sad update...
We lost the baby, I am currently under very watchful eye of my OBgyn because they say its an ectopic and they already gave me the mtx shot and I will probably need another one tomorrow after my blood test. My numbers doubled after they gave me the first one as expected but they went down by only like 5 points and not nearly the 15% they expected. I am so devastated and heartbroken, this was my very first pregnancy after trying so long and waiting all my life only to have it snatched away from me. I'm shocked, saddened and overall feeling like crap since this pregnancy was my miracle but it's no longer a miracle only a tragedy. Thank you all for the support and kind words when I shared my good news. My faith is not shaken I just don't understand why this had to happen. I've been in and out of the hospital since I made my announcement on here, thankfully I only told this community and my parents and one sibling. I knew that it was too good to be true, it sucks that I was proven right. We also have to wait atleast 3 months before we get the go ahead to try again. I'm so sick of it all.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby...I can somewhat understand how you're feeling. I feel like we've been trying to have a baby forever at this point. It's been a little over 4 years now. In our first year of trying, I had 3 miscarriages. I have yet to get pregnant again. I've gained a lot through the miscarriages, medications, and eventually just not caring because I was so depressed so now I'm dealing with trying to lose weight to give me some hope of getting pregnant. I never became pregnant before wls and since I've gained weight I haven't gotten pregnant again. I know that nothing can possibly replace this baby but I pray for you that when you're able to try again getting pregnant with a healthy baby happens quickly for you. May you find some comfort during such a sad time. If you ever want to talk I'm an awesome listener!
:: Highest: 359 :: Pre-Op: 330 :: Current: 197:: Goal: 140 ::
I've been coming on and on just to see how you were doing,, i am soooooo sorry. You gave me kind words when i was down and i want to offfer you the same. It does suck. I don't know why these things happen. But i have to keep telling myself over and over and over.. the character of God is always good. And i have to believe He's got our future and in His hands our future is best. again, i'm so sorry. I'm like you, you guys are who i talk to about stuff (besides my husband).. cause i don't want to get everyone elses hopes up in my friends and family, just to dash them to pieces like mine are. ok, ok, God is good. hugs, sandy
sigh...i don't even know what to say. i know nothing i can say can make it better. i've been there. its awful. i don't remember how far along you were but i'm sure you were further along than i was when it happened to me. its devastating and nothing can change that. just know that this isn't the end. i don't know why this happens. my husband told me it wasn't meant to be bc the baby wasn't formed right. so for me that was a comfort. but i don't know if thats always the case. anyway i'll shut up. just wanted to send you hugs. just remember to grieve. don't hold it in. i did that and i went on a self destructive spree for a couple of months. give yourself time to grieve.
hugs
meli
I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I too had an ectopic pregnancy after months of trying and it was completely earth shattering devastating. I would have given anything to just have a "normal" miscarriage like other people I know. Ectopics are particularly nasty because they add a whole other layer of worry and pain. Not to diminish miscarriages, which are also devastating. Unfortunately I've had one of those as well.
It sounds like the methotrexate is working for you. I know its hard to have to wait 3 months to TTC again, but its worth it to make sure there is enough folic acid available to your next little one. Unfortunately I did not get the shots in time myself and due to many faulty decisions by my OB I ended up in emergency surgery and lost my right fallopian tube.
The good news is that after my 3 months of waiting, I beelined it to an RE and got successfully pregnant on my very first cycle. I have a 2 1/2 month old sweetie pie sleeping in his swing right next to me now. The fact that you were able to get pregnant once, even though it was an ectopic pregnancy, means you are fertile and can get pregnant again. That is what my RE told me!
I don't know anyone in real life that had an ectopic pregnancy, only people on web forums like this. Let me know if you need someone to talk to. Hugs,
Nikki
Lapband 8/2007. Revised to VSG 10/2010.... 170 pounds lost!
I lost my daughter last year at 18 weeks do I am understand the overwhelming sadness that you feel. I did not have the months or years of trying to conceive and I am sure that adds to the intensity. I remember when another member who has responded to your post already had a miscarriage last year. She was experiencing all the things that you are now but one of the things that did come out of it besides her now having her rainbow baby is that she learned that she is able to get pregnant, her body did not fail her. She found comfort in knowing that she despite all her trial and tribulations she was able to get pregnant on her own. I realize that the loss is new and th wounds are fresh but I promise you that from my won loss. I have learned that everything happens for a reason. We may not understand but I promise if you allow yourself time to grieve and in turn heal it will get better.
