Trouble getting pregnant after Bypass

I had surgery in April 2005 and got married in October 2006.  Despite having regular cycles (even before surgery), it took us 5 years and 2 years of infertility treatments to get pregnant (7 losses too, one being my son's twin).  One out of eight couples has fertility issues, so for some of us, surgery is not a cure all.  I know that is a hard pill to swallow and my timeline is longer than even most infertiles with intervention.

First of all, those trying less than a year -- keep trying -- the average is 8 months.  Use OPK's and time it well.  If you are not getting postive OPK's, go the to RE (reproductive endocrinologist), DO NOT go to your OB.  They are in the business of maintaining pregnan****s/babies.  RE's are in the business of GETTING YOU PREGNANT.   Most women wait far too long.

A couple of the first things if you don't think you are ovulating is to try fairly mild meds -- metformin and clomid.  Not necessarily together.  Metformin -- even if you are not insulin resistant -- can help most women ovulate and have normal periods.  If still no ovulation, try clomid.  Clomid, however, dries you up, and has some pretty strong side effects.  If clomid doesn't work after three cycles, ask your RE to try FEMARA.  Many, MANY women who clomid did not work for, FEMARA did.  It is a breast cancer drug, but it has been effective in helping women ovulate and get pregnant.  The studies will talk about birth effects, but that is IF you take it WHILE pregnant -- not to help you get pregnant. 

If the three things above help you ovulate, but you aren't getting pregnant -- it is time to have a HSG (check/flush your tubes) and your husband to have a semen analysis (heck, this could be done even earlier).

If after that, if all checks out OK...you will need to move onto injectable meds/IUIs.  Don't do injectable meds without doing an IUI.  They are too expensive not to KNOW that the soldiers are making it to the eggs.  Try 3 rounds of this (I did 12, because that is al my insurance would cover at the time).  If nothing, move on to IVF -- explained infertility or not, this is your best chance.  Just saying "IVF" is actually simple sounding.  I did IVF, blood thinners, metformin (for repeat loss), synthroid (you thyroid TS4 number should be under 2 when TTC), and steroids all in the same cycle to get my sticky baby.

Lastly, I am sorry to one of the above posters, but "relaxing" and "just having fun" doesn't work when you have a medical issue.  Tune out anyone who just talks nonsense.  Most people who have never been through it say the wrong things (not intentional), and are not helpful.  So, just nod and move on.

If you want to read a humorous synopsis of our journey, you can find it here:  http://onederwomyn.com/infertile.html (start at the bottom and go up). 

I had a beautiful baby boy on Leap Day.  The road was long, but I know some that are even longer.  Be your own advocate, learn as much as you can, and I wish you the best of luck -- I don't wish infertility on my worst enemy.  It's a medical condition, but rarely to people see it as such (especially insurance).

GREAT post Ann! I especially loved this part: "Lastly, I am sorry to one of the above posters, but "relaxing" and "just having fun" doesn't work when you have a medical issue.  Tune out anyone who just talks nonsense.  Most people who have never been through it say the wrong things (not intentional), and are not helpful.  So, just nod and move on."

YES!!!! I'm feeling very annoyed right now at all of the people who give that advice. Sure it might help some women without a medical issue, but it makes women who do have issues not trust their gut and wait a long time disappointed.

It took injects and IUI for me to get my sticky bean. I also lost my son's twin on that cycle. Prior to that I tried natural TTC with timing and OPK's, got pregnant after 6 months but it was ectopic and I lost a tube, then 3 rounds of clomid and it didn't work. I have PCOS and required high doses of inject meds to get my hormones up high enough to produce a quality egg, and then supplemental progesterone until my second trimester to keep me pregnant. If I kept trying just naturally I would no double have produced poor eggs and had nothing but miscarriages due to that and my low progesterone.

Massive weight loss did make it possible to get pregnant with help though. I have a feeling it wouldn't have happened at all prior to that. I am so thankful to my VSG :)

How is saying relax nonsense??? I have medical issues thank you very much I have endometriosis and Pcos Im Very lucky to have been able to get pregnant.. What I said WAs nothing wrong In my eye you woman are nut cases always trying to bash someone . I said that sincearly I know how hard it is to get pregnant Ive delt with infertility and I just happen to surpass IT because .. I stopped trying so hard and relaxed and Didnt make it a job to get pregnant.

