pregnancy, it was slow at first but towards the end I put on quite a few pounds.  The day my son was born I weighed 295 pounds! I was so upset with myself and vowed to get this weight off.  Of course everyone told me "dont worry about it you just had 2 babies in 2 years" .... My son is now 9 months old and I have gained 50 more pounds since he was born! I was diagnosed with post partum depression a month or so after he was born and was eventually put on medication for it (Zoloft 100mg) .... I have since taken myself off the medication and have started dieting and exercising but the more I diet and exercise the more the weight doesn't go anywhere! I am so depressed and confused I dont know what to do! I feel like such a failure  - I hate leaving my house ... nothing fits anymore .... I dont know what to do with myself!! Has anyone else had this issue??? I welcome any advise!!

I was 170lbs when I got pregnant with my son. At EVERY OB appointment I went up 10lbs! I would be in tears, and the dr would say "we expect you to gain weight!" I was up 70lbs by the time my son was bit I had a heck of a time taking any weight off! When I found out I was pregnant this time, I was still at 215-220lbs!! I was devastated to find out I was pregnant again! I asked to talk to a NUT and everything. I am 19weeks today and have not gained a pound! Now I have a horrible ear infection causing me to not have an appetite, so I am sure the weight will start going down again! I am still scarred to gain anymore weight! This time I am having a girl, and all my cravings are for healthy foods, and the bad ones are not even appealing. I even breast fed my son a year! They said "it will help you lose weight" yeah... Right!

I did the 5 day pouch test, also started eating the same way after surgery after he was born and it did not help me lose anything! I was and still am discouraged!

What is the 5 day pouch test??? I really don't know what to do with myself? I cry all the time and am just so miserable! I recently signed up for a 5k walk/run for the end of the summer with hopes that it will motivate me to get my butt in gear!!

It is going through all the steps of eating right after surgery. Check out the site www.5daypouchtest.com

I feel the same as you.  I started out at 360 lost 200lbs and gained 40lbs during my preg.  Had my LO 7 1/2 mo ago and still weigh the same as i did when i delivered.  I look in the mirror and see a FAT COW and hate that i can't fit into any of my clothes.  Towards the end of my preg we found my hubby may have cancer and exactly 2wks after delivery we got confirmation that it was cancer.  Needless to say my problem has been stress eating and busy taking care of everyone but me.  I also have been battling post partum depression but have been to busy to go to the doctor so just "dealing with it".  When i start to break down and think about going to the doctor i make excuses like....to embarrassed about the weight gain.....I'm still BFing and don't want to give my baby chemicals....ect.  Sigh..... I am so feeling you and I too just this week finally made a baby step by going to the YMCA for a water workout class.  I didn't really enjoy it but am going again tonight for water zumba hoping i can get my groove back......sigh....thanks for posting we never want to talk about the bad stuff...just put on that smile and pretend all is good.  It's nice to know when your not the only one. 

Tiff

I am so glad that I am not the only one dealing with this.  I have had such a hard time with this and no one seems to understand what I am dealing with!  I feel so bad obsessing over my weight when there are far worse things that I could be dealing with (like your husbands cancer for one!! So sorry to hear that!) .. But I worked so hard and for the first time in my life I was proud of my accomplishments with my weight loss and now I fee like I threw it all away!  I hope that you have a better time a****er zumba (never heard of that, I might have to see if they have that around my area!!) ... I can not wait for the warmer weather to get here so I can start walking with the kids!!!  If you ever need someone to talk to you, I am here for you!