confused and need feedback from you girls

MeliT
on 4/19/12 5:28 am, edited 4/19/12 5:55 am - Miami, FL
 when do you stop seeing your endo and start seeing an OB? my endo is nice but ever since finding out i was pregnant he hasn't told me anything. there was no pamphlet saying "you're pregnant, now what?" he didn't give me a list of things to avoid. didn't give me ANY warnings. and when i did ask he just rolled his eyes and told me to look on medical websites. this is really upsetting to me. i know an obgyn would be a lot more caring. as it is my endo doesn't explain anything to me. they treat me like i should know anything. and guess what?? i know NOTHING!!

when's the last time any of you saw your surgeon? i haven't seen mine since the 1yr mark. all they did was waste my time in the waiting room and then tell me i hadn't lost enough weight. i never went back after the 1 yr mark because i was sick of being told i'm not doing well enough and to eat only lettuce and meat. they called me 6 months after the 1 yr mark just because i guess its routine. but i didn't call back because of the same reasons as before. especially since jan i have gained 10lbs. which is scary becausei maintained my weight for like a year already. this was before i got pregnant. i just got a sharp pain on the left side of my tummy just under the skin. not even by a surgery scar. if i did get weird stomach pains, who should i see for it? ob? regular doc? surgeon??

what do you guys eat!?! i really need help here. my endo was MOST unhelpful. he told me to avoid carbs. oh come on man, thats just not realistic! he said "instead of a sandwich for lunch, have a salad". what a dick. am i supposed to have a salad every day? i mean don't get me wrong. i have eliminated rice and pasta and potatoes from my diet. but i will have an english muffin with my breakfast. whats so bad about that? i can't live in a world where i can NEVER eat bread. i'm sorry. when i do eat bread i try to eat only whole grain breads.  when i'm out somewhere i will induldge in just about anything. but at home i keep it low carb. but i need help. i need ideas. because i'm afriad of gaining too much. 

my weakness is popcorn. and i've been craving sugary cereal. but only given in once or twice. i will make meat (steak, chicken, etc) for dinners but never really eat more than a few bites. things like that are too heavy for me. i much more enjoy things that are easier to eat like cheese, eggs, nuts. but i'm really running out of ideas. i'm getting sick of nuts and eggs. what do you guys eat? 

i'm ok with gaining weight for the baby BUT i'm afraid to gain too much. because i'm  still getting crap from my doctor about it. i thought now would be the time people would cut me a break. but nope. and i'm scared because i was already gaining 10lbs before i even got pregnant and i have no idea why. because what i'm eating hasn't changed!! i need help getting back on track. 

oh and yes i got a BFP on April Fools day. I didn't want to say anything. i'm  6 weeks now. i'm really gun shy after the miscarriage the first time so i can't let myself get excited about this. so please don't make a big deal and give me any big contgrats. because i really don't want to have that exchange. call me supersticious but thats just how i feel. i wouldn't have said anything at all but i have soooo many questions and can't tell anyone and i feel so alone and confused.

*edit* the pain i'm referrring to is a pain to the left of my belly button. i've felt it before and it went away.


 

Paula622
on 4/19/12 10:57 am
Ok, so first of all, no congratulations from me at all.  I'm not going to say that I'm super excited for you or tell you that it is OK to be happy, things will most likely be just fine this time.  Now that I made sure not to say any of that, lets get down to business...

Don't know about the endo, but you typically see your OB around 8 weeks.  Even at a "normal" OB's office they tend to forget that this might be routine stuf f to them, but it is MONUMENTAL for a first time mom!  I think even the fact that they make you wait until eight weeks seems like torture.  I remember the feeling of "now what?" with my first... I was such a walking disaster!

I didn't see my surgeon between 6 months and 18 months because I was pregnant and they basically just had me follow up with my OB for everything.  They said if I ran into any eating difficulties or nurtitional issues to call, but luckily I had none.  I'm sure you don't really need to see them uless your OB feels that there is a particular reason to (sounds like they wouldn't be very helpful anyway).  It is amazing how many different "stomach" pains are just a normal part of pregnancy... cramping, bloating, slow digestive tract, heart burn, round ligament pain... just as you get used to one, something else starts.  Your OB should be able to gauge out what is normal.