We're not nut cases. We are just tired of having people tell us if we just relax everything will work out fine. For the majority of people relaxing is good advice, and even for those who are struggling. Sorry it came across like I was bashing. I wasn't trying to. I'm totally jaded and have heard such bad advice from so many people. I'm happy for you that you didnt have to make getting pregnant a job. The majority of women don't have to.

Does relaxing make cancer go away?  NO.  I know that is a harsh way to compare...but for some couples, infertility is a MEDICAL issue that no amount of relaxing is going to help.  And for the record, I was "relaxed" for the first two years of my journey.  It got me nowhere.

I am not a nut case.  And, I am pretty sure any woman who has been on this board since 2005 or earlier would attest to that. 

Preach.... been here since 2005 :-)

i am a little over a year out from VSG and had fertility problems pre op and now again am having them post op.  seeing a new RE next week.  Clomid did not work for me, but Femara did make me ovulate.  Try asking about that?  Good luck!

Just wanted to add my two cents:

My background: I am a former vet, worked many years in the medical field, dealt with infertility for over 6 years been married over 10...The advice to "relax" is a joke to anyone who has ever had any experience with difficulty conceiving a child. As someone in the midst of a miscarriage (waiting for my first period after my HCG levels reach zero) I can advocate for following your gut and your instincts as a woman. If you feel something is wrong get checked out, by someone who has expertise in your particular situation.

Infertility is one of the most misunderstood diagnosis and as women it is often easy to be overwhelmed by the barrage of "well meaning aunts" who know someone whose second cousin removed from their third uncle got pregnant after ___ fill in the blank with potions, vacation, adoption, trip to local fair. Doctors are also not helpful with a "wait and see" attitude if you are under the magic age of 35: dont walk, run from those types. The time and heartbreak from wasted time waiting and doing the wrong thing is something you can never get back.

My best words of wisdom:

*Invest in books that deal with infertility, check them out from the library or get them online used from a retailer.

* Do your homework before you ever talk to a obgyn or RE. You will save an enormous amount of time from having them have to explain to you in layman's term what they think is going on, you can move on to discussions about "meat and potatoes" of your situation.

*Taking Charge of Your Fertility was an amazing book that helped me learn about my body and it is a text I go to time and again to reread or review concerns as they arise.

*Start monitoring your fertility signs or lack thereof: Get a small binder and start a record of your menstrual/ovulation/surgery/meds records. Take them to your appointments with your chosen provider so you have that information handy. Ask your mom about her fertility issues, some things are inherited or can be a pattern in your genetic makeup. Ask about your grandmother, sometimes thyroid, cancer, fibroids or other issues can also be a problem in families.  

**SELF CARE!!!: Learn to channel some of that energy: walking, running (in moderation), Yoga, and meditation are all great ways to get some exercise and do something for yourself.

*Join a group of other women going thru what you are going thru: RESOLVE is a great resource, FertileThoughts Forums, are awesome communities of women who know what you are going thru.

*Circle and bloom Meditation CDs or downloads are amazing, it takes 15 mins a day and they have tons of programs designed for your needs. I have several in my mini ipod and find them invaluable in my tool box of fertility boosting arsenal.

*DONT NEGLECT YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER!! Have date nights, learn something new together, have fun just for the fun of it!

That's about the most comprehensive list I could think of for now, stay balanced and remember to be good to yourself and those you love.

EstherStar 

I was married for five years with out any child, because of this my husband start acting very strange at home, coming home late and not spending time with me any more. So i became very sad and lost in life, my sister in law told me about DR. zogo from the Internet, how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him. he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days later my husband came back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr  zogo for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is: [email protected]

I was married for five years with out any child, because of this my husband start acting very strange at home, coming home late and not spending time with me any more. So i became very sad and lost in life, my sister in law told me about DR. zogo from the Internet, how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him. he cast a spell and it was a miracle three days later my husband came back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,few month later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (girls) we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr  zogo for saving my relationship and for also saving others too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is: [email protected]