pregnancy glow my butt

 i'm 16 weeks. and i hear all these lovely stories about flutters and what not. the only thing i'm feeling is acid reflux, an explosion of acne, 3 days of no BMs, and misc discomfort when i'm sleeping. probably bc my body is growing at night. i don't feel like eating, i just wanna sleep. i have zero energy and then this ravenous hunger comes over me. maybe i'm getting sick. or maybe my 1st ad 2nd trimester decided to switch symptoms.

i've gained 11lbs. which...is a bit scary. i'm only 16 weeks. it didn't bother me before bc i still looked great. but now i'm starting to look fat. and i knew this would happen but it didn't start to bother me till yesterday. it bothers me for 3 reasons. one, i'm almost back to 200lbs and i know i'll go over. which for us WLS patients is scary! remember how hard we worked to get to onderland? reason 2 is that so many of the girls i talk to are like, oh i never even gained weight. i weighed less when i delivered than i did before i got pregnant. i guess maybe they lost some during morning sickness. but i never got that. the good news is the cravings for junk food have subsided. i got my fix. so hopefully i don't gain too much more too quickly. i haven't worked out at all. i have zero energy. and reason #3 why this bothers me and the biggest reason of all (and its not vanity) is because ppl judge me ALL the time. they're always waiting for me to screw up and get fat so they can prove to themselves that wls doesn't work and they can go on about their lives. so i feel like they'll see me as a failure for putting on the weight. even though its for a very good reason and even a skinny girl who never had weight issues would put on a significant amount of weight, i still think they're gonna judge me. 

i know its dumb. i'm not gonna let myself get all caught up in it. this baby is getting bigger therefore i am getting bigger. and thats that. i think i'll feel better when i feel the baby move, or start showing. because then i'll have something tangible. right now i just have my body making these weird changes that aren't cute. ughhh 5 months can't get here soon enough. its like working out and wanting to see results. only i'm pregnant and i wanna see that i'm pregnant.

ok thats my rant. i seem to be getting everything in the book that i read for the 2nd trimester. constipation (big time!!), dry irritated eyes, everything but the flutter. waah :( seriously though, any one have any ideas about the constipation? i drink lots of water. is it safe to take a stool softener?

I think most of us go through the "Oh i look sooooo fat thing during preg after WLS".  I will get better esp. once you begin to pop and others notice.  It was hard for me when i seen the 200 again i have gained around 35# but compared to my first preg of gaining 86# i won't complain.  Also look at where you been, I was 359 prior to WLS and 200 is NO WHERE near there.  For constipation i use Colace 100mg twice a day as needed and it works well.  They are small little gel caps you can pick up at wal-mart.  Hope you get to feeling better about yourself and don't beat yourself up too much.  Oh and that flutter will come before you know it.  I remeber the first time i felt my daughter move, the  place what i was doing everything.  It will be something you will never forget :). 

Tiff

 thanks tiff. :) you're so right. i might gain like 30 something lbs but i won't gain all 90 back. thats for sure. i won't be anywhere near where i was. and i'll lose it again. thanks for the perspective. 

thanks for the tip on the Colace! and i hope i feel it soon. i want to sooo badly!

I could have written your post. I will be 14 weeks on Sunday and everyhting is pretty much the same. I put on a maternity shirt the other day and oh wow did I take it off fast! To me I looked soooo fat. My boyfriend says I am beautifully pregnant...that is not how I see it.

We will get through it. ;)

 haha i hear you on that! i can't get to 5 months soon enough. these in between weeks are driving me nuts!