Eating during pregnancy can be tricky because so many things are "off limits", especially for lunch.  No lunch meat, little/no tuna... It can get boring at times.  At this point in your pregnancy, I'd just say to eat what sounds good.  You'll find that one day you can't get enough of something and the next, just the sound of it turns your stomach.  I didn't eat a ton of carbs, but I also didn't really limit them.  I had good days, bad days, horrible days, I just tried not to beat myself up over it!  Just try to relax and enjoy this!  Don't stress about getting "yelled at" for the weight that you gained.  As long as you're gaining a healthy amount during the pregnancy the weight you gained prior can be dealt with later. 

Sorry you're feeling alone and confused!  If you ever need to talk to someone, PM me and I can give you my number.  This is an exciting time, I know it is scary, but worrying is just a normal part of the process, even for moms that have been there done that!  I hope I've addressed all of your questions, ask away if you have any more!  If you weren't inside my computer, I'd give you a big "mom hug" right now!


~ Paula
219/185/127/121/119
HW/SW/Original Goal/CW/New Goal 
Post WLS baby, born 11/10/11 and 3/20/14
 
      

MeliT
on 4/19/12 10:18 pm - Miami, FL
 paula!! thank you sooooooooooo much! this was so helpful. sometimes you just need someone supportive who's been there to make you feel like you're not doing everything wrong. thank you thank you thank you.


 

(deactivated member)
on 4/19/12 12:20 pm - Woodbridge, VA
Deep breath...in...out...   :)

I never saw an endo. I did see an OB prior to 8 weeks but only because I had NO idea how far along I was since my cycles were irregular. If you call your OB and explain the situation, they should tell you when they want you to come in.

I have never been back to my surgeon's office since 1 month post-op. I handle all of my labs and whatnot with my PCP. I will only see a surgeon if I have a SURGICAL issue, like intestines hanging out of my belly button or something  :P

I did avoid carbs when I found out I was pregnant. In fact, I buckled down and avoided lots of things, including all junk food, soy, artificial sweeteners, starchy carbs...I ate meats, cheeses, eggs, nuts, dairy (full-fat Greek yogurt, heavy cream, etc.), non-starchy veggies (broccoli, cauliflower, green beans, baby brussels sprouts, etc.), and a little bit of fruit here and there. I ended up losing about 12 pounds during my first trimester, and I never had any morning sickness or any other symptoms/side effects of pregnancy after I had been eating this way for about a week (prior to that, I did have some nausea and sore breasts).
MeliT
on 4/19/12 10:26 pm - Miami, FL
 thanks for the feedback. i feel better now about not seeing my surgeon. i honestly don't see the need to see my surgeon. but sometimes i feel a little guilty like maybe i am supposed to. like any time i have any kind of weird stomach feeling.

i actually don't have an OB. i stopped going to my gyno after my last papsmear last fall. i need a new obgyn. my endo says he's gonna pass me off to one but i just wasn't sure when.

god bless you for being able to eat that way. if only i could be that disciplined. but i have a sweet tooth. and sometimes the only thing i can stomach are dry bready things. and artificial sweetners, take that away and i'm left with water. and honestly the taste of plain water kind of makes me queasy. as silly as that might be. i do eat eggs, nuts, cheese, greek yogurt. but sometimes i crave salty crunchy things. or dry things. and i have a sweet tooth for after meals. i try to keep it to something small like 1 serving of ginger snaps. or one 100 calorie pack of skinnny cow chocolate. not the best, but not the worst you know?

for the most part i really don't eat badly. i just can't cut out ALL carbs.


