My birth story and pics (finally!)
while i have a minute to finally sit on my computer let me give you the quick version of the story. SO much has happened in the last 3 weeks. here we go.
i started having contractions on a sunday night at 10pm. had contractions all day monday (lost mucus plug), finally tuesday morning they were getting to intense to wait. so i went to the birthing center. got there at 11am. i was 5 cm and in active labor. my water hadn't broken. i walked around a bit. everyone at the birth center was surprised with how well i was handling it all. i was in good spirits, making jokes, breathing through it. at around 4pm i was like 6.5cm and they told me to get in the tub. so i did. i was in the tub for hours. at around 8cm they finally broke my water. all this time i was handling it extremely well. my family was so proud of me. no screaming, just breathing breathing breathing. after 8cm i stalled a bit, things slowed down. so i got out of the tub and started doing squats, sat on a bouncy ball, walked around the room, anything to make things progress bc i was so exhausted after not sleeping for 2 days.
finally around 1am i started to feel those nasty nasty contractions. like..end of the world, someone kill me contractions. i kept begging my husband and midwife to please please help me. i couldn't take anymore. please!! but they just looked at me and said there was nothing they could do. it was the most hopeless moment of my life. the hardest thing i ever experienced ever. i only got to 9 cm when she finally said, ok lets push. so mind you, i never felt the urge to push. the pushing was hard bc i was soooooo tired and had nothing left. i pushed for 45 min in the tub b4she told me to get on the bed.
so i got on the bed. after like 20 min he finally started to come down. i have to tell you that hours before this i had convinced myself there was no baby in there. if there was a baby in there he would come down. i was convinced it was a giant tumor or something. i kept saying it was a big ball of pain. i was so delirious by this point. finally his head started to crown, thank god my midwife pushed my skin back to help his head pop out bc i wouldn't have been able to do it on my own. the ring of fire is real. it hurt. but i swear at this point i didn't give **** i wanted this **** to be OVER and anything to stop these contractions from hell. once his head was out i got the rest of him out in 2 pushes. ahhhh..what relief...for about a minute. when they put him on me i was in shock bc i had convince myself there was no baby. so i didn't have the reaction i expected to have. i was just kind of like a deer in headlights. but there he was. my perfect angel. i was so ******g relieved it was over. and then BAM more contractions. i screamed WHY AM I STILL HAVING CONTRACTIONS?!! i had heard that the second they put him in your arms all the pain goes away. WRONG!!! turns out it was my placenta. one push and plop it was out. then came the stitches. i tore during delivery and i had to get sewn up with no anesthesia. OUCH!!! ugh. then i had to stay there naked with a blanket on bc i was bleeding a lot still. you know, right after the uterus has to contract so you have contractions and blood comes down. this continued all night (and for 2 days after). he was born at 3:28am on 12/12/12 which was his due date. which is amazing. he's 3 weeks old today. i had an all natural childbirth, 52 hours. and i handled it all very well, until the end. and i was so crazy traumatized by the labor that i said, i can't have anymore children. i can't do that again. i can't. even if i got an epidural next time, i don't think i could do it. went home the next day (hours later) at 11am with a perfectly healthy baby boy. he was great for 2 days. day 3 he started having colic (or so i thought) and he was crying inconsolably. breastfeeding was painful and a struggle. he would bite down on the nipple the first 5 or 6 days. i couldn't get him to open wider. it was excrutiating, and he screamed bloody murder. i felt like i was torturing him. it was so stressful and awful. i cried a lot. i was doing everything wrong. he kept getting thinner and thinner. crying even after a feeding.
finally after 2 weeks my midwife became concerned and suggested i supplement with formula. mind you i was dead set on doing this the right way. breastfeeding, not even pumping with the bottle, no pacifier, nothing. just breast. but at this point i didn't care. my baby needed to eat. so i got formula, gave it to him and BAM totally diff baby. now he only cried when he wants to be changed, fed or held. i am sooooo grateful. i just wanna fatten him up. still pumping, waiting for nipples to heal b4 i give him nipple again.
And now a photo bomb :) you can see he got skinnier and skinnier :( but the last pic you can see he's now a happy baby.
Wow, what a story! I have always said I want a bunch of kids but I have a funny feeling that I won't be able to do it more than once. I guess I better hope for multiples HAHA.
He is such a little cutie pie!!!
HW: 295 / SW: 273 / CW: 169.4 / GW: 140 / Dream Goal: 120
Height: 5'3.5" - *22lbs of my weightloss was lost pre-surgery.
So glad to finally hear from you! You've survived the worst, and you've made it to the other side to tell the tale. It is amazing how quickly we can go from "I'm never doing this again" to a complete puddle of "I want another" at the mere sight of baby feet a few months/years down the road. :)
So happy to hear that formula solved the problems for both of you! It may not be what you envisioned, but most of parenthood doesn't go by our plans. A happy baby and mama are far more important than worrying about where the food is coming from. With any luck, you'll be able to give it another go if you choose.
Congratulations, he is adorable!
Girl I give you mad props for going au natural. I had epi's with both of my kiddos and still could feel the later contractions, though they were bearable with the epi. Benji is so adorable and I'm glad he's doing better. I know formula wasn't in your plan, but healthy baby is much more important than where his nutrition is coming from.
We'll see how long you stick to that "I can't have any more kids" thing lol. You'll start missing having a baby eventually and that pregnancy/labor/delivery amnesia sets in. You'll start asking yourself "Was it really that bad?"
Anyway, you have quite a birth story. Hope you're recovering and healing well.
I have only been a lurker since my daughter was born sleeping in 2011 but I have followed your journey since your first pregnancy. I am so happy that you got your fairy tale ending. Formula may not have been what you envisioned but you have done an amazing job. You have nutured him from the very start. Don't let the unplanned bottle feeding over shadow all the glory your son brings you and your husband. They grow up so fast, remember to take tons of pictures and cherish the amazing gift you have. Again congrats on the birth of your adorable and perfect son!!
on 1/2/13 9:27 pm
. Wow, I remember you ttc, announcing your pregnancy and now to believe Benji is here...gosh, time flies! Congratulations again 
