just an update

 my OB is a jerk. he got all defensive when i pulled out my questions. he was short with me just answering quickly to shut me up. and he made me too nervous to even ask them all. one of the questions i asked his answer was "i already told you." wow. WOW. and then when i asked about the glucose test and told him i spoke to a lot of women who had WLS and they said drinking the liquid makes them throw up or its hard to drink that much liquid. his response was, can you drink liquid? with an attitude. i was like...umm..i can drink water just fine. i asked him if i could do the at home test instead and he said no, but i could eat 50 jelly bellies. he was just suuuuuuuuch a jerk about the whole thing. and my husband just sat there silently and NEVER said a word. i was like, wow, way to back me up. he's like, he asnwered all your questions. he didn't get any of the tone or the attitude. i felt so alone. like, where the **** was my back up? i had a complete and total breakddown when i got home. we had it out big time. in the end i think he's gonna try harder to be emotionally supportive. but now i'm left with finding another person to deliver my baby.

we're going to the birthing center next week. if it doesn't feel right then i will speak to a midwife that my cousin used and loved for her 2 kids. she delivers in a hospital.

the OB told me i shouldn't go with a midwife. that because i had wls i should go to a hospital. why is that a given? i'm not high risk. all of my tests have been emaculate. and last i checked, my stomach and my uterus aren't connected. i love how something that directly affects my pouch (the glucose test) he just rolls his eyes and brushes it off, but me pushing a baby from my vagina oh thats directly connected to wls. i get it. i get that something could go wrong. i know. something COULD go wrong. doesn't mean something will. i just don't appreciate fear mongering. i really don't. and he had such an attitude. i'm never going back there **** that guy.

have ANY of you had non hospital births?

I'm sorry you're having such a ****ty time finding the right practitioner to handle your labor and delivery. I wish I had more to tell you, but I don't have any experience with non-hospital birth. My first was born in a hospital and I'm okay going back to the same hospital when this one is born. I hope you find that perfect doctor or midwife soon.

 thanks. i hope so too.

Oh man, you hit the nail on the head with this OB I think! He sounds ignorant and judgmental about WLS. I know there are women on here who have had birthing center or home births post WLS, and you are right, your stomach and vagina are not connected.
Sorry you didn't have a good experience. At least you know he's not a good fit now instead of later on right? I hope you find someone that is more sensitive to your needs and just plain smater soon!
As far as the jelly bean test... do you normally ever eat that much sugar at once? If 50 jelly bellys seems reasonable to you, then I would try it over the glucose monitor. But if it sounds really excessive, I would demand something else. Some post VSG'ers feel symptoms of dumping if they eat that much sugar at once. Even though we don't technically dump. But then again, some of us eat more sugar than others regularly. Push for what you feel most comfortable with!
The problem with volume of the glucola drink isn't so much that its 10 oz. Its that its 10 oz. and you are supposed to chug it in 5 minutes, when you still have a meal in your stomach from an hour prior! Grrrrr ignorance!

 thanks nikki. listen, i sometimes have a hard time drinking crystal light. sometimes my pouch is tight, especially in the mornings (when all these appts are) and i've had to drink liquids like this before. once right after surgery and once for  h.pilory test. yuuuuck. i drank a really sweet sunkist like drink but that was before wls. thats diff. as for the sugar. i eat more sugar than i used to. but i do get really grossed out if i eat too much. really. i feel gross and pukey. and i thought about it....50 jellybeans? i don't even like jellybeans! yuck. i'd feel gross. also i think it would be hard. after 10 i'd be like..i can't fit anymore. 

you're right, i'm glad i found out now. thanks to all the ladies on here who helped me think of questions. i have a diff set of questions for the midwife.

it makes me feel better to know some women have had post wls babies outside of a hospital. i hope someone comes forward. just to give me piece of mind and PROOF!

What a prig... sorry, but that's the only fitting word I can find.  You are soooo right not to go back to him.  It's ridiculous to tell someone they can't give birth at a birthing center because they've had wt. loss surgery.  Unless there are other contributing factors of course.  You talk to someone else.  He was only patronizing you with the jelly beans.  It's still the same glucose load which causes the problems.  AND the test is not accurate!!  RNY pts don't absorb at the same rate as normal people and in most cases we get a false positive for the one hour and for the first hour of the 3 hour!!  Clearly he has had no experience with this. 

You keep listening to your instinct Meli... I think I remember his refusal to use Doulas put a a red flag for you (as it would have fore me!)  Keep listening to yourself and let your inner bulldog come out!  Find the one who is right for you!  There's no doubt that you will!!

Keep smiling!

 thank you!!!  yup. he was NOT right for me. and i'm glad i found out now. i'm glad i'm smart enough not to fall for his B.S.

Meli~

I am soooo sorry!
You and the baby do not need that stress or that doctor.
Reminds me of the doctor that said loose 70lbs. then I will check you for infertility as he handed me a temping chart!
Midwifes and other doctors have good people skils, regardless what size you are!
I wish you well in your journey to find a better medical support!
Happy DayCheri

PS
calling him a jerk is nice; I would have dropped a few F-bombs on him!

 haha thanks cheri. wish i had you there with me. maybe i should stop going to appts with my husband and take a girlfriend with me instead. girls get it more than guys do.

i agree. doctors have treated me like a freak for my weight all my life. which is so dehumanizing. especially when i saw heavier women than me getting pregnant. then i finally found one who was willing to help me even before my weight loss. its all about finding the right doc. hopefully i find one thats perfect for me.

There are OB's out there who do work with midwoves and doulas! maybe try reverse engineering this, and talk to some doulas and ask which doctors they have worked with and liked and then get in touch with those OB's. There is no reason you should have to settle for less than what you want!