 

MusicMaryn
on 4/19/12 12:31 pm - San Jose, CA
Hey Meli!  first of all... so good to see you posting again!  I've missed you!  I'm so with the pp... i'm not gonna say that I'm super excited for you.  And I really do understand... I had 2 MC's during the 6 cycles before this sucessful one.  so i totally get it!  I got pg on our 7th cycle (a year into TTC) via IVF at a fertility clinic w/an RE.  I was under my RE's care until 8.5 wks.  I had an US at 6.5 and 8.5 at the RE's office and we saw a strong heartbeat at both US's.  Then he sent me back to my OB.  Your RE sounds like a total asshole!  Call your OB and let them know that you got a BFP w/the RE.  Have you had an US yet? Did they see a heartbeat?

About bari surgeon... I LOVE mine.  I saw him at my 2 yr and then got pg 2 mos later.  Sounds like ur bari surgeon or at least their practice is an ass too!  I'm sorry!  Bottom line, once you start back with your OB (should be around wk 8) your OB will become your primary care doc.

As far as what to avoid now... what to do... Keep your exercise totally to low impact for now.  Your OB will tell you when you can add back in medium to high impact exercise.  So really... just walk for now.  No hot tubs or baths for now.  Be gentle with yourself.  Add in a prenatal vitamin and a folic acid to your existing vitamin regimin.  Getting pg with fertility assistance took a lot and you want to minimize any risk of MC'ing again.  put your feet up and relax as much as you can.

For the gaining 10 lbs since Jan... don't panic and don't beat yourself up.  I gained 11 lbs during the year we were TTC.  Some of my scary old habits came back with a vengence.  I was sneak eating.  It was bad. I mean, I'm a certified bariatric coach and i lead WLS support groups.  For a few weeks I literally would eat poptarts in my car on my way home from leading a WLS support group and get rid of the evidence so my wife had no idea.  It was stress.  The emotional rollercoaster of TTC was pure hell for me and I know it wasn't easy for you either.  I got pg 11 lbs higher than my lowest.  And honestly... I don't care at all right now.  I forgave myself for that.  I know that after I have my baby, I'll be able to drop the baby weight and then some.

As far as what I eat... I try to stick to a healthy diet.. protein and healthy carbs.  But honestly, I have had a little of the sweets too. Cravings... but i'm not beating myself up.  I know how to eat well and you do too.  Once I got the green light from my OB to exercise again, I've been really good.  I walk 30-60 mins/day at least 5 days/wk and I do prenatal yoga 1-2x/wk.  My OB told me high protein and low carbs... same as a bari diet.  You lost over 90 lbs w/ur WLS... you know how to do this.  The only thing is that now you cannot do an all protein diet... you need some healthy carbs daily otherwise you run the risk of going into ketosis (protein in the urine) which is bad for baby development.

PM me if you wanna chat more.  You're doing just fine!  Be gentle with yourself and call your OB to let them know where you are and make an appt for 8 wks or so.

Our little miracle baby boy is on his way!
Lilypie Maternity tickers
    
MeliT
on 4/19/12 10:48 pm - Miami, FL
 Thank you Maryn :)

well i don't have an OB at the moment. after my last papsmear last fall i stopped going to my gyno bc i didn't want to go to her anymore and i was seeing my RE anyway. so basically i have to find a new one. my RE said he would pass me off to an OB when the time comes. i'm hoping he will refer me to someone good. first ultrasound is next tuesday. i will be 7 weeks. i'm excited about it. but trying not to get too excited.

Yeah i haven't had the best luck with docs down here. my surgeon is an excellent surgeon but not the best doc. he got the job done but i always left there feeling so beat up. my RE is good as well but he's not good at explaining things and when he does its in a very scientific way and it all sounds like jibberish to me. i just nod. i never get any of it. it sucks. all the doctors i've had in miami are all about get them in, get them out, collect the co-pay. no one really seems to be fully there in the room with me. and its sucks.

about exercise. i've been doing none of it for like 3 weeks. i have had zero energy and just want to lay on the couch. but my doc is telling me to work out. and i feel like if i don't work out i'm gonna keep ballooning. but its hard because like i said, so little energy. and the only things i can do are very very low impact stuff like walking. and i was sloooooow. but i guess its better than nothing. i just have to try to do it more. in the last week i have found i have a little more energy and the fog is lifting a little. i WISH i could have caffeine. working out without caffeine sucks. lol. today i went for a walk and it took me 45 min just to warm up to the point of walking faster. and i did some light weights. i just need to try to be consitent. 