Aww Meli, We all go through the mid pregnancy ugly's! Everyone who is pregnant, even skinny girls, goes through that second trimester phase where its hard to tell if they are pregnant or just putting on a little weight. I didn't show AT ALL until I was mid 20 something weeks. Even now, at 32 weeks lots of people "can't tell" I'm pregnant and are shocked when I tell them. I was 245 pounds when I got pregnant. Down from nearly 400. I got down to 220 for a day or two in my second trimester from increased metabolism. I have gained back up to 232. If I got pregnant at 100 something pounds I know I would have gained a lot more weight by now! I'm just still fluffly ;) And because of my extra skin on my tummy, when I sit down I just have a couple giant fat rolls and don't look pregnant at all. So I can't wear cute pregnancy belly hugging shirts!
It is very psychologically hard to gain weight back. I know you know its worth it bla bla bla. But it is still hard. Its also normal for you to experience paleness, acne, etc. with the changing hormones. And most women I've known do. I was super pale during my first trimester. Now it depends on the day :) Where do you think all those old wives tales about gender came from? haha

As far as constipation.... totally normal for most preggo's. Water, fruit, fiber. If it's still a problem try collace pills.
I try to have a tough girl attitude most of the time about feeling insecure with the fat/preggo bell/loose skin stuff. But sometimes it does really get me down. Briefly. Then I remember what really matters (my healthy baby!) and try to inspire my inner ***** a little :)
I hope you start to feel better soon! I'm expecting you will start to have more energy in the next few weeks, although every pregnancy is different!

 thanks nikki!! :) you're right, you're right. i have moments of feeling sorry for myself, then i suck it up. i think the hardest thing for me is seeing my face get fat. my body is always different degrees of fat but when i lost the weight it was the first time in 15 yrs that i didn't have a fat face. i looked totally different and so pretty. you know how they say, you have such a pretty face if only you lost weight, that exact thing. so thats what scares me the most. having a fat face again.

the loose skin stuff sucks. i'm used to it. it keeps me from being able to run or jog or jump around. i have lose skin all over my torso. back skin. the worst of course is the panni. its keeping me from looking awesomly preggo. lol. i REALLY hope this B shape eventually at some point turns into a D shape!

oh and i didn't mention this but i am getting horrible acid reflux. tums did nothing. i called the doc and they said i could take zantaz 150 twice a day. it seems to be the only thing that works. thank god because its a horrible feeling. 

its so weird to be this sleepy. all of a sudden. must be from the baby growing. because i thought that was more in the 1s trimester and i was never this sleepy then. 

thanks nikki! it feels good to comiserate with someone who gets it! my friends and family don't.

Mel................hugs just remember everything you went through to get here it all gets better.In a few more weeks you will be feeling better I'm sure I did about 22 weeks.Your little bean is growing that's a good thing.If it makes you feel any better this time around I gained 45 on bed rest first 25 came off real fast the rest is coming off with some work.When I had the twins at 25 it all came off but 8 before I found out I was pregnant again.Just remember its all well worth it.I know you know and I know you were just venting just want to let you know it gets better.Hugs to you.I havent came in for a while but your crossed my mind today so come in to check up on you!

 awww thanks for that!! :) it helps to hear it. sometimes you just need to ***** a little. i'm so impatient with wanting to feel the baby or see the bump. i feel like until one of those things happen i'm gonna be complaining. lol. once i get one of those i'll be super happy. :)

I feel exactly the same, all even with my huge bump all I see is FAT in the mirror. And like you I feel like everyone is judging me, worst off I not only get the feeling that non WLS people want me to fail (or those who have a band but could not make it work for them) but I have 3 "friends" who have had RNY and we all had our last babies (now a year old) around the same time and they never lost the weight (I lost all except for 10lbs within 5 months) judging me also, before it was oh you lost the weight by starving yourself because you could not breast feed, now I get comments like oh it will be harder this time to loose the weight. I think we are our worst enemies sometimes but then you look at how others judge us and I feel like dam I can not get a break!
Then I got a call from a long time friend who were pregnant about 2 months behind me and she went into labor and the baby only lived for 2 days, they are crushed. So for this week at least I am trying to just be thankful that I have a healthy baby inside and growing. You worked hard to get pregnant try to enjoy it, it will be hard to loose the weight but you will do it!