i've been taking prenatals with folic acid since last summer. and in december my RE told me to take one with DHA so i have been. thank you! i try not to push myself because i don't want to mc and i feel like i have to be very gentle. not to mention i'm still kind of freaked that the day i found out (at 4weeks) i fell in the parking garage righ on my stomach. the fact that everything is still in tact makes me feel like whew!! now be very very careful!

i was thinking about it. jan was when i was dealing with the mc and i had a really bad falling out with a friend. i was VERY depressed. plus that same month i took clomid, hcg shot, progesterone to try to get preggers and again and it failed. and i had all these hormones in my body. i was very very depressed. and i probably gave up with the eating stuff and made bad decisions. i think it was the perfect storm. its nice to know i'm not the only one who missteps. i just have real issues with people judging me. everyone judges me bc i had wls to begin with. then they expect me to be in a bikini. i never got that skinny. i went from 282 at my highest to 170lbs. and thats a lot. i am a totally different person. but people still tell me "you look good, but wait till you lose the rest of the weight."  but thats where i stopped losing. no matter what i did i couldn't lose anymore. so i maintained. and i was happy with  myself at that weight. then jan came and i'm up to 183lbs now. and  i feel like any mistake and people will look at me and go..."mmmhmm..see thats why wls isn't worth it. you just gain it back" i know i have to gain weight for the baby but i know this isn't baby weight. i wish i was starting lower. i'm so scared of gaining too much too fast. and i'm also scared that after i won't be able to get it off. i hope for morning sickness. because i hope that will be a way to lose weight. and i hope that when i have a baby i'll be so busy and between that and breastfeeding i can lose the weight. its just so hard with PCOS to lose weight. easy to gain, hard to lose. it sucks. 

i honestly don't feel like i eat badly. which is why its soo frustrating when i see the scale moving up. so i'm going to try to move around more. 

thanks for listening :) and thanks for writing. i really appreciate it. it feels so good to be able to talk to people about all the millions of things rattling around in my head.


 

(deactivated member)
on 4/20/12 12:08 am - Woodbridge, VA
"... you need some healthy carbs daily otherwise you run the risk of going into ketosis (protein in the urine) which is bad for baby development."

People keep saying this - including doctors - but I have never found ANYTHING to actually
support it. However, I have found LOTS of anecdotal evidence to support that low-carb eating during pregnancy is actually very healthy (and my PCP and OB both supported my diet). I was in ketosis likely throughout my entire first trimester and into my second, and my baby is perfectly healthy. Single example and purely anecdotal, yes, but I am not alone in this experience. The commonalities among women who sustained a low-carb diet throughout pregnancy include much lower occurence of nausea, morning sickness, headaches, swelling, and most other "common" pregnancy side effects.

Also, ketosis is not "protein in the urine." Protein in the urine is a symptom of preeclampsia (aka toxemia), which, yes, IS dangerous. Ketosis is ketones in the urine, which is only dangerous if accompanied by uncontrolled glucose levels, such as with diabetes, in which case it could be a dangerous combination indicating ketoacidosis, which is not the same as ketosis and is very much a dangerous condition. Ketosis is a very natural state that most people go into even unintentionally - it can happen when you don't eat for many hours at a time (such as overnight), when you don't eat very much due to increased nausea during pregnancy, or when you do eat but get sick frequently (as with morning sickness).
(deactivated member)
on 4/20/12 4:40 am - Woodbridge, VA
For the PCOS, are you on metformin? If you want to try to breastfeed (I know that seems like forever away right now, but it will get here before you know it!), PCOS can cause low milk supply, and metformin can help. I was struggling with low milk supply, and I had 3 different lactation consultants ask me if I had PCOS! So, if you're not taking metformin while pregnant, you may want to keep it in mind after you have the baby.
MeliT
on 4/20/12 4:44 am - Miami, FL
 my RE had me on metformin before i got WLS. he's never told me to get on it again since i lost weight it seems to be in check. i'll ask him about it next week. thanks!


 